Thai Be, Or Not Thai Be
I am often bemused by some of the posts written on Stick's website. Is it me or does the modern Western man really believe that women's minds are variable from country to country? Do the many cultural differences in the world separate the female minds? Maybe it's our idealistic view of a foreign women's mind that is causing all this mind-blowing confusion. Do we just assume the assumed?
The fact is, if were to put all the women of the world in one place, within one week they would be a new world order created. Despite the cultural differences and language barriers between these cunning so and so's, there would be the new equivalent to a once shocking German dictatorship we all kindly want to forget. The fate of mankind would be sealed, the death penalty would be sentenced to any man for forgetting to put down the toilet seat after use. A truly horrifically shocking situation indeed!
So this now brings me back to the subject of the Thai / Farang relationship. Men approach these such relationships with the idea the Thai women are completely disconnected to the Western woman he is so familiar with. Wrong again. I have got news for you buddies, they all fricken wired the same way. Thai women are just more honest at being women than their western cousins – that's the difference.
In actual fact if you look at Buddhism and Thai culture closely you will discover that it is not that different from the Christian culture we once in the Western world strongly adhered too. It's almost identical. A lot of the Thai cultural values are the same as our great grandmothers would have strongly followed, especially in the roll of a wife. So that counts out religious barriers.
Now we're left with the language barrier! Language varies from country to country but it still human communication at the end of the day. It can be learnt and translated easily. So again that counts out language barriers.
So now we are left with the much misunderstood women's disconnection with men, which has plagued the human race since all time began. ("Yes, Eve, this is a dig at you for messing with that apple tree, you should have listened to Adam!") This is where the real confusion begins. Ooops! I think I may just have upset any female readers…
But is a Thai / Farang relationship really that confused? No not necessarily. It's just a matter of common sense human to human compatibility. Barriers are never permanent and therefore should be broken down with both parties gradually preparing a common ground. Easy yeah! Ok maybe not.
I have read lots of stories written on Stick's site, and indeed it's a very common, much talked about subject. But it seems to me that most men are at fault here… "Sorry readers and Stick, I know this will create a backlash but I gotta say it."
First of all these men are not making solid financial plans when they get involved in a Thai relationship. It's all good to blame these women when it all goes tits up and they end up broke, but these men must know the big majority of these ladies come from a poor background, and depending what money they can earn working, they are not gonna be able to bring much to the table. <Be carful about generalising. A lot of the Thai women involved with Western men these days are middle class and not from a poor background at all – Stick> Secondly, if men were to take time too learn Thai culture and learn what is expected from a Thai lady as a wife, then he could at least be prepared with some starting points to form a common ground.
My point here is if two people are prepared to forge out a workable, equal, sustainable relationship then nothing is unachievable. Playing the blame game is not the way, nor is letting cultural divide raise its ugly head, ignorance toward basic language skills. These are an absolute no-no. Let's be perfectly frank here, any man who is married, in a long-term relationship, divorced or even happily single, knows the reality here when it comes down to women. As much as we like to romanticise about the love thing, if you really take a good look at your relationship from the outside then you pretty soon see in a lot of ways actually how disconnected you both really are. Now I'm not saying that this is good or bad, but it shows especially in long lasting relationships that a common bond, somewhere or something has held it together for this long. As long as both are aware of this common ground, that's the cement holding together the relationship.
You will often hear it said about comparing man / woman relationships, dogs can only bark and a cats only meow which is true to some extent, but in my opinion, this communication problem which often puts a block on cross cultural relationships already exists in our own Western culture!
They say love has no boundaries, maybe so, but it should be the building blocks for any relationship between a man and a woman. Find the right woman regardless of any differences, and forge ahead at full steam. Forget any misconceptions about trying to get into a woman's mind – every man who has ever tried has failed miserably.
So on that note I would say to anybody thinking of a cross-cultural relationship, be realistic with your common ground possibilities and build everything else from there and prevent any further complications later on down the line. Set realistic goals as the relationship moves on and cement the common ground.
So let's sum up the facts:
1: All women are programmed the same! Regarding culture, race, whatever. Women are women.
2: Make sure you carefully plan your future finances. Don't go broke for the love of a woman. Enough said…
3: Learn about your future wife's culture. See if there really can be a common ground between both of you. Be realistic with your expectations of her as your wife.