Readers' Submissions

What Not To Do In Thailand

  • Written by Anonymous
  • January 7th, 2015
  • 4 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok



I have been in Thailand a couple of years and have had my ups and downs. I am a drunk I’ll admit but a peaceful and generous guy. A couple of things have happened of late that really that haven’t been discussed here before and I just thought I would share.

First, I was up in Korat minding my own business, having a few quiet beers at the back of the family’s home. Well protected here, I thought. A couple of Thai blokes came up – relatives – and drank my remaining beer. They were then sourcing beer from elsewhere. Sooner or later the bill came up and it’s F off, pay for your own drinks! You just drank all my beer! We’re not partying. I’m just sitting peacefully. The next beer was opened and next minute I am seeing things. Really strange things. I am actually calling mama to call the CIA at one point. Don’t know how this would work but at the time it seemed logical. I’m drugged! Next day I am fine but I slept outside with a screw driver as a weapon and you wouldn’t want to have touched me.

Next trip up country, new family is pestering me about my back problems and demanding I go see their magical doctor. He’s giving me steroids to fix a bad back! Yeah, this will work – NOT. Xmas Day I’m not feeling well but huge party – I sit it out, not drinking. I’m shaking and people are telling me to go to hospital but I don’t feel that bad – it comes and goes. I’ll just sit quietly and just want to get enough fluids in me. I go to bed and go into shock, totally paralysed. My entire body is locked up at this point and I cannot move. I’m in complete agony and scared.

If my girlfriend and her sister hadn’t reacted so quickly I would be dead. And two great young blokes who carried me into the car and looked after me in hospital. There was a senior police officer looking on who didn’t do anything. Really scary trip into hospital; nobody thought they would get me there but they get me there. It’s a good 25 minutes down the road at high speed. I’m totally shut down at this point and cannot move at all. Girlfriend handles all paperwork. Hospital staff are great. I get a few injections within minutes and a drip put into me.

Girlfriend sleeping one side; young worker other side. I cannot go to the toilet alone so they carry me. I owe these people big time. And hospital staff don’t want me moving. Scary stuff

Hospital was scary. They were actually evicting a bloke on his death bed who couldn’t pay his bill. Guessing it’s the brother in law is telling his wife not to turn off any buttons; bloke opposite who is dying is being asked to sign contracts. I’m near dead but this place scares me.

I check out before seeing the doctor. I just have to get out. Get back to girlfriend's home and get a dressing down by a senior police officer, kangaroo style court. They're drinking in a semi-circle and I’ve been sat in front of them. In the end I told them I cannot speak Thai and they cannot speak English so why are we having this talk. That sort of left them dumfounded.

We left the next morning and they really didn’t understand why.

WHAT NOT TO DO IN THAILAND. DRINK BEER THAT HAS BEEN OPENED. AND DON’T TAKE THESE STUPID AMOUNT OF DRUGS THEY GIVE YOU. If they cannot explain it in English, throw them in the bin! In Thailand they over-medicate with very strong drugs.

I’d hate to be a junkie or drug user and see where it gets you over here.

Normally I’m fine but these last two experiences have rattled me. You can come over here too relaxed but you do need your wits around you. Be careful and have backup. Let people know where you are. If you don’t know what it is don’t take it!

Got back home a crying mess. Still in shock. Few mates came by and looked after me. Talked me down sort of thing. Girlfriend is gradually getting the food back into me. I will repair!

Last laugh is on them though. People who looked after me have been taken care of. Got home, eventually, AUD has dropped, my money up, interest payment came through. I’m in the black :)

I’ll have to post another story about the new girlfriend and her multiple businesses. I’ve been near dead but if I woke up and there’s a thousand bras and knickers in the living room wouldn’t surprise me. But I might die laughing.

Regards,

Two feet in the grave but alive