Stickman Readers' Submissions March 6th, 2015

Older Men Attracted to Smaller Women

I took some offense to your comments with respect to older men attracted to smaller women, liken it to them being "latent paedophiles (sic)".

Small, slim and young-looking is a favourite look for many older guys – and that's kind of creepy. What is it with old dudes who like small girls who look young? Why would anyone want to be with someone young enough to be their granddaughter? Why go for a 20-year old when there are plenty of 30-year olds who have more about them, who you can actually talk with and who will almost certainly make for a much better bedroom experience. What's wrong with a 30-something like Nina, girl of the week, 30/11/2014? I've never been able to get my head around this thing some older guys have for small-framed girls who look young. Is it a manipulation and control thing? Are they latent paedophiles?

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As far as the age difference thing, that I at least understand. As one gets older one looks back at one's life and thinks what if I knew then what I know now back when I was 20 or so years old. Also there is a sadness after a certain age after the realization kicks in that with each passing day there is one fewer day ahead of us. For many men, being with a younger woman makes us relive the excitement of being young again. I've been there done that but don't go there anymore for my own reasons. And I am in no way attracted to underage girls. I firmly believe that what consenting adults behind closed doors do is no one else's business. Underage woman/girls cannot give consent.

I should probably introduce myself. I am a 53 year old American. Average looking to slightly ugly. Through a combination of luck and skill I have been wildly successful in my professional career. Conversely for the same reasons I have been wildly unsuccessful in my person life. When I was younger, I always assumed I would settle down, marry and raise a family. Until I was about 40, I was a serial monogamist. For whatever reason I was always attracted to women with issues, either psychological or in some cases substance abuse. Maybe it was the white knight syndrome maybe it was just the excitement of being out there with someone that was out there. I always walked away before the alter as I retained enough common sense to see how this would end (very badly). I'm not one of those that hates western women just because I have been unsuccessful with them. Anyway, about 13 years ago after much soul searching I stopped trying as I realized the problem was not them, it was me. I don't wear my relative wealth on my sleeve as that's not who I am. If you met me in person, I suspect you wouldn't suspect that I am quite well off.

Anyway, male urges need some release. I started dabbling in the pay for play (P4P) scene in the US, Canada, Germany, Japan, China and later Thailand. Did I mention my professional career allows me to travel globally for my work at will or during my generous time off pretty much also at will? Well it does. Anyway, I started dabbling in the German FKK scene. For those that don't know, a German FKK charges between 50-70 Euros entrance and there are between 10 and 100 women walking around in various states of undress (from lingerie to full nude) attempting to attract customers. To go to the room for 30 minutes with a woman costs 50 Euros, Anyway, I made friends with a number of the other customers and they were always surprised that I didn't focus on the classical beauties, tall, thin, blonde, big breasted, beautiful faces, usually from Poland, the Czech Republic, the former Soviet Union or Romania. For a variety of reasons I ended up going with women that my friends considered "fugly". For me it was the spark of attraction, every one of them had something that attracted my attention, a small curve of the back or the hip, a turn of the nose or even the sound of their giggle when they approached me trying to convince me to go to the room with them. Each and every one of them pushed my buttons in ways I can't describe and that you wouldn't understand.

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In 2006 I "discovered" Thailand. At first, I "short timed" everyone that moved. Since I don't seemed to be hard-wired to select only the most classically beautiful woman, Pattaya was perfect for me. As long as I felt the spark. I started traveling to Thailand four times a year for a total of nine weeks a year. I should mention during my serial monogamy days two of my great loves of my life were a half Chinese woman (at the time, I expected and hoped to settle down with her, marry and raise a family) and a full blooded Korean woman. Both ended badly, for reasons described above. For what ever reason I am hard-wired to be attracted to Asian women.

Since then, I have fallen for three Thai women in the P4P scene. One found another man who was prepared to make a long term commitment to take care of her and her family (I wish her and her family well). The second was a textbook bad girl, with the Thai boyfriend behind the scenes. Neither caused me undue financial damage beyond the expected compensation for P4P activities. The third, well, she did cost me a little over 150K baht above and beyond what was normal compensation. I consider I got a life lesson and I got off cheaply (150K Baht is walking around money for me) and the lesson needed to be learned.

Anyway, the woman that took me for 150K Baht was 33, about 144cm and around 39 kilos. I'm 188cm and about 100 kilos. Yes we looked kind of ridiculous in public together, but I really didn't care. Anyway, for whatever reason I have always found myself attracted to women much shorter than myself. I just assume through some sort of quirk of genetics that was the way my brain was hardwired. With the exception of the Korean woman, every woman I have fallen for in my life has been 162cm or under. The Korean woman that I fell for was/is 170cm but had a chest that was flat as an ironing board. She had a beautiful face and I suspect most men would be proud to have had her on their arm (not that should matter much). Although I guess some could speculate my being attracted to a woman with a flat chest could be because I am a "latent paedophile (sic)"

Tying it all together, for whatever reason, I have always been attracted to women much shorter than I am, In the same way I am attracted to Asian women (or flat chested women), I just assume it is a quirk of genetics. Your assertion with respect to men attracted to shorter women is just plain insulting and uncalled for. <Please don't misquote me as that is not even remotely close to what I wroteStick> Think of it this way, some men are attracted to other men; some women are attracted to other women. We can insult them by calling them fags or dykes or we can understand where they are coming from and wish them the best in their person and professional life. To do otherwise is to be a bigot. I have both gay men and lesbian women on my staff. I sincerely wish them well in their personal life. Both for reasons of self interest (a staff member happy in their personal life is likely more productive) as well as it is just the right thing to do, I am very happy if they are happy.

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If you really want to talk about the age differential issue among many Thai-falang couples, I'm happy to give my thoughts at length. But with respect to the height differential issues, I respectfully request you "grow up" and take a less bigoted position and learn more tolerance of others. Try and learn to be a little less judgmental.



Stickman's thoughts:

You have misquoted what I wrote. To copy exactly what I wrote, "Small, slim and young-looking is a favourite look for many older guys – and that's kind of creepy."

Let's be really frank here: The vast majority of people find it creepy when they see an older in the company of a small, slim, young-looking girl – and the young-looking part
is VERY relevant. I am not one man going against the grain here and my comments are representative of most people. Outside of sex tourist circles and bar districts, it's considered creepy – or worse – and even within sex tourist areas people
DO comment on old guys with young-looking, small, slim ladies – and believe me, it's seldom nice words said!

When you say, "Your assertion with respect to men attracted to shorter women is just plain insulting and uncalled for", again, you're completely misquoting me. That is not what I said at all. You replaced small and slim with short (which is something different and refers to height only), chose to leave out young-looking and also neglected to include old to
describe the men which, again, is relevant.

I was not talking merely about age gaps in relationships or height – those are different issues. I was talking about a small, slim and *young-looking* girl with an old guy. You missed the point completely. When one says young-looking, they may have used that term because they are unclear about the person's age, meaning the lady may or may not be of legal age – and that is a real concern.

To make a point I have made in the past and one I know upsets some, I strongly believe that 18 is too young for ladies to be working in the bar environment, especially in the case of young Thais who may have been sheltered and may not be as mature as other 18-year olds. The absolute minimum should be 20, in my opinion. And I think that anyone, regardless of age, who uses the services of a sex worker who is young-looking and who may not look to be of legal age has to expect that people are going to look and make comments that they might find uncomfortable.

I enjoy discussing points I have made in my weekly column and am always happy to explain anything that is not clear but please do not misquote me or say I said things which I certainly did not.

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