Humbled By My Kik
I retired to Thailand at the dangerous age of 35. Freshly divorced, I was determined to make up for lost time, starting from an all boys education from the age of 9 years. After 6 months in Bangkok, I moved to Pattaya, in order to escape the pollution and congestion, and to pursue my great passion at the time, windsurfing.
At that time, mid '90s, Pattaya was most definitely beyond the pale. Not one major brand had a storefront there. It was in the depths of one of its periodic slumps. Traffic moved slowly, people were friendly, and the nightlife far outshone anything Bangkok had to offer at the time. I believe I was partly responsible for its demise by publishing a sort of blog / website about Pattaya nightlife, the first of its kind I believe.
After a couple of years of playing the field, and I do mean covering every bar in the 2nd road Beach Road area religiously, justified of course by my new web publishing activities, I decided that a man of my obvious talent and sense of self importance, must have as his girlfriend one of the lesbian show girls from Happy A Gogo, which in my twisted perception was the peak of Pattaya's whoring scene.
Happy A Gogo was of course on my nightly rounds, usually reserved for the final drink or two before scaling the final peak of Marine disco. But now it was different. I had a sense of purpose, a definite goal in mind. I entered Happy A Gogo with the object of claiming for myself one of the vixens who really licked pussy for a few hundred extra baht each month. One candidate stood out. Short but shapely, polite of demeanour, 21 years old, I summoned her to my side, bought her a drink and told her she reminded me of Uma Thurman, which was true. Not a tall girl, but her face had that serenity about it that I see in Uma Thurman.
My future girlfriend's name was Kik. She wanted 1,500 for an all night porking. I offered 1,000. Neither of us would budge, so I resolved to walk away and come back the next night, thus showing my strength of mind and establishing who was boss from the beginning.
The next night, Kik proved pliable to my offer of 1,000 for all night, so we decamped to my condo, where we smoked a little weed and I gave her a good porking, bareback of course. She seemed to orgasm while I was porking her, and was undoubtedly one of the best lays I had ever had in Thailand. Prospects were looking good.
The next morning, as I gave Kik a lift back to her room on my motorcycle. She requested a detour to the Buddhist temple opposite my condo, where she spent a few minutes consulting with one of the priests. I was mightily impressed by this, having never seen a bargirl visit a temple after a night of indulgence in vice such as we had enjoyed.
So began what passes for courtship in Pattaya. I would visit Kik regularly, barfine her regularly, but not every night. Some nights I would take another girl from somewhere back to my very spacious and quiet condo, with commanding views of both Pattaya and Jomtien. Naturally I was aware that I was quite a catch for some bar girl, and having played the field almost every night for about 2 years, I felt in need of a sabbatical. Hence the desire to establish myself and Kik as an item.
After I don't recall how long, maybe a month, I finally announced to Kik that she proved herself worthy of becoming my girlfriend. She was to move in with me, stop working at the bar, and we could then commence the well worn second phase of Pattaya relationships, "playing house".
Kik did as requested. She was not a housekeeper nor a cook, but she was a girlfriend. We porked enthusiastically every night for about a month, until the inevitable happened, I announced that I no longer required a girlfriend, and Kik could move out and go back to her former existence.
No great drama accompanied her move. Kik simply took her things and moved back to her rented apartment in South Pattaya. She admonished me to be careful while fxxking whores, and I went back to my previous routine of barfining her regularly, while enjoying the fun and games that were on offer in other parts of Pattaya.
Of course Happy A Gogo was off limits to me in terms of taking girls, but Kik never suggested nor even hinted that my whoring activities should cease. For my part, I found her more exciting as a young whore who did Happy lesbian show (accompanied in those days by the immortal "Unbreak My Heart" performed by Toni Braxton).
I would occasionally take her on trips to Bangkok, once to Boracay for the annual windsurfing competition, but basically things went on in the semi detached mode, for another few months, then I got her to move back into my condo. Following that, I moved to another condo in Wongamat, on the basis that the best wind in Pattaya blew there. I found a good 3-bedroom condo in a very well managed place on the beach, and Kik moved with me.
