A 30-Year Old Virgin
I am 29 years old. I am in Oz and recently travelled to Thailand with my friend for a 10 day trip during Christmas (mainly for sex purposes) and other common tourist places like temples and places etc. My friend left Bangkok after 5 days as he planned to visit his family in China.
The day he left I visited one of the gogo bars in Nana Plaza. I picked up a girl (paying bar fine, buying her lady drink) all that usual stuff.
A side note here about my life before we go on. I am 28 years old and had never had sex with a women, a virgin and I told this fact to this girl when we got to the hotel room. I was really tired that day because of food poisoning I had earlier that day. I told her that I was sick and had never been with a woman and was a little nervous too. Maybe you should help me to get started? I asked her this question when she was ‘holding my hand’ to my hotel. Like for how long have you been working, where are you from and how much the bar normally pays you. She was very professional and told me that she gets paid 10,000 baht per month plus commission from lady drinks and her own income if she goes out with customer (long time or short time). All in all she makes 50,000 – 60,000 baht per month. But she said she pays 10,000 baht per month just for the rent of her apartment.
So as I was nerves for the reason that I mentioned earlier and about HIV and other diseases that one can catch having sex with prostitute. But I decided to give it a try. I agreed to pay 6,000 baht for that night. I struggled to have sex for the first time so I kept on going for a while. She said she was tired and we should sleep. It was 4:30 in the morning. So I took shower and so did she.
We were back to bed and I couldn't sleep so I asked her a few questions. It was 6:00 in the morning and I still had no sleep in my eyes. Of course I had never been with a woman in my entire 28 years. That experience was mind boggling. Around 6:15 she said she has to go and she can’t sleep with me and I can find her in the same bar. I will have to pay. of course. I asked her how much she will charge me and she replied same price. I said ok give me your phone number and I will call you later.
That evening I called her like 5 or 6 times between 8:00 PM to 11:00 PM but she didn’t answer. I decided to hit the bar once again and went to the same bar. Obviously she wasn’t there. I didn’t feel interested in any of the other girls and came home after a few drinks. The ones I liked were not available for long time. For some reason I don’t believe in short time sex.
Anyway, after coming to my hotel room I rang her again around 1:00 AM. I asked where she was and she are said she is sick and can’t come today. I asked why she said she was having her period and I said it's ok just rest and we can talk in morning when you feel better and that I would like her to come tomorrow, if possible. She said she will try meet me around 8:00 PM the next day.
The next day I was waiting in my hotel lobby for her and she came as promised. We went for a nice dinner and she said she can't have sex because she is in pain. I agreed to it and we didn’t have sex. I told her that I will be leaving in 3 days time and asked if she could stay with me for rest of my holidays. She agreed and said we will go to her place and she will pick up some clothes in case we decide to go to the beach or something. We went for a little shopping where she bought a pair of shoes for herself and had dinner.
I was starting to get emotionally attached with her and saying things that most men would say if they have feelings for someone of the opposite sex. I asked questions about her personal life. She showed me photos from her graduation and her friends that she had done 4 years of study with. She has better English that some Australians and Americans apart from a few complex worlds she struggles with. That could be part of her study or bar scene or both, I don’t know.
I told her about my feelings over and over again. She said it's normal and she doesn’t want to get involved again. She told me that she had an Italian guy just like me but the same age as her, 24, who promised the same thing. But he forgot her after a few days and never contacted her again. She doesn’t want to have these feelings again but she said she likes me and she wants to be with me and how she can even see the future with me, having children together.
So we went to the beach on my last day and got back home around 9:00 PM. I was so desperate for sex that night but sad at the same time. I explained to her how emotional I was and that I want her badly in my life if she is willing to give up her work and find something that she might take pride in. She did not ask me for money in that period apart from her second day where she took me to her bar to pay the barfine for next 4 nights.
I paid her $1000 AUD in the morning and told her that I am not paying for sex. It’s for her passport and potential visa fee as I want her to come to Australia. I work full time and showed her my bank salary I get paid every month. She said she wants to come and quit her job the same day. So I took her to the airport. I told her I only left with $100 AUD (true) and that is for the taxi from Melbourne Airport to my home. She asked me if needed more money but I declined and told her that I will exchange the 4K baht I had left over if need be. So I took the plane and returned home but this girl stuck in my mind. I contacted her when I got home and we had two Skype sessions before I went to sleep. She said she feels lonely in Bangkok now and that she will go to her village the next day and that will take her 7 plus hours. She said she will be there for about 10 days before she comes to Bangkok and start to look for a job. I asked how can we keep in touch and she said there will be internet but with limited connectivity. She told me that it’s hard for her to live in Bangkok for some reason and she has to go home. I didn't really get that but she managed to convince me. After that day, January 8, I have had only one message from her saying that she got off the bus and her father picked her up. I sent her a message that I will call her on her mobile but she said ‘we will see’. She sent me a few massages after this saying she has a very limited signal.
So that’s all the money time and emotions involved in this story. I am aware that sex can be bought but not love. Is there a hope and what the next step is for me? Please ask me there is any more information I need to provide. Do you believe is there any future with this girl or it’s a lie. I am in desperate need of help. Any and all comments are welcome.
Thank you in advance
I think it generally helps if we have a few relationships before we find the lady who is right for us as a lifetime partner – that is if we are looking for a partner for life. There seems to be some confusion here with you initial being attracted to this lady for sexual reasons but you quickly started to feel attachment, I guess because this was the first lady you had been close to.
As difficult as it might sound, I think the best thing to do would be to try and find yourself a nice Aussie girlfriend. You will find it easier to understand each other and your expectations will be easier to manage. The differences between this lady you met in a hooker bar in Nana and yourself culturally are great, and that along with your lack of relationship experience, geographical distance and the fact that you only spent a few days in each other's company and barely know each other are no base for a relationship to flourish.
So my advice is to just think of Miss Nana as a holiday romance and concentrate your search for a lady closer to home.