Following My Heart to Thailand
In two previous submissions, I described my efforts over a four month period getting to know three women over ThaiLoveLinks and forming “relationships” in anticipation of a trip to Thailand to determine whether there was sufficient chemistry for one that might be lasting. This submission updates that story with my recent trip to Thailand and some of the ancillary experiences I had while there.
The original purpose of the trip had been to meet Pang, a 23-year old English teacher in training in her last year of university in a central Isaan province. But during a disastrous conversation, a girl who had always seemed genuine and never made a request for money shattered my conception of her by suggesting that when I met her parents I buy them a small car or washing machine. Although she subsequently apologized profusely, I told her that I needed time to sort out my feelings about her and that I would not be coming to see her. In reality, I had decided to make Ping, an 18-year old first year university student in nursing, and Pong, a 22-old university student in her last year of studying law, the focus of my trip.
I flew into Bangkok in the evening and got to my hotel around 20:00. I decided to have a walk around the neighborhood and get a sense of Bangkok, only to discover to my amusement that my hotel, on Sukhumvit Soi 24, was ground zero for the massage parlor industry. As this is not my cup of Thai iced tea, I decided to take a long walk up Sukhumvit to the mid thirties and back down to the mid teens. What struck me during the walk is how seemingly non-uniform the environment is from block to block. I passed a high-end car dealership and ate, one block later, at a hole in the wall corner restaurant which only had two walls, but was nonetheless very good. Everyone was friendly from the tuktuk operators trying to hustle me in for a ride to a few ladies of the night who would start walking next to me and grab my hand or certain other places! I just smiled broadly and said “no thank you” to everyone. When I woke up the next day at 06:00, Sukhumvit from sois 22 – 26 had transformed into the food vendor paradise I had always heard about. Four Thai iced teas, eight sticks of moo ping, several pieces of fried chicken and two green curries later, I headed to Hua Lamphong for a train ride into Central Thailand to go visit Ping.
The five and a half hour train ride was uneventful and I am happy that Thailand keeps transportation costs so cheap, my ticket costing less than 60 baht as I rode with a car full of Thais and spent most of the trip across from a monk who was friendly and tried to communicate with me without being able to speak a word of English. I rolled into a small city in central Thailand ready to give a warm, but appropriately non-passionate hug to Ping, only to find that she was not there! I was an hour late coming in and had no internet reception so I held out hope she was at the hotel which was our back up meeting point. In this city the train station is rather far from the city center, so I hopped in the nearest truck for a ride into town. It was my first experience with Thais trying to get away with whatever they think they can. I was the only passenger and the driver quoted me a price of 150 Baht. When we arrived in the city center I handed him a 500 Baht note and he just smiled and thanked me, but made no move to make change. When I repeated the number 150 to him in Thai, he handed me change, 100 baht short. When I told him that 500 – 150 = 350, he handed me another 100 baht note. I gave him a 20 Baht note as a tip to show there were no hard feelings.
When I stepped into the hotel Ping was nowhere to be seen! I went to the front desk and asked if a young woman whom I had a reservation with had checked in. The concierge pointed to a room around the corner hidden from view and there I found her, sitting quiet as a mouse. When I had come in she said not a word, nor could I get a word out of her on the way up to the room as the bellboy brought our bags. When we got to the room she burst into tears, sobbing that she had thought I was never going to come (even though I had told her I was on the train) or that something had happened to me. And that I was fatter than she expected! I am about 108 kilos and she is about 38, so we look a tad odd together. The bellboy went about his business and ended up quietly exiting as I calmed her down. After I gave her some presents, makeup I had brought her from the US, she cheered up. She began to move back and forth from being extremely warm and passionate, with very deep and forceful French kissing to very shy and tentative. It was then that she told me that she had lied to me and was actually a virgin. At that point, I said to her that I cared about her very much but that we should cuddle and go to sleep so she could sort out her feelings about me before making any decisions.
The next morning she had decided. She told me how much she loved me and throughout the day we proceeded to make love more than 10 times after her first time which I set to romantic piano music. For lunch we headed out to the local Big C, where I was the only farang to be seen in three hours. It was there that I found my next great love of Thailand, flavored teas! Although my first experience was not with Ochaya, which is hands down my favorite franchise in Thailand, it began a streak of my drinking 4 – 5 cups a day of the stuff in addition to a few milk teas. Ping and I talked for many hours in between our intimate activities and she was as sweet and loving as she had been for four months over Skype. Then she dropped the next bombshell, her parents did not know about me, even though she had told me all along that she had kept them informed. As karma must be present in abundance in a country full of Buddhists, this was to set the stage for a very interesting set of events the following morning.
