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10 Myths About Mongers (and their Thai Bargirls) – Part 1

  • Written by Anonymous
  • August 5th, 2015
  • 10 min read



Pure Bangkok Escorts




Myths, opinions, generalisations… and how to perhaps ease your way through the mire… A light-hearted review of Stick’s recent editorial: 10 Myths About Thai Bargirls.

As with Stick these comments are just my opinion… but they are also based on some form of ‘fact, otherwise known as personal experience’… although they have rarely been repeated by me, and certainly not ad nauseum… I’ve always tended to start with the premise that someone is telling me the truth, until I have discovered that they are likely to be ‘lying’ – i.e. ‘economical with the truth’… It’s too easy to start with the belief that someone is invariably lying because, that way, relationships of any kind, however superficial, can never be founded.

The problem with all myths, opinions and generalisations is that they are never likely to be accepted as ‘true, incontrovertible facts’… even when they are – if they are… because many accepted ‘facts’ are oft considered to be false. Some people still believe no human being has ever walked upon the Moon, for example… so I feel there are degrees of facts. At one level it can be agreed by most that the Earth is not flat, and rotates around the Sun while, at the opposite extreme, few of us will believe a bar-girl when she says: “I go with you… Tonight free…

And yet… and yet… several readers/writers on this site have claimed that bar-girls have willingly gone to their home, provided a service of some kind, and not only not requested payment, but have also declined any offer of payment. Is this a myth…? A downright lie from a guy wishing to boost his self-image…? Did I imagine it…? Is it so unlikely that, even if just one guy asserts this ‘fact’, it is shot down in flames by all those who have simply never had such an experience, and thus feel disinclined to believe…

I once came across a lady walking slowly homewards (as was I) after the bars had closed. We knew each other, and had often chatted. She was very attractive and sexy (in my view) but was dark-skinned, tended not to assert herself, and thus had few customers. After a month or two she was bored with her present life, which wasn’t going the way others had previously assured her it would. She demurely made me an offer, and we had a very pleasant night together. In the morning she was in no hurry to depart and accepted tid-bits from my fridge, and we lay, chatting and cuddling, until late-afternoon when she quietly asked permission to go home, to change and ready herself for the ‘early shift’. I took her home and discreetly offered her the usual fee for ‘long-time’…

She jumped away from me, almost into the back seat, crying: “Urh!! Mii satang doo-eh…!?” (‘What! I get paid as well…!?’). I happened to proffer the money in two notes. She slowly took one, thanked me with a polite wai, left the other note in my hand, got out of the car and, as if on a sudden impulse, ran around to my side, actually dived through the open window and, with her feet off the ground, and her arse presumably on display to the astonished townsfolk of Hua Hin High Street, gave me such a kiss I’ve never forgotten… A few weeks later she was taken out of the bar and, although I’ve since seen her a couple of times with her beau, she has never returned to the bars – at least, not in Hua Hin… And I’m very happy for her.

I have heard guys tell of how a bar-girl has turned up at their home in the middle of the night looking for… What…? A quickie, a cheapy, a peaceful night… a hot shower… etc., etc…? Whatever the reasons given, and however little you can take these at face value, the ‘fact’ remains such incidents, however rare, are not entirely myths… I have received two such visitations myself. Both ladies claimed they were lonely. One was a bar-girl who was (I suspect) too forceful in her manner, and put guys off, the other was an ex-bar-girl now living locally with a farang who was ‘unable’ to fully satisfy the poor lass so she had slipped out one evening, to attend an ‘all-girls’ birthday party (allegedly), but had instead ‘come up to see me’…

Now here’s another myth… if you can believe it… ‘No Man Will Ever Turn a Lady Away From His Bed…!’ However, I did just that. The first of these two visitors was distraught about a problem ‘back home’. I chatted with her for an hour or two and, somewhat more tranquil, she returned to her own room. The other one, who was a nice woman, but with no understanding of actions/reactions, let alone repercussions… was sent packing…

Stick-Myth #1 Thai bargirls are there against their will.

Around fifteen years ago I also heard ‘stories’ about some bar-girls from very poor areas having been ‘sold’ into the business by parents. During conversations (not superficial chats) with over 200 bar-girls during the past dozen years I also have never heard any of them suggest this had happened to them.

However… there is a less than honourable side issue to this myth in that many ladies arrive in the bars having been encouraged to the point of almost being forced. That is to say most bar-girls have friends, neighbours and/or relatives back home who are ex-bar-girls (or still practising) and, whenever a young lady has bemoaned her fate (disappeared husband, kids to bring up alone etc.), she has simply been told to get herself down to the ‘flesh-spots’ and grab a farang, or two… or even a dozen if they have it in them.

