11 Years Faithful, Now With Mia Noi

I’ve come across this site occasionally in Google and on forums, but had little to share. I’ve been here well over a decade. I didn’t come to Thailand for any reason that is common to most visitors. I came with a friend who was adopted by US missionaries as a baby to reunite with his family here. I spent 3 weeks in the sticks not knowing Thailand was even a country people came to for tourism, that there were beaches here, a sex trade or anything else. I knew nothing. But I fell in love with Isaan life and settled in here in my early 20’s.

This is my story of a recent first time bargirl experience, to then ending up with a small wife. The two women are not the same. Perhaps the background makes this interesting.

I've been happily married for almost 11-years. Until recently, I had never once in my life paid for sex. Getting an unexpected handjob at a massage place on a single occasion is the closest I had ever previously come to cheating on my wife. My marriage is still great. My wife takes excellent care of our daughters, cooks, cleans, runs errands etc. She manages our money, and does it very well with y everything accounted for. (Note: I came here with nothing young, we have money but all of it was earned was while she was my wife). Also, sex is outstanding still after almost 12 years with her but it had fallen in to a frequency of once every 6 – 10 days. This is less than I'd have liked but it is good when we have it, and from kids, running the house, etc I can see her tired when time for that comes.

So why does a happily married man cheat? Because most males here do. There are ones I know who do, ones I assume who do, and none I feel confident about who don't. In cases where their wife doesn't approve most often all that happens is a fight. It all gets talked about pretty casually here. One example I saw was a woman crushed to find out her husband of 20 years had another wife. They have teenage children, make good money etc. She was getting a lawyer to sue for divorce. A few months pass and now it is just accepted that he has two wives and when we see them together it looks like all is fine. I mean I could go on with examples, but cheating in level of seriousness here, is the equivalent in the west of oversleeping and forgetting to pick up your wife. She’s pissed but gets over it.

So hormones, the low risk of getting caught, and if one does get caught that probably doesn't end it, led me to contemplate joining most the rest of the population here. I was nervous because I seriously do really love my wife and children and I never cheated on my wife.

I decide about a few months okay, I'm going for this and did at the first opportunity. My wife had a funeral to go to and I stayed home, getting 1 night / 2 full days alone.

So what's my plan? I have no idea. I spend 3 hours messing around with dating websites with no luck. I decide no way is this going to work, no-one here is looking for a hook up, they are trying to rope in husbands. Keep in mind I live in Isaan so there isn’t a high number of foreigners living in their town showing up in match results. That was not working…

I jumped in my car and decided I was determined to hook up with a normal women. I drove all around the city roaming markets, malls, etc. I even hung out outside a ton of 7-Elevens making eye contact with any women alone regardless of looks, then came out and lit a cigarette (sometimes two) so it looked like I was just outside having a cigarette, and then looked for eye contact again, as they exited. Well none of that shit worked!

I'm now running very low on time. But then I see a nightclub and the street is loaded with women. I end up just parking and walking up and down that street. Very few looked at me, most looked eager to get home. Many ended up heading to their husband or boyfriend's car who had left ahead of them. Ugh, okay I have no luck. Driving away I saw some chick going into a 7-Eleven.

I pull into the parking lot and get out of the car when I hear a females' voice (a different one, the other inside) say Kaaa as in a saying hello tone. But I wasn't looking at her and didn't notice her. I look up right at her and she's looking at me, but I have no idea if she just was talking to me or not or is looking at me because I am standing right next to her and just looked at her. Well she's sitting on a motorbike another Thai women is driving and they are with two Thai males. I decide must be far more likely she was talking to them, I heard this, made eye contact, and that's why she is looking at me. So I take a long time in 7-Eleven.

When I exit they are all still there. But at this point I see the one she is with is talking to these two guys, and she doesn't seem at all interested in talking to them. So I go to my car and smoke a cigarette and hope the guys leave. LOL it took 3 cigarettes before they did, even though it sounded like were saying goodbyes the entire time. But as they left, so did the two women on their motorbike. I was like damn, nothing to that. Threw the third cig down, got in the car and started to drive away. Well, here is the other girl now alone pulling back into parking lot on a different motorbike. She is at the other end. I end up driving to her and just saying – excuse me do you work at a bar? LOL she has no idea what I am saying. No English at all.