At this time, we decided she should go back to school, so I was expected to drop her off and pick her up from the nearby adult education center in Naklua. She even had a school uniform: from lesbian showgirl to schoolgirl, what more could a man want?
We would sometimes go out on the town, indulge in some illegal substances, but never out of control. New Year's Eve 2000 saw us partying with pure coca extract and some friends in my condo, followed by a drive down to Marine for the post countdown party.
One night, Kik feeling bored, said, let's go up to Naklua Road and barfine a lesbian show girl from one of Happy a Gogo's many branch operations. I readily agreed and a great time was had by all. Shortly thereafter, I went on home leave, leaving Kik with a small wad of cash to cover her expenses while I was away, and I think around 2000 baht.
While I was away, I did not even think to call Kik, living alone in my big condo. I simply assumed that she would be there when I got back.
2 weeks passed. I arrived back to an empty condo. None of my things were missing, but Kik had left, leaving only an old hair comb behind. I picked up the comb and wondered what significance it had.
I went back to her old apartment. She was there, on the phone obviously to some farang. I burst into tears. I saw immediately that I had lost her. She said, if you had just called me once while you were away, I might have stayed. I did not beg her to come back. I saw that my own hubris and lack of sensitivity had done me in. I also saw that Kik had made up her mind.
Following that emotional encounter, I tried to needle my way back into her life. She accommodated me where possible. Her new beau lived in Switzerland, so I could now play the role of phua chao bahn or local boyfriend.
But her mind was made. Finally, in desperation, I offered her 100 – 200 hundred thousand baht not to go to France. She said calmly to me "I don't want your money".
Humbled by this response from her, dutifully I assisted her in the process of obtaining a visa and even delivered her to the airport on the night of her departure.
The final night in the airport hotel, Kik announced she wanted to have sex all night. I was too emotionally drained to indulge in any such nonsense, and merely slept before the early morning departure.
I drove back to Pattaya like a maniac, so much so that my computer game fan friend said, wow, that was better than any computer game.
Cut to roughly 6 or 8 months after Kik's departure for France. She was back! Some of her friends informed me they had seen her alone in Marine Disco. I think Kik may have called me to inform me she was back in town. She had come back on a girlfriend salary, which she honored. I never saw nor even got a whiff of her playing around behind her Swiss guy's back, except with me of course, because I was the phua chao bahn. But even this was done in moderation. She never nagged me for anything, and now I was getting it free because the boyfriend was supporting her. Truly she was a model of moderation and level headedness.
One night, after a particularly passionate love making session in her apartment, I spent the following night whoring, barfining a girl from one of the Happy A Gogo branches. No doubt word of this indiscretion reached Kik, who turned up the next morning and noted the condom in the trash in my bedroom. I lied to her, saying I used them for masturbation, which she rightly scoffed at. This is the only time she ever showed a hint of jealousy or resentment at my whoring ways. This despite the fact that a couple of girls who I knew told me that they had encountered Kik crying on the steps of some disco after seeing me going off with some strumpet.
But I must confess, I was an emotional wreck during this period. Of course I was happy to have Kik around during her breaks from Switzerland, but when she was away, many was the dawn that saw me playing Portishead's "Roads", certainly the saddest pop song I know, and one of Kik's favorites.
All of this has been buried by years of drug addiction and a destructive relationship with a girl that fits the pattern so often described in these submissions. Yet even now, reliving it, tears come to my eyes. I knew that I discovered a diamond and had discarded it like a piece of rubbish. Of course I exaggerate. Kik was not perfect, but she was damn certainly many times better than I deserved, and I was fantastically lucky to stumble across her. I was filled to overflowing with regret, a dangerous condition. Only now, some 12 years later, do I feel that am emerging from that abyss.
Recently I found Kik on Facebook, sent her a friend request. No response. Probably for the best.