It all started in April 2013, when I met a girl from Nan province on ThaiFriendly (TF). After the first contact on TF we quickly started to communicate on Line and Skype. It
seemed that we had sympathy / affection for each other and also had, in the beginning, some good conversation. She, at that time, was working as a purchasing manager for an electronics company in Bangkok. I was in Switzerland. I had to take care
of my Dad and my own business at that time and could not just run away.
She always made me believe how proud she was of her job and that she was working on her career. She would have her own money and all the like. I believed her.
We agreed to first get to know each other over the internet before meeting in real, wasting each other's time and money.
All went quite well until November 2013 when the first problem came up. She had excuses for not having time to talk or write. I had already fallen deeply in love with her, the beauty of this girl blew my mind. This I know today.
Her fine, petite look made we want to protect her, take care for her. What a bad mistake.
It was a rollercoaster with my feelings and today I can't really understand why I let this happen. Mails of affection alternating with completely ignorant mails, back to sweet words again. As I really was keen to get this girl, I kept trying desperately to stay in touch, while she was now really playing her game.
Today I know that she travelled to the States at the end December, 2013 to check out another guy. She must already have known this in November or before as she would have had to prepare for the trip, needed a visa and so on.
However, I never knew about this until mid June, 2015.
Until May 2014 the relationship was really difficult. I really thought about breaking up, when she emerged again in my mailbox as well as on TF, asking me if I still was looking for a Thai girl.
The shit began all over, but not much better. On May 15th 2014, I sent her my best wishes for her birthday. All the crap of "I love you", miss you so much and the like came back. Except two new things. When I asked her if she told her parents about us, she answered clearly with yes. She asked me, "What do you give me for my birthday?". I could not give here anything yet, as I was still in Switzerland. I thought this was the reason why she behaved strange after that.
Well today I know better. This was 8 days before she left to the states to live and get married with the guy she checked out in January.
The whole story would not be worth losing a word about if she has told me in December 2013 or January 2014 that she was going to the States and that she plans to go there in May and live with a guy.
After that visit communication was again difficult, however she was frequently on TF again.
In mid June 2014, she sent me a mail, telling me, "I'm go to out Thailand to training a few month, don't worry see you soon". I thought, wow, that's it, finally she wants to meet. I was a fool.
At that time she was already in Boston, living with the other guy.
She did keep this whole US thing secret and hidden, until I found out the hard way.
In April 2015 she turned up again, wishing me a great Songkran.
At the same time my Dad was not really well. I had to take care of him. So I was not really putting too much attention on the girl. I kept in touch, but tried not to be pushy.
At the end of April 2015, my Dad passed away.
On May 15th 2015 was her birthday and I sent here a birthday card….read her answer!
Darling
Thanks you very much ,
How are you ? miss you so much
Everything okay now ?
At the beginning of June I felt it was time to find out where I stood with this lady. After that Songkran mail, her deepest condolences, her commitment that she would miss me so much, thinking about me always and the like, I wanted to clear things. I was to make her mine finally. Now I would have the time to get her to me.
I don't know why but by accident I Googled her and I was puzzled at what I found. Since 2011 she had had a Facebook profile. There I found all the pics of her journey to the States, as well as the dates which she posted. There were profiles on YouTube, Google+, with comments on movies and so on. This girl must have heaps of time to do all this.
I was shocked. All that time I had trusted her, never doubted her, but she deceived me. She played a dirty game, double crossed me all this time, making me look like an idiot!
I don't know any Thai yet, so I had to use Google translate. It was obvious that she went to meet that guy in January 2014. She met her in-laws early June 14 and so on. There were tons of images of her at parties in Boston. It was clear that she was socially already well integrated over there, obvious that she had lived there close to 14 months already. There seemed to be quite a big Thai community there.
So this is that "I'm go to out Thailand to training a few month, don't worry see you soon". Except the meet you soon. I wonder what kind of training that was.
Now it was on me to approach her with the truth. I had come to know a completely different girl, very cold and trivial. Her answer to my first approach was a three-liner, ending all this.