I can understand spoken Thai almost entirely. But the thing is, I spent most my time here living deep in the sticks and the dialogue is local. My wife had some crazy episodes learning to adjust to standard Thai and Isaan when she moved to this major Isaan city we’re now in (people just thought she was dumb in some spots and she’s a native Thai). I'm not comfortable talking Thai to strangers at all, but WTF no choice. So we end up talking in Thai and she's still having trouble understanding me, but I can mostly understand her. She says she works at a bar but has to be to work again at 8 AM. She is acting confused / nervous and starts telling me where to find her tomorrow. I am okay, you can't do now? I think she didn't understand or whatever but she then says in some sort of Isaan / English mix to the effect of: you want me go with you now? It took me a minute to process that is what she asked, but responded Krup, and she tells me to wait she'll be back. And zips off on her motorbike.

10 minutes have passed and I'm wondering if she is actually coming back or not. But she does and is with the other girl, who speaks English but not very good. The girl I was talking to I had figured for early 20's was very cute (had a tiny bit of weight to her, and I mean just a tiny bit) white skin, braces etc. The other was a dark-skinned lady in her 40's who was very drunk. I should note I guess both were dressed in clothes like they were working in a restaurant as servers, not a bar. The lady with her starts acting like her pimp, and me being new to this thinks okay, maybe she is. But she also seems really concerned. She asks if I've come to her bar before. I said no. She say this is my younger sister, she cannot go. This I actually think was legit, but I need to skip ahead.

Let me fast forward past the long discovery process. Again keeping in mind this is skipping ahead: much later after deeds all done, the story is that the woman is 28. She was a minor wife to the mayor of a village for 8 years. He finished with her. The women I'm talking to is her aunt, who owns the bar and her niece only came to work there 6 days ago. She is from Beung Kan and is first time in a city. Essentially to, yes, sell pussy to but at the bar only and no one can take her away from bar.

Okay, how much of their story above, who knows? But what I do know is this women was not used to kissing, blow jobs or affection. She could have been a veteran spread your legs Lao girl with this lady just making up the story, or maybe her story is legit, or part legit, who knows? But for sure-sure she is either an AMAZING actress or wasn't experienced with what I was there intending.

Ok, so let me rewind back. I skipped ahead to explain that long discovery process in less words. The woman I'm talking to says where you stay. I say nowhere need to get room. She says I can go with her, but she needs to come and will wait outside for her. I say okay she says we talk in car.

Driving there I ask how much and she says "up to you". As we're driving the woman I'm interested who was quiet to this point, looks at me smiling. When I look to her she says she seen me at two 7-elevens look at her but not talk, why? LOL I don't even remember this. When she seen me pull into the other 7-Eleven she thought it was for coming to talk to her because I guess I was making eye contact with her at the 7-Eleven down the road. That's why she had said Kaaa, the Kaaa wasn’t hello it was arai (a what’s up?) because I was following her. She found it cute anyways, that I followed her around looked at her but never talked to her. Then listened to her explain how I did that to the other while they chatted rest of the drive.

So we pull into bungalows, security covers my car up with a tarp, tells me 200 baht, and asks if I need condoms. We go inside. The one I'm interested in asks very quietly and nervously “you want two ladies?” I hesitate, shrugged and said okay, but her aunt wasn't in hearing distance and says okay I go outside. The other says: him two ladies. She is taken back and looks like she turned white for a second. Then asks her, we family, we can work together? They had an awkward moment giggling some and older one agrees.

Older one say okay two ladies! And smiles lifting my shirt a little take it off then undresses herself, and instructs the other to do same. I say okay how much? This second time have asked. She again says “up to you”. Then I say "free baaw" smiling and she laughs and says I don't know how much for two ladies. They stop and talk whispering about how much and are all giggling?. "She says for 2 ladies I don't know. 2,400 baht, 1,200 baht each – 2 hours. u okay?" I say yeah and give the older one the money. She hands it to the other and says I give for you, you keep and get apartment tomorrow (that was just me overhearing – she had said that very soft).

