Why We’re Here
Since moving down to Phuket in 2002, I have heard this issue discussed time and time again. Myself, I had a nice business in Santa Fe, New Mexico, a very beautiful part of the USA, sitting at over a mile above sea level in the Sangre De Christo (blood of Christ) mountains. Really a beautiful place, America's oldest capital city with Adobe homes charming the Hispanic landscape.
I was 56 and earning over $200K per year with my own small business. But, it was a lonely existence with my only spice being to head to the big Indian casinos and gamble while looking for hot Asian ladies. Dating American women just had no appeal to me as it is an uphill climb for older men. Myself, having lived in Europe in my 20s, I could not surrender all the power required in relationships with women from my country of birth. In Europe the traditional male roles were an opener for me in 1967 at 21. Those guys were in charge. Nowadays I hear women's roles are more similar to how they are in the States.
I brought back a German bride in 1970 as that nation was not yet wealthy, still recovering from the Great War, and girls there aspired to get to the USA. Of course, with my lack of desire to be married, drug use, and promiscuity it did not last longer than the 5 years girls then needed for citizenship. She wisely got away from me and married my wealthy film teacher at the university we both attended.
And I got on with my quest to taste every beautiful woman I safely (and not so safely) could. I kept playing through my 30s and would walk on auto lots and sell cars until I saved enough to wander off again, looking for whatever it was I thought I needed.
In our 40s, sex seems to be a thing of the past where I come from unless one wants to commit. For whatever reason, I lack the chip for that as do many of my friends I have met in South-East Asia.
The lesson I have learned that as long as we are not lying or abusing people we can be ourselves and butterfly to whatever extent we can physically and financially manage. Here I learned there are many like me and many Asians as well. We have to be ourselves, if that means monogamous I say, "Good on ya, mate" as our Aussie friends might put such behavior.
But, there are some of us that are kind people and honest, who just can't do it and refuse to lead a life of quiet desperation wishing we could taste some variety.
We seem to not be able to sustain interest in just one woman. I know I have had some great ones enter my life and try to make it work. I am not alone. Last month I read that Jack Nicholson at 77 is not afraid to admit he still has that yearning for love we all have to varying degrees. He said all the women in Hollywood know he can't be plugged in, so he stays alone regarding that relationship thing.
So the journey goes on, the ladies come and go and I left Thailand nearly two years ago for the Philippines where relationships are hard to avoid.
For me it has been a good move, my life goes much easier in many ways. Asians understand the nature of men a bit better than seems to be the perceptions back in my Victorian homeland and its lawyers and victimizations.
The picture above was taken while the 19-year old sweetheart was sleeping in from a recent attempt at monogamy. I saw her in a bar, talked with her a bit and figured she was just fresh and remarkably kind along with insanely sexy and inexperienced. So I paid what is known as a bar share. It was thirty thousand pesos (I guess 24,000 Thai baht or $700). That means I never have to pay her barfine there again and she can leave the bar whenever she likes to go out. She hung around a couple of weeks and I began thinking of ways to get time to myself. So it went on for another week with my not paying, but thinking of ways out. I guess I got my money's worth, but doubt I will do that again. There are just too many really great lesbian girls who will come see me to support their BillyBoy (Philippines) or Tom (Thailand) other halves back in the room. Don't know about the rest of you guys out there experimenting, but I find lesbians to be the most in touch with their sensuality and much better in bed than straight ladies. That little small vibrating egg (AA batteries) really is a game changer and as they heat up so do we. One was here last night and I am still buzzing from the fantastic session. We do things here we could never afford back home, or rather would be unwilling to pay the prices there.
This is where I belong. Last time in Thailand I walked into the best bar with the girls speaking Thai sounding like chickens and honking geese. Unattractive ones walk up to me and read right away I am not buying them a lady drink, nor their friends. I really grew tired of the arrogance of the bargirls in Thailand. It changed in the decade I lived there more than I changed.
I find they are not so aggressive in the Philippines as they lack the financial drive of the Thais. Both countries seem to be getting chubbier girls, but there is always someone or someone's I can find interesting.
Here, if I meet them in a bar I pay the barfine that first time and if the fun is good, arrange for her to come when she is out of there.
No question in my mind we have to watch our cash outflow and it has been my religion since retiring over a decade ago. Once in a while we pay too much, not a big deal, but we do not get much more for overpaying. For me, girls in a relationship costs more than hookers.
Some very likely did not come here for the same reason as me, but many have. Maybe they wanted a wife at first, then perhaps after free from the western loneliness they may have changed their priorities.
As I turn 69 on Saturday, I am grateful for this life here in Angeles. Since I do not have the sex drive I once had, I look at other things to do and there is plenty. Here, as in Thailand, there is just more life! More human interactions than isolating in a big box watching TV back in the homeland.
Enjoy my friends, and thanks again Mr. Stickman for this forum for us to offer our opinions and to share our experiences, strength and hope. I know some will agree.