I'm never ever talk with people 3 years. Never met never help me
I'm do an go anywhere I'm want stop to follow me
Life it real not dream okay
All the mails I’ve sent her since, she calls stupid, but never answers a single of my questions.
Now that really made me mad. She would not answer any questions. She was just to admit what I found on here Facebook page. After knowing that she deceived me so unscrupulously, I wanted to know the whole story. I've started to research here Facebook page as well as the other profiles, those who commented on images, and where those images were taken that finally led to what I think is the truth.
After I confronted her with her Facebook page and asked her to add me as a friend, she simply blocked me.
She flew to the States on December 31th 2013 for about a week or two. (Image of her in front of her new home)
She moved back to the States on May 23th 2014 or so (family picture at the airport in BKK) in the profile of her sister.
On all those images, her guy never appears, why not? All the other pictures of her at parties and a picture of a guy near her once in a while. She wore a diamond ring in one of them and so on. But never a picture of her close to the man, showing any affection.
But one day, she had friends invited to her house, that girl posted images of that invitation. On them it was then clear, that this guy is her man. There are images of life situations that speak for themelf.
After that, I dug some more in to those profiles and finally found enough images speaking a clear language.
I wrote to her about these facts and sent her some of those images. She finally admitted that she was already married by now. I don't really know if that is true, but I can think it is. She would have problems with her visa after all this time. However, she’s so busy posting photos of her new, shiny life on Facebook and letting the world know how great she did.
But there is no image of her wedding ceremony so I guess this has not yet happened. Or the pics are only visible to friends.
That she decided herself for another guy is OK with me, but the way she behaved with me is ridiculous.
I am sure her guy does not know about me either. I bet she keeps all this secret from him, like she kept the whole US trip and the guy over there secret from me.
I really don't know what is wrong with a woman who behaves like this, but it is clearly not right. My European mind can’t understand such behaviour. In the end, this is what really makes me furious.
Imagine, how can one possibly trust someone that has secrets.
How is she going to raise her children? What values will she teach them? Is she going to teach them to deceive, to scam? I have doubts that she will teach them to be straight, honest and open.
Thank God, this is not my problem no more. That can only lead to huge problems inside a marriage.
One last thing.
Whenever you get to know a Thai girl online, make sure you check if she has a Facebook profile. Go through it and also through the profiles of her friends.
I’ve experienced that nowhere in her profile nor in the profiles of her close friends is there any picture of affection with their husband or partner. They also all hide their friends list.
Where as others not so close to her have profile images with their lovers showing real affection.
To me, that says a lot. There are girls that feel real love and affection and they really show it. They don’t show a trivial, shiny world. They have images of their families, and so on FB and they don’t hide their friends list.
While my lady and her friends don’t get tired to show off the wealth they live in, they pretend to life a carefree, shiny life.
I can’t believe that such partnerships will last a lifetime. There is simply not enough essence to it.
Maybe this is the difference between real lovers and gold diggers. By the way, all these girls seems to have a university degree, which I tend to believe may not be real.
There are quite some Thai girls that degrade themselves to become Barbies once they have their rich man. Nice clothes, proper makeup and showing off what they apparently own and of course, their kids.
I told the girl from Nan that in my opinion she has completely lost face. She was to have her own career and money and is now just another one of these Barbies. Her job is being a non working wife, completely depending on the money from a rich man, desperately hoping to become pregnant as soon as possible so there will be some real value to her life. She must be bored that she has all this time to watch all those TV series and comment on them on YouTube or Google+.
In the long run it won’t be enough to sit on a nice veranda having a cat to look after and being ready for the needs of here man.
This girl may pretend to be the perfect wife, may play the role well, but for how long will she be able to hide the real face? Make your mind up about her. To me, honesty is an absolute must to succeed in a marriage. But the truth is not really her thing. I bet she will go on with those little secrets.
Stickman's thoughts:
I feel your pain, but at the same time we have to put this in perspective. You never met this lady and that makes it kind of hard to feel there was every a relationship. Sometimes it's best just to walk away. When you dig and dig and look for answers, you are being a victim.
Walk away and get on with enjoying life. Forget this woman.