Readers' Submissions

My Lao Love

  • Written by Zipsi.K
  • May 26th, 2015
  • 11 min read

This is my first ever post here so a little background about me. I'm 30-year old Asian guy and I travel to Thailand once a year. I'm not into gogo and bar things. My dating experience in LOS hasn't been very good. I met a 30-something girl with a job and can write and understand written English moderately. I chatted with her for 6 months and finally, I met her in July, 2013. She came with her sister (I expected it!) and she barely spoke with me in our 4-hour date to Koh Larn Island. She wasn't nervous but I learnt she can't speak English at all. She enjoyed our little date and left with a smile. We both lost interest and she never met me again and only chatted on Facebook once.

Back in December 2013 I found this 31-yearr old girl named Da from Vientiane on Facebook. She can't speak much English and can only write few words in English. I continued talking a few times a week in voice messages. But it was just friendly casual talk and I told her I'll visit her if I come to Laos. She appeared to be a party-loving girl and was extremely social and had lots of friends on Facebook. In April 2014, I went to Thailand for holidays and talked with her for an hour from Bangkok and told her I'd come to meet her in Laos after a week. During my trip, she called me few times asking when I was coming. I went north to Chiang Mai for a week and returned back to Bangkok and spent 5 days there. My visa was going to expire in 2 days and I was ready to go to Laos but at the last moment I changed my mind as I was a bit low on cash and the hot summer was putting me off traveling long distance again. I returned to my country and continued to talk with her once every few days. Some day in May, when I called her to her Laos number a guy picked it up and said she's his wife and sent me pics of her with him from her Facebook account. I actually saw some pics of this guy with her before and I thought he was her father as he was much older than her. But later I confirmed from her friend that he's her ex and she still meets him.

I continued to keep in contact with her and exchanged pics and voice messages every other day. She had already started sending lots of 'I miss you' messages. I learnt (from pics) and from one of her friend that she has a well off family and lots of sisters and they have a furniture business. It never occurred to me that she could be a 'working girl'.

This year I planned to visit Laos to see the country and also to meet her. So I came to Nongkhai this April and called her. She asked me to call her gay friend (he understands English well) and tell him the time I am coming and she'll come and pick me up from border. So the next morning I was ready to leave and was a bit nervous as I was going solo to a new place and had all those doubts how the world's poorest country would be. I crossed the border and she came with her gay friend and picked me up in her Toyota Camry sedan. She was just as pretty and beautiful as her pics, slim and sexy and didn't look 31 at all. I asked her where her home was and she said it's 25 km from the city. We stopped at some place for lunch and then she dropped me to my guesthouse. I didn't have a booking and I was lucky there was a room left. So she left and I said I'd call her in an hour after I had had a shower. After an hour I called her and she said to talk to her friend as she can't explain. I called him and he said her mom is sick so she can't come right now and said she'll come for dinner. It seemed normal to me and I spent my time walking to Patuxai and taking some photos.

Her gay friend called me around 9 PM and requested me to ask my hotel if they have 1 more single room available. I asked my hotel but it was Lao New Year the next day so all rooms were booked. I inquired at another guesthouse besides mine and they had a decent room available. She came around 9 AM with her sister and the same gay friend. I asked for whom they want a room for. He said it's for her sister and she'll stay in Vientiane the night. I told him my hotel doesn't have any rooms available but the next one does. He said they don't want to take it and it's ok.

So we headed for some restaurant for dinner. He was driving and I was sitting backside with Da. They were talking with each other in Lao and sometimes he tells me what they are talking about. After driving around a few restaurants for half an hour she took me to some expensive Ibis Hotel restaurant near my guesthouse. We ordered some fish, beer, fried rice and soup. She got up and took the keys from her gay friend and walked outside. I asked where she was going and he said washroom. I didn't bother and had beer with him and her sister. She came after 15 minutes and we took some pics together with her and her friend. She dropped me back to my hotel and she said she'll come tomorrow.

