The Island Part 3, About Thai Women
I once met the eldest Italian resident on the island in a restaurant. His name is Giovanni (John), and the locals call him 'papa', so his nickname in the Italian community is Papa Giovanni (Pope John) after Papa Giovanni XXIII. I was with my girlfriend whom he did not know, so he asked me if she had any kids, "No, she hasn't, but she's got her parents, brothers and sister." " Ah, you should find one who's an orphan with no kids and no siblings, like mine", said he. Damn shame he's a man (ladyboy), thought I, but I did not tell him. Too much respect for the Dean.
That is something I already knew, but Pope John put it into words: in order to maximize one's chances one should find a Thai woman with no kids, no parents and no siblings, for the simple reason that Thai women have a sense of duty for their family that creates huge problems in relationships with Farangs.
Another older guy who has a passion for young women, which I'm very fortunate not to share, always told me, "Go with them, but as soon as you are finished, pay them and part company immediately because every minute you spend with them after sex, they'll be taking the piss". Excellent piece of advice, pity he did not follow it and recently married a woman who is 34 years younger than him. She has a good job and they have been together for 10 years. He's so cool and fit that he does not look nearly as pathetic as most other guys who stay with a woman half their age do. He is a nice man, a friend, so I obviously wish him the best of luck, though I wish he had not married her.
At this point, perhaps some of you kind readers are wondering, what about you, wise guy?
Only on one occasion did I really get involved with a massage girl. She was 10 years younger than me, fat (I nicknamed her The Chubby One) but had incredibly BIG, brown, beautiful tits – real ones! Now that's something really hard to find with Thai women and she turned me on big time. The financial damage was small compared to the stories about Farang / hooker relationships I've seen and the ones reported here. It went on for about 2 years until one day I thought: WTF am I doing with this woman?! It just did not make any sense at all.
Going with hookers can be fun, but getting seriously involved with them is a very dangerous, an absurd thing to do. In the LOS, so many Farangs do it that it seems kind of normal to them. I strongly disagree. To be fair I know a few farang ex-hooker couples I could describe as successful, mind you the age gap tends to be small and more often than not the farang has a lot to offer.
Having said that, I want to make clear that I understand why so many of us, including me with the chubby one, end up with third-rate Thai hookers: LONELINESS. It has become so difficult to get on with Farang women. It's nobody's fault, it's just the way society has become. Over the years I've seen so many good guys from different backgrounds and of differing nationality losing not just money, but their dignity. I'm not judging, I'm just sad to see it happening over and over again.
After "la Cicciona" (The Chubby One) I enjoyed freedom in hookers land. I'm not sure it's the same now, but when I was there it was fun, and it did not hurt my wallet. I remember spending a lot more money on food than on hookers!
At some point though, I got tired and when it seemed like a repetition I lost interest in it.
That's when the Japanese girl came into my life.
Hiroko was 14 years younger than me, had a very cute face, almost white, but her limbs were short.
In my experience, Japanese women are totally faithful and mine was almost devoted to me, highly efficient, clean and pragmatic. What I found a bit shocking about her and her friends was how fantastically ignorant they were about not only the rest of the world, but their own country as well. I think Japan (not the Japanese people) is so rich because of this – they focus on what they do, whatever that is, the American way taken to the extreme.
Hiroko had no problem following me wherever I went be it Thailand, England or Italy. My parents liked her and at 42 I had found an ideal partner. Was I happy? No! She bored the hell out of me.
I'm not sure how long we went on, maybe 2 years, but in the end I started dropping heavy hints about my wanting to end the relationship. She did not get it so I had to send her an email saying, "I'm so sorry, but it's over". Imagine that, ending a serious relationship with an email.
I told her not to waste time with Italian men (whom she liked a lot), give up her wish to live in Italy, get a steady job in Japan and a nice, normal Japanese husband. She did that, except for the husband. After all these years she's still single. How do I know? I'm in contact with her and she speaks Italian now. She would have made the perfect wife in many ways. Between my friends and family, she met around 50 screaming Italians and NEVER said anything about any of them. Instead of liking it, I found that infuriating in the long run. She still sends Xmas cards to my parents and auntie, does not seem to bear any grudge, even though I could not help leaving her I do feel guilty. Now that I'm old I realize I've hurt people and I feel bad about it.
After Hiroko, I went back to the island and started what was to be my most intense, finest period of whoremongering ever. By then I was a veteran. My favourite girls were not much in demand as most of them were in their 30s and I could spend the night with them for the now truly legendary sum of 500 baht! (The good old days!) 5 months of mongering later I was tired again. I slowed down on my mongering and tried to get fit before returning to Farangland.
It was at this point that I met Kai, Mon Amour.
On a cloudy Saturday afternoon at the Lamai Pearl Resort, there she was, standing next to a tall, beautiful freelance hooker. She was so tall, dangerous and intimidating that none of us had ever gone with her, but as she came to the beach every day and spoke good English. I knew her quite well. Her name was Na. Kai was as tall as Na, which is very tall for Thailand. Who is she? Nobody knew her. I was really intrigued.
An hour later we were back at my house and I was cooking pasta for the 3 of us. When Na realized I was after her friend and not her, she told me, "This girl has never had a boyfriend, she has a good university degree and a steady, well paid office job".
"What is she doing hanging out with you then?"
Instead of punching me in the face like I thought she would, she said, "We were together at high school."
At 5 o'clock on Monday I was waiting outside her office. I did not really believe the story about her and yet I did. Confused? Tell me about it!
As soon as I saw her coming out of her workplace, talking to her friends, a verso of Dante came to my mind, "Tanto gentile e tanto onesta pare…" "So kind and honest does she look"…
To be continued…