We’re then all naked. This ended up being HOT!! Turning to emotionally intense.

The older one was fit and with clothes didn't look like much but had a very nice firm body, no sag stuff going and nice breasts. The other was just gorgeous. She was so nervous though. She started with just laying hugging me. I tried to kiss her but she was shocked by it. I tried sucking her breast and her hands moved to protect them.

The older one kissed me passionately with tongue rubbed all over me, sucked ears and neck gave me her breasts and was all into it. Then she tells the other girl to change with her, but this girl responds asking back "you can do?" as in she doesn't want to.

LOL I don't know if forgetting I can understand or not they have interesting conversation from there. It was basically along the lines of, he wants you, not an old lady. You will never find a man same this in a bar, and he lives here. He looks nice, is shy, he speaks Thai, how can you possibly not like him? She says I do like him but I’ve never done this before. Where it gets hot is the experienced one who is doing awesome and I'm turned on as can be by her starts instructing her beautiful niece on what to do to me.

But then…

The one I like comes and gets on top of me, and our eyes meet and I hold her breast and just stare at her wanting to kiss her but she rejected my attempt to do so. It felt like one of those Thai soap opera man we should kiss but don't pauses LOL. It probably wasn't as long as it seemed, but it was intense and looked like she was looking at me considering it. Just this neat long awkward pause.

The pause was broken not by her kissing me, but by her breaking eye contact, moving my cock into her pussy and starting to ride me.

5 or 10 seconds, something like passes and I say no it is okay. Don't change. I pull her back to me and hug me. She says asks what is wrong and I say nothing. The other then goes back to work, and ends up sucking me while rubbing all over me while I laid with this other girl.

This still going on this girl asks, why I don’t want sex with her. I said because I like you. She got this cute smile and came in kissed me very sweat (no tongue – but a lot of lip) I smiled and she smiled and just looked at each other smiling. Then just as I'm getting close she leans in and starts making out with me intensely, and I squeeze her making out with her when the others mouth had got me to completion and orgasm was felt all over my body. It was extremely intimate feeling with massive orgasm at same time.

The girl I liked laid with me for a while after that, asking if I felt good, kissing me softly and chatting. Finally when we got up and cleaned up, and the two of us got dressed (older lady laid naked longer). We sat talking, I'm mostly talking with the older one. She asks where my wife comes from, I answer and we're talking about that. The other girl just out of nowhere lets out this massive ARGHHHH! Like in serious frustration sits on my lap and says why, can't I find you first. Why her; not me. Then I'm all like mostly chatting showing them Facebook photos my life etc. This girl looks and is saying essentially UGH to the other, then says okay stop not want to see, I sad you have wife.

So some more time passes and the one I like she asks me if I will come back. I said I don't know. She was acting sad, saying please. The other lady says she's not worked at a bar for a long time. Right now she is sleeping at my house, tomorrow money you give her tonight buys her apartment for rent. She can wait for you, she likes you really. Then jokes saying maybe because you two have same face. LOL all of us laughed, because we do have a couple similarities in that but w/e.

So anyways though, I’ve read about how guys run off with bargirls all the time, so am feeling this is like "the pitch". Just going through what should say. But at this point the aunt is done with conversation and near falling asleep. One I'm with says, I know you have wife, need to take care family. I don't have kids, don't have mother. My father I not need take car him have farm and is fine, I’ve never send him money before. I only need to take care me. 1 Person! I not need big money. I can be small wife, you want or not?

UGH head spinning at this point. How much? 4,000 one month come anytime – apartment 2,000 food and spend money 2,000 I not have to work bar. I not make problem your wife I like you really too.

I ask if she's asking for 4,000 now. She says no you give me 2,400 already. 2 more week 1,600.