They are told how incredibly easy this is and, even if they have no such licentious inclinations, they tend to feel obliged to at least give it a try – some succeed – many do not. But… those who fail are often unable to return home without losing face. And even if they manage to get their hands on a ‘rich farang’, and set off to farang-land, they often find the guy is not as rich at home as when on holiday, and the money they are able to send back to Mum often isn’t quite as much as expected. It always strikes me as sad that people often have ‘Great Expectations instead of ‘High Hopes’…

Some farang work back home and save up for ten or eleven months of the year to finance their holiday in Pattaya, where they spend whatever they have, and can easily turn a lady’s head. Now, of course, his savings are depleted by the stipend to his wife and, when he wishes to return to Thailand he has to pay for two flights, and for some guys it can become too much. Sometimes they only holiday on alternate years (which creates greater tensions for any lonely visitor to farang-land) and sometimes the lady returns on her own – leaving the guy back home wondering ‘What Just Happened…?’

One rather delightful lady, who was 43 when I met her ten years ago, was taken away by a very quiet, gentle Scandinavian guy who, by all accounts, took good care of her but… he was no more affluent than many of us, was now paying his wife’s living expenses, as well as sending a little home each month, and only by dint of very frugal saving was he able to afford for the lady to fly home each winter – and his own long-haul holidays came to an end.

Worse than this, each year this lady comes first to Hua Hin, to visit her old chums… not because she is so keen to see them but mainly because she is ‘afraid’ to go home empty-handed… She has little additional funds to spread around the village when she shows up there – and thus seriously loses face… and gets harangued by her parents for ‘failing in her duty’… Four or five nights in the bars might give her the little extra she ‘needs’…

I don’t think this lady is alone in having been effectively ‘forced’ out of her home and into exile…

Stick-Myth #2 There are 2 million prostitutes in Thailand.

Without wishing to be over-contentious it is often said that, ‘we all pay’…! Apparently in all male/female relationships men invariably ‘pay’ – one way or another… and, indeed, women also ‘pay’, but in a slightly different way. Any woman, anywhere in the world, her withholds her favours until certain financial criteria have been met (even if just paying a technician to put up some bookshelves) is, it could be argued, selling her body…

I have no idea how many (formal) prostitutes exist in Thailand, and don’t even care to debate such nebulous figures and, with so many part-time workers, how on earth can anybody say. I suspect Stick’s figures are better than most but, there is a wonderful routine by Billy Connolly discussing a recently revealed statistic that 43% of men masturbate at least once a week. Regardless of ‘the truth behind the myth’, Billy simply asks: “How do they know? Everyone I ask denies it…

Several years ago I was a regular in a particular bar in Hua Hin where I was acquainted with everyone who worked there, though not exactly, biblically… However, I knew which ladies ‘enjoyed’ their work, which ones wished they’d never set foot in the ‘bar scene’, and which were ambivalent… One day a group of young ‘do-gooders’ arrived – NGOs possibly. Men and women, they all looked younger than any of the bar-girls, and they drank cautiously as they endeavoured to determine: How many of the bar-girls were there under pressure. I heard the girls all reeling off the usual stories (disappeared husband; two kids to bring up alone; sick parents; new motorbike tyre; and even a sick buffalo that need to be replaced…) and the audience was lapping it up. Two of these noble parasites invited two of the girls to join them across the road for supper where, they were told, they would be able to speak freely…

After a few minutes I noticed a table beside them come free, and went across to eavesdrop… aware that the two girls slightly changed their demeanour, apparently because of my arrival. I was as discreet as a church mouse but couldn’t help but overhear the questions… which were quite banal: ‘Wouldn’t you rather be at home with your family?’ – ‘Do you like going with different men every night?’ – ‘Does your family know what you are doing here?’ – ‘Do you gamble with your earnings?’ and so on… The answers (as I’m sure you already know) were: ‘Yes.’ – ‘No.’ – ‘No’ – and ‘Never!’ – it is essential, when conducting surveys, or any kind of investigation, to know how to phrase the questions, in order to obtain viable answers.

And these rather pathetic busybodies went home after two days presumably thinking they had all the answers. I suppose, when you’re young, the world seems a simpler place, and easier to understand. The following day I asked the ladies why they gave ‘different’ answers to what they have told me. They grinned mischievously and claimed they merely said what they thought was expected… Very Asian…

That’s all folks… Pip, Pip.

Hua Hin Harry.

to be continued…