Thai Women, My Thoughts
I have a Thai girlfriend, Her 31 – Me 49. Although I have always kept in shape, to be honest I feel the age gap was extreme by western standards and I had my concerns and went to Bangkok just to have fun (which I very much did). The entire time I was worried about this whole thing being some type of scam and that somehow I would be shoveling money out the window, so I had a plan A and a plan B. Plan A comprised of her meeting me at the airport and her and I spending 3 weeks together. Plan B was her meeting me at the airport and if it turned into some form of money situation then I would be heading to Pattaya or perhaps somewhere else and just relax and possibly hook up with a local.
A little background is that her and I met on ThaiCupid about 7 months prior to me coming to Bangkok. We chatted everyday for between 4 and 5 hours, either on the phone or on Line. We chat every morning and every night for at least 2 – 3 hours. She works in the diamond district counting diamonds and is working on getting her degree currently (I had doubts about this also).
Anyway, back to the airport meetup when I landed. I am from the US and it is about a 24-hour flight from North Carolina to BKK. When I landed at the airport we met at meeting spot 2 and I was pleasantly surprised to finally meet her. Not only was she pretty, she was also very classy. She had arranged for a cab (one of her neighbors to take me to the hotel (who is a cab driver)).
On the way over we talked and chatted (she knows English but not at a bargirl level, but can communicate and put sentences together). We get to the hotel and she pays for the cab ride. I explain to her that it is not her responsibility and she says this is how guests are treated. She took me up to my room and waited for me to get settled in and then I walked her down to the taxi for her to go back to Soi 36 (keep in mind my flight landed at 11 PM on a Saturday night). I had asked her to stay at the hotel and she would not, because of the perception of being a hooker. While we were walking out to the cab she asked if I had exchanged currencies. When I said no she quickly went to her purse and handed me 4,000 baht. Keep in mind this is a lot of money for her and she handed it to me and went to the cab where we said our goodbyes. Needless to say I went with plan A and it was an amazing trip. I told her I wanted to experience Thai culture and not the tourist culture and she came through 100%. We went everywhere and she literally paid for almost everything. Also keep in mind my annual income is between 6 and 8 Million baht (I did pay her the next day her 4,000 baht back). When I asked her why she was paying she again stated that I was a guest in her country and that is the Thai way (who am I to argue with that? LOL).
I feel it was important to give you the background on our relationship. I have had many western girlfriends and most would like me to settle down and marry them (them asking me). It is hard to explain the difference between a Thai woman and a western woman, but for me I think the whole feminism movement has gone way too far. While my girlfriend is strong minded she never loses track of her femininity. It is not looked at as a curse but as a plus to bring to the relationship. While going out on dates with western women is kind of like a job interview, I felt like I was not being interviewed, but just being accepted for who I am (which really isn’t bad from the start) and having a good time. The Thais have a great sense of humor and it makes me laugh even writing this. Are all Thai perfect? Hell no! I met some who definitely overcharged me for some street food and my girlfriend stepped in and said “a lot dai mai?” When they answered no (her response to them was bullshit) and she pulled me away and we walked to the next vendor who saw what happened and charged me the Thai price for street food. Are Americans like that too? Sure, go to New York City and see if they don’t run a scam on you at one point or another. I think the majority of foreigners who go to Thailand are sexpats and expats who are definitely dysfunctional, so I do not blame them for what they do, but they are giving the normal people a bad name. I do not blame the Thais one bit for doing this to westerners. Why? Well look how they treat their country – like their shit doesn’t stink and they can buy everything and everyone. These guys that I see in the tourist areas are for the most part degenerates of our society over here and scrape their nickels together to afford the trip to Thailand where they are viewed as rich farang to be coddled over. It is a shame that it has the perception, but it is an accurate perception. Most of them are lonely and out of shape and balding and their first priority should be to take care of themselves before bringing someone else into their shitty lives.
In synopsis there were some Thais that I really liked and some who I thought were assholes, but if you can understand and be patient you can and will win them over. The first starting point is to respect them and be consistent. I don’t blame the bar girls or low class girls for any of the horror stories, but in fact quite the reverse. I see the western men feeding into this and paying stupid amounts of money for a woman THEY KNOW is not for them and then thinking it will work. My girl knows a couple things that I got straight from the start:
1. Never ever ask me for money.
2. If a family member ever asks me for money I will end the relationship.
3. I am not Thai and I will not pay a sin sod as that is a Thai – Thai tradition.
4. She is a big girl and has taken care of herself and has for quite some time.
5. She is not my indentured servant to coddle to my every whim.
These are the ground rules for anyone getting involved (I may have missed one or two, but you get the gist). Anyways I know I am a rare breed and I think she is too, but not all of us are old degenerates and balding with beer belly.
On a side note, I never really ever felt that age was any factor after we met. I guess that is the cherry on top of this whole story, truly exceptional woman and truly and exceptional country.