So basically what is being said is I could have sex with her for the next 2 weeks with nothing more out of my pocket and give her 1,600 in 2 weeks and do that 2 more weeks!

But.. UGH. Cannot sorry. WHY? She, lets out in begging tone.

Then says okay tomorrow see me again free, please! I say I can't, maybe in a couple weeks, before then I can't get out. She says JUST ONE HOUR! smiling. Then says when: cannot do one hour, walk to me say hi one minute, and then go. Just give me see you again tomorrow even if only to say hi.

So anyways we leave it on maybe I'll come see her in next few days (are you sure? Nope, not sure). She then hangs out with me 5 more hours talking! The other passes out there while we just chat. Kiss, like it was so intense and felt awesome. (paid for 2 hours spent 7 – got offered 2 more weeks for that price).

For the 4 days that followed I couldn't get this girl out of my head. But at the same time I can't risk this. This would be amazing if it worked out the way she proposed, but WAY WAY WAY too much risk. My wife has never worked bars, doesn't know anything about them, but everyone knows someone or another that works in that specific section of rather small city we live. This feels like crack cocaine to me, because I felt like I just fell in love with a girl in one night and know this is more than I can get into. OMG my mind spun for days though.

Sooo how do I cure that? First extra sex with my wife. I was cleaning while she was sleeping to surprise her, making day easier etc. Sex the next night, she's tired but blowjob to completion the next. But….

Can I really get a minor wife for 4,000 baht per month? This is now in my mind.

I end up driving around the other side of the city going to markets and buying from any vendors that have reasonable looks. OMG I bought so many 10 baht vegetables, I just throw them away at the next stop LOL. This became my hobby for several days. Then I find one asks me if I speak Thai. I say a little. Asks where I come from. Why I'm shopping not my wife. etc. She's attractive but older.

I end up coming back and buying from her for each day (lettuce LOL). The 5th day she says you have wife why you come talk to me, you looking for kik? I just smile. I said first day I was near here and just bought because near. But live Thailand a long time and no one talks to me at markets, this first time. Now have nice looking lady talk to me a little, I like. So now I drive far come back to this market. But I love my wife and family, I don't know. She says, okay. Small talk on other topics and that mention left at that.

Next day (6th day) I return and she smiles and right away asks if I can eat near her or not? I say okay. She asks if I know anyone here, I say I don't think so. She says okay we go far. She tells me follow her at the parking lot but not give anyone see (she’s on motorbike I’m in car). We drive down several side streets to a small noodle shop and sit around the back. She tells me blunt, she works markets every day for 13 years, most weeks all 7 days. She works night market on weekends too. Some months makes 5,000. Many is 9,000, never more 13,000. Has one son who is teenager and father only. I can help her with money or not?

I say I'm not same farang have big money. I have wife family, kids go school, anything big money have to buy for family. She says to her 1,000 baht VERY big money. She understands. Never thought she could be lady farang will talk to before. Her poor Isaan lady, now 39 years old, husband die 13 years ago, work hard take care son and father. I say 4,000 one month all I have extra, really small. And I never do this before, I don't know. She says I promise I not make problem your wife, I not want her know. When can give me a chance I am so happy. I lonely too, we can have fun, enjoy. 4,000 help me make good life for my son. I ask if she has email, she does. I get that and say I am not sure but excited, I will think. Then I go home and create a new email address.

Doh! problem is I can't write Thai. So I make out writing that I can't write Thai in Thai but can read Thai so when he email me I can understand. She sends me an awesome message. Like she was all in role already and it sounded great.

She turns out to be incredible. She's attractive lady 39-years old. While together in small hotels (only place we meet up, but I do come talk to her for like 5-10 minutes while she works sometimes) we've went through each other’s mobile phones learning more about each other. Her on my Facebook and Line browsing, me on hers. I go see her briefly at work and she works a ton. I don't think there is any Thai guy around (I'd be shocked if was). All of her photos on Facebook involve either what she sells on the weekends, or temples. Tons of posts from temples, weddings, funerals etc. She has a nice body. She is super into me, kiss with tongue, rub against me, kisses neck and ears, cuddles.

