Readers' Submissions

Farang Rant

  • Written by Kenada
  • February 10th, 2015
  • 6 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok



I wrote this about a year ago but I never hit the send button, what the hell I'll still submit it, one more to follow.

One thing I try to do on my visits is to view Thailand through the eyes of a Thai. Watching farangs illegally drive scooters on their roads while often drunk and reckless, grinding down shop owners to nothing when buying stuff, giving nothing or a 20 baht tip to a massage attendant after a 150 baht one hour massage for a grand total of under 6$, hanging out in bars and gogos and not buying a drink, eating at a restaurant and digging out every last baht from the billfold instead of leaving a tip. Thais aren't perfect and neither is their country but one must look at the farang's behavior. One thing about readers submissions is that they give a one sided slant on the story being told, which obviously puts the writer in the best light…… "What do I do with my bargirl, I treated her so well, sent her money every month, and she treated me like this". Let's hear her side 'Farang got drunk most of the nights we were together, got insanely jealous when we went out, blamed me when a guy looked at me. Then when he went home, sent me money for 2 months, then his broke ass couldn't afford it, so I moved on. There's always another side to the story that we never hear.

Let's talk about two prices for a Thai and a farang. Did it ever occur to a stupid foreigner that a 100 baht shirt is actually worth 100 baht and not 50. Why can't both sides in a transaction walk away happy? I've never really encountered this pricing discrepancy to any significant extent. If you've ever watched the effort these people put in setting up these outdoor markets 7 days a week, you might actually consider paying a reasonable price and appreciate the hard work involved. They don't just close the doors and come back tomorrow, it's completely torn down and rebuilt every day. I know this two tier system exists but I've never really experienced it, through my years on this planet I tend to know the general cost of items and am glad to pay a fair price where both sides benefit. I don't have to come out on top like many farangs do. I know the two tier system exists but I've witnessed several times farangs offering paltry sums for items.

As for police corruption, I have been stopped a few times on my scooter, which I am driving illegally by the way. If that was in my country the vehicle would impounded and I would be given a court date along with a hefty fine. One time I was stopped for no license, went and paid the 400 baht fine and was on my way. About a week later the same cop was in the same place, he motioned me to pull over, recognized me as I got closer and backed off and left me on my way. The few incidents I've had with police I've always been treated properly. I see these moron tourists arguing with the cops when they get pulled over when they are obviously guilty and they're just too stupid to go pay the fine. Scooters are fun to drive so I always get one, except in Bangkok. I'm not that stupid, but 90% of farangs are driving them illegally with no insurance. As for the shakedowns in Bangkok, I never experienced them and I hope that gets resolved.

Things I've witnessed:

Two smart ass young farangs poking fun at some ladyboys. The next thing I know one of the farangs had a 4 inch slice down the side of his face and a shirt covered in blood. I watched the whole thing unfold from a safe distance and still don't know how he got sliced, a reminder not to mess with the ladyboys. Bottom line is the ladyboys got the last laugh and they didn't provoke any of it. I'm not saying it was right – just mind your own business and most times you're fine.

Another time I witnessed a farang staggering drunk and he dropped his wallet without a clue that he did. A Thai food vendor noticed and scrambled to get the wallet and hurried to return it to him. I just find farangs so delusional I just shake my head. Saw two girls fighting at JP Bar in Pattaya, farang stepped in and broke it up. In his mind people were going to look up to him as some kind of hero and he said next time he went into JP bar the girls would flock to him because of how he handled it. What he didn't realize was that nobody was paying attention other than the two girls fighting.

Another lad who was living on about 25,000 baht a month, his only goal in life was to go back home and work, save a paltry amount so he could return and live his high rolling 25,000 baht a month lifestyle.

Another loser I met would take the 20 baht tip out of the bin I left for the waitress. We spent one night hanging out, he was all heartbroken because he saw his girlfriend's tongue down the throat of another farang. Can you blame her? To me these guys are too far gone and beyond repair, All were under 50 years old also.

As for me, I like to fly under the radar, be a face in the crowd. I've never had a girl who will stay with me for free. I've heard this happens, but never with me – maybe it's for the best. Rarely do I haggle over price with the girls unless it's outrageous. I did on earlier visits but I found it not worth the hassle, and I usually pay them as soon as we get to the hotel which seems to work for me. The girls know they're getting paid so they can relax a little. If she starts at 2000 for ST I might try 1500. If she says no I'm usually the one to give in, the bulge in my trousers usually makes that decision.

Many farangs want to constantly want to complain about the Japanese and the Koreans and how they're driving prices up. Most of the girls know that it's only them that pay the higher prices and never seem to mind going with a farang at the usual prices, even if it's a last resort, but can you blame them for going with a higher paying customer? Most farangs want to pay the same prices they were paying 10 – 15 years ago. That's where delusion comes into play.

What is the point of this sub? I get so tired of the 'poor me' tourists. Farangs think they can go to Thailand and the laws don't apply to them and blame the Thais when their vacation goes sideways. Anytime I've had any problems in Thailand I've mostly brought them on myself. You're in a foreign country where all you have to do is abide by laws that are about 25% the enforcement of the laws of your home country and many still complain. Thailand has always given me what I wanted, an escape from my mostly mundane life, as long as I abide by a few basic laws. Maybe my tone is too negative, but it's just my thoughts.

Kenada