After waking up early to have Ping prodding me for more intimate exercises and my happily obliging her for the next two hours, her cell phone started ringing non-stop. When she answered it, she assumed a look of abject horror. Her parents had decided to pay her a surprise visit at her university dormitory, where she was most decidedly not! I told her to calm down, threw on a suit and told her that sometimes it is best to just walk into the lion’s den. Meetings her parents outside on a park bench, the conversation was somewhat awkward though they seemed very pleased by my proper wai (I did not know whether to wai her younger brother who was a novice monk, but decided against it) and that I spoke enough Thai to express basic thoughts. Her mother seemed very bemused and her father was mostly just stunned. He stated several times that he wanted her to finish her studies in Thailand (almost four years away), with my polite reply that this topic should be discussed later once they knew more about me. A crisis averted, I headed back to Bangkok as she had classes all the next week.
I had already decided I wanted to have a serious relationship with Ping and was willing to bring her to the US if she could get her parents to go along, but as I rolled into Hua Lamphong I had to head straight out to the airport to meet Pong. This turned out to be a disaster. I had some reservations about Pong from a previous misunderstanding that arose from my sending her money, but I was not prepared for what an unpleasant girl she actually turned out to be. As I told her about what I wanted to do over the next few days, she laid out her alternative itinerary which not surprisingly included Siam Paragon, Lord Jim’s and several other rather expensive venues. After tumbling around in bed for two hours, I explained to her that I am not an extravagant person and like simple pleasures without spending vast sums of money. She looked at me critically, and then said we were not right for each other and that she wanted to go back to Khon Kaen the following morning. The next morning she asked me to buy her another plane ticket back north. I handed her 250 Baht and told her that I heard the view on the North Eastern line was very pleasant. I have not heard from her since.
After the disaster of the previous evening, I reached out to Pang and invited her to come down to Bangkok. We had been texting each other every day as we both have Apple phones, but I erased it to cover my tracks with the other ladies and only had her e-mail. Either she is lying, or as fate would have it she did not text me again while I was in Thailand and she had lost the password to the only e-mail I had for her so we never met up. Ping called me to tell me that her parents did not want her to see me again until I came and spent a week with them in April. So I was alone in Bangkok for four nights with the relationship I had hoped for very much in doubt. I decided to meet with some of the other “friends” I had made over TLL who had intimated they wanted a relationship.
The first girl had on her profile that she was a 20 year old university student. When I e-mailed her that I wanted to meet up, she responded that she was coming to my hotel, but would need a few hours to arrive as she was in Pattaya. The gears in my head started whirling. When she showed up, she was nothing what I expected. She was actually 30, but every bit as beautiful as her pictures taken 10 years ago. When I diplomatically asked what she was doing in Pattaya, she informed me that she is the co-owner of several beer bars with some Japanese friends and is opening another bar soon on her own. After a nice dinner and long conversation about the problems successful women in Thailand have finding husbands, she told me she wanted to spend the night before heading to Pattaya the next morning. When we got back to the hotel she promptly started to undress me, telling me that she did not think she would be a good match for me given what I told her about my background, but wanted to have sex and remain friends. After a pleasant evening, she departed the next day and has not returned an e-mail since.
The next day I decided to meet up with another law student in her final year, a girl from a very wealthy Isaan family. Before she came to meet me, she asked if she could bring a chaperone. I assented and was surprised when she showed up with not one, but two ladyboys, which she very clearly was not. One of them was innocuous, but as I tried to talk to her and get to know her the other dominated the dinner I took them out to. Getting irritated, I grudgingly assented to go out shopping with them. The final straw was when the aggressive ladyboy asked me to buy her a dress. I told her that I was interested in her friend and not her, to which she responded that she would be a much better girlfriend and would prove it to me that night if I bought her the dress! At that point I bid adieu to the real girl, telling her that she had made a mockery of the evening and that I doubt there was much point in us talking again.
With three evenings left, I gave into my curiosity and decided to experience the naughty nightlife scene, albeit as just an observer. I chose Nana Plaza. Although I was not there to partake and resisted every encouragement to take a lady out or even order a lady-drink, I did acquire some insights for the experience. On the first evening I spent 20 to 30 minutes in each venue, drinking either a soda or a glass of pineapple juice. On the second evening I spent an hour or more in the most pleasant venues.