So next day was Lao New Year, I called her in morning and she said she cant come and have to take care of her mom and she'll come next day. I spent the day visiting That Luang, That Dam etc and enjoyed the afternoon getting drunk and throwing water. I said ok and thought its new year time and she might want to spend it with her family. Next day again I spent time cycling around the rest of the attractions and spent the afternoon drinking beer and throwing water. I had a great time but I was already missing her. Also, her ex bf also sent me a FB invite again which I refused. She didn't showed up in morning and I finally called her in evening only to hear the same excuse that mom is sick and she'll come tomorrow. I opened FB and her friend posted pics of her partying at the riverside with her ex and other friends. I was drunk and I got furious and called her and she started apologizing and started sending her 'upset and sobbing pics' and "I am sorry and I love you" voice messages. I didn't bothered and spent the last New Year's day next day.

After new year day, I got a call from her gay friend in evening that she's coming tonight to go to disco with me. She did showed up this time again with same gay friend and his bf. She started saying sorry as soon I took the front seat. While in Car, I asked her what's with her 'ex bf' and why she didn't showed up. She said something to her gay friend and he tried to explain me that her ex don't want her to meet any guy. She is done with him and he's just a friend. He told, her ex controls her old FB account (which is still in my friend list).

I asked her if she can go to Vang Vieng , LP with me. She talked with her gay friend in Lao and agreed to go up to Vang Vieng in her car. I agreed and she said we'll leave afternoon as she has to get her car serviced in morning for the trip. We went to some restaurant and had some beer and cracked jokes and talked for some time about each other. Than we went to some disco but it was very crowded and small. She took us to some other new disco she went for first time. As we entered I noticed it was some gay disco. But I didn't bothered. We drank and danced and her friend took some pics. After spending 3 hours and disco was about to close a guy we were handed over 1000 baht bill. Unfortunately I forgot to keep much cash and only had 250 baht. She asked me for money and I handed over whatever I had, her friends had nothing so she opened her handbag and paid the bill. Even after so many drinks she had excellent control over her and I was pretty drunk. She drove the car and asked me if I'm ok. She stopped across my hotel and hold my hands and helped me cross the road and hugged me goodnight. I was very happy that she came and things are going somewhere.

I called her friend next morning and he said she can't come and she has to take care of her mom. Again same lies. I stuck to my plan and went to Vang Vieng and Luang Prabang. I called her few times, shared pics during my trip and we stayed in touch. I returned after 6 days and checked in to a different hotel in Vientiane. I called her and she said she'll come in evening. But again she didn't came and said sorry when I called her. Next day called to her friend and I said I'm leaving to Nong Khai next day as I don't have anything else to do but can extend for few days if she can come. After an hour he called and said she can't come meet me everyday but can come to meet me tonight and pick me up from my hotel in evening. I waited but again she didn't come and when I messaged her she sent pics spending time with her girl friends at temple. I called her one final time and asked and she said she's not well and said sorry and handed over the phone to her gay friend. He said they're at some Thai Lao cultural festival and she's not feeling well so she can't come. I finally stopped talking and left to Nong Khai next day with broken heart.

She was still my FB friend. I talked to my expat friend living in Laos about all things that happened and also showed her profile, her ex and her friend's profile to him. To my surprise he told me these people are professional scammers and may be run a prostitution ring and are not Lao people but are Thai living in Laos and asked me to cease contact. They could have get into my room with hotel's involvement and steal my stuff etc. Suddenly that hotel incident came to my mind and why he had asked me for extra room. I spent no time and cleared all records of these people. She had sent hundreds of pics of her (not intimate pics), her family, sisters etc over the year and she also posts on FB. but I never ever thought she could do something like this. I really liked her and was trying to reason everything what my friend said to me. My brain was messed up and I was still finding it hard to believe.

No matter how much she tried to show herself as genuine she tried to get me in trap and I could be in deep trouble if all worked as they planned. I was sad and angry and was feeling stupid how I didn't understood it on the first night she met.

Almost one month has passed since this incident and my head is clear now but I still think of her sometime. I still think why she came to meet me 2nd time for Disco night and didn't tried to do anything (may be drug me or something). And why she didn't come to meet me again? May be she didn't liked my kissing (on cheeks) and touching her in disco and also may be because I didn't paid the full bill. May be she didn't liked me by appearance that much (I'm not charming. I'm average brown skinned guy) I don't know, I over think obvious things. I didn't dared to contact her again.

Apart from all these and despite my initial nervousness and doubts about Laos, It turned out to be opposite and really nice experience seeing Lao. I didn't expected I'll meet so many tourists from all around the world traveling in hot summer in this small laid back country. May be I'll visit it again in winters next time without any emotional burden.

by Zipsi.K