Says thank you so much, I am so lucky can find you, has told me dozens times when want to finish with her please not worry, she is good lady goes to temple everyday and will never make problem for my life and family. This has been going on for 1.5 months. I talked with her saying don't want to blow her cover because understand her job someone doesn't have money to buy nice clothes, but gave her 900 baht telling her to buy better clothes she likes at same places but not have to be name brand any only buy what she likes, not worry about what think I like. (it is clear she was wearing cheapest could find) and then also gave her money for buying sexier bras and panties. The next time we met up both times she brought what she had bought and explained how much each was. (This isn't part of the 4,000 I'm giving her, but is what wanted to do). She hasn't yet asked for a cent ever. I gave her 2,000 the first time and said 2,000 more in 2 weeks, and did that twice. She thanked me a ton and hasn't said anything else.

So far this is all amazing. Perhaps because I'm feeling guilty, perhaps because I am not stressed about sex, but everything with my wife is perfect. I feel into my wife much more. The other day she says to me: she is glad I have a friend. That I work too hard for taking care of family. I can go out relax, She doesn't worry about what I do, and wants me to be happy and we are lucky people and good family. Then has amazing sex with me.

Now I have no idea what that meant, LOL. Because it did include "doesn't worry about what I do". LOL is that a she trusts me and I should feel guilty now, or was it a consent LOL. It really did sound like consent, but I honestly have no idea which it was.

I don't know if my wife is on to this or not. It of course always feels like she is, but I'm reading into everything. But so far at the moment my life is great.

Now back to the new minor wife. She had kept telling me how lucky I made her. I told her I'm not a good man for her. I like her but anything big I buy, buy car, buy house, send kid go university is all for my family. Never will be anything big for her from me. Lucky is find man can love only her. She says if she can find real husband yes we finish, but now she is old. 13 years no Thai man have any money, not even money small, ever looked at her before, only man poor and drunk look sex only and she doesn't want and she speaks no English for talk farang. She say really yes, when not have money she doesn’t have time for any boyfriend, but she is not prostitute. She likes me a lot because I help her. Whatever it sure feels good when are with her and everything from cute smiles, to being interested in talking etc. It feels great.

Towards the end of the conversation above, she said I hope your wife never knows about us then paused for a bit. Then said when I know your wife knows about us and is sad, I finish you first you not have to finish me. Family number one. I never be lady make problem someone's family. When karma doesn't come back to me, maybe it does my son. I not make problem anyone's family and not make bad for my family.

LOL the fact I believe she is saying that sincere and seems to be part of her inner core programming has me like practically falling in love with her too. That's however not healthy. This I'm thinking this can't last forever either. It has to end at some point. I'm probably going to need to figure out budgeting some severance for the future. I trust her, and do believe she won't make any problems. But one is just a nice thing to do, and second probably cuts down and small chances there are, that I leave her with a few months at end of this, and end it compassionately, but cutting off all contact period at that point.

But I’m nowhere close to the point of wanting this to end. If I could have my wife know about her and be cool, I'd be in heaven right now. But there is no scenario I can ever fathom where that happens unless it is being found out, making up with my wife and giving her the option of me ending it. LOL WAY WAY WAY too risky to explore. If that time comes it comes. Right now I got a wife and family I love and the perfect mai noi set up. I’m going to enjoy it and not think too much.

Anyways maybe the farang in me has shrunk a lot in time. 11 years faithful to the core. Now I have a minor wife, something NEVER EVER EVER thought I’d have. Now if tried showing her off to Thai friends, they’d laugh at me of course. She’s 39 years old. She works at a market zillion hours per day. But hey, whatever, I like her a lot. And this is still new, but my marriage actually feels really good too despite now having a small wife too

Stickman's thoughts:

It sounds like you've been having quite an adventure up there. I hope your mia noi's stance doesn't change as some decide in time they don't want to be second in the pecking order and can become destructive in their efforts to become number 1, and I really hope your wife does not find out. Situations like this can cause people to become highly emotional and unpredictable.