The first thing I would advise every visitor to Nana venues to do is to befriend the wait staff. In each venue I was extremely generous with tips, which was much appreciated by ladies who do not see the large paydays of their dancing co-workers. Although the general level of English was not great, they were happy to hang around and answer simple questions about the girls such as whether they went with customers; were new or seasoned; went out with customers often or rarely and were good hearted or not. I explained to each server that I had a Thai girlfriend and had no desire to take a girl out or drink with them and several appeared to run interference for me by preventing girls from sitting next to me and losing face by being refused attention.
I found the majority of the girls in the bars to be attractive. I would estimate that only 20% of the women were sufficiently unattractive or overweight that I would have no interest in them if I were in the market. In each venue other than small ones such DC 10, I saw at least 2 or 3 whom I found very beautiful and would have paid good money for an evening with if I were so inclined. The standard deviation within each venue was high, however, with some extremely beautiful girls dancing next to others who I could not see pulling a customer given the competition of the others dancing on stage. Without variable pricing, I think it would be difficult for many girls to get chosen over the real stand-outs.
Many dancers do not take well to rejection. When they show an interest in you as a customer and you make it clear you have no interest, you will see some rude behavior and some venomous stares. That being said, several were still happy to sit with me and chat when I told them I had a Thai girlfriend and was learning Thai. I used Thai for Beginners as a highly effective prop.
The quality of dancing is truly awful and most girls have no idea how to market themselves. The Bangkok shuffle was ubiquitous and most women did not even turn a full 360 during their dancing shifts to survey where the customers were and who they were paying attention to. The most comic example was a 20 minute stint in Wild Thing where the server and I were laughing as I was the only customer in the bar and none of the 5 girls on stage ever turned around to look at me. Then again the outlook for that bar appeared pretty grim. The exceptions to this rule were Spankys and Angelwitch, although in Spankys I would not call it dancing as much as it was playfully swatting all around the with the empty foam tubes. In fact, Spanky’s was the only venue where the girls genuinely seemed to be having fun. I complimented the mamasan on the way out for keeping the workers as happy as the customers.
My final evening in Bangkok I got a ring from Ping. She had told her parents that whatever they might want, she was coming to spend my last night in Bangkok with me and that she was going to go to America with me after her first year is finished. She took the five hour train ride down, came to my hotel for six hours of passionate love making, and then went to the airport with me, where she was bawling as we said a tearful goodbye, to the great amusement of the two Thai guards standing at the gate. At that point, I sent a note to Pang saying that since she had not responded to me, I was abandoning the idea of a relationship with her.
So as it stands, I need to win over Ping's parents. She unfortunately cannot come to the US without obtaining a passport, which requires the consent of both her parents, as she is not yet 20. Her mother has yielded to her daughter’s desire to be with me, although her father is holding out and was upset that I very firmly told him that no sin soht would be forthcoming as I intended to put their daughter through university in the US, hardly an inexpensive proposition. I am going back to visit her in Bangkok for 10 days in January and then spending a week with the parents in April, where if all goes well I will get engaged to her and bring her back with me. I have come to love this girl, even though I am still skeptical she is ready to make such a huge decision. But she seems to have decided, in the parlance of Average Thai Girl’s proverb, that I am of the head and the heart and not just a piece of clothing. Time will tell.
P.S. Based upon the information provided above, can Stick guess what Central Thai city I traveled to? <Nakhon Sawan – Stick>
That's a meek reaction from the father! A foreign man twice his daughter's age and almost 3 times her weight rolling in to town with the intention of taking his daughter who he has known for 24 hours to the other side of the world is the sort of extreme situation that is worthy of an extreme reaction!
I question the idea of jumping in to bed with *young* ladies in a country where females mature later than they do in the west. And professing your supposed love for a virgin you have just met a few hours earlier and within 24 hours of leaving her you're in bed with another strikes me as disrespectful and deceitful at best, and possibly something altogether worse.
It's not hard to have fun in Thailand, but I cringe when guys do the dirty with a girl they have promised the world to and then fly away like a butterfly. That is just plain not nice. Now in the case of this lady you did not do that….but you almost did. You told her one thing while you were exercising other options. OK, so many people do that….but when the lady in question is aged under 20 and has no relationship experience that strikes me as questionable. Call me a stuffy conservative, but I think respect is missing from this, umm, err, what do I call it….because I really don't think "relationship" is the right word.
Two final points…what sort of pen name is Sincere for someone who clearly is anything but, and why does a guy who says he's from the US give his weight in kilos?