Perhaps It Was A Dream – No, It Was Real
Do you remember that first time you saw her? Was it in Pattaya? Maybe it was up in Chiang Mai – or it could have been in Phuket or in Bangkok – The City Of Angels. I think it is fairly safe to say that we all remember that occasion – how could we forget it? There are times when I know that you wish you could forget – but you cannot – her face is imprinted in your memory and there it will remain forever. What you remember most about her was her "class" – she had lots of it and the good looks to go with it made you sense that you had truly struck "the mother lode" and were the luckiest man in Thailand to have walked into that bar when you did.
She had not one single tattoo, her dress-sense was reserved and proper, her make-up was as if she had been attended to by a professional cosmetician – and her hair was groomed perfectly. It was jet-black and long, down past her shoulder-blades, framing a perfect face with classic high cheekbones and those beautiful brown eyes that seemed to have the ability to look deep into your very soul. She had very fair skin, making me wonder if there was some French influence in her heritage – or perhaps Chinese. You were her prisoner from that moment onward. The truth is you never had any desire to even try to escape.
Sounds familiar, doesn't it? I think we've all been there – but it doesn't happen very often. More often than not we overhear a lot of acrimony from Farang men in bars in Thailand, complaining about their former Farang girlfriends or wives – but I think this one beats them all. This guy had a few under the belt and he said "Getting a blow-job from her was like walking on a high-wire – in either situation, you really don't want to be looking down".
Let's leave crass where it belongs – in the blow-job bars – and go back to when you first found "the mother lode" and to where it, perhaps, may have taken you. You may remember that she wasn't at all "pushy" – never even asked you to buy her a drink – of course she had no need to because you had already asked her what she would like to drink if she would share some time with you. There are many possible permutations that could evolve from here so let us just take one possible scenario and expand on that a little more.
What were you looking for – a one-night-stand or something more substantial? Her appearance and the fact that the conversation flowed so easily between the two of you made the choice a no-brainer. You wanted to take this to the limit – but her obvious class made you reluctant to assume that she may even be interested in anything more than a drink or two and some more time to assess whether you may be a possible contender for more than just a sexual encounter.
When it happened to me, I was in the market for a Thai wife and she was everything in appearance that I could have imagined I would want in a partner. Of course, looks are not everything and personality is something that can only be gauged by interaction and the passing of time. What mileage is there in a liaison that is based solely on sex? There needs to be more than that for a relationship to be created – but, on the indicators given so far, I was prepared to take a chance on where this might take us both. Perhaps I have always believed that, when I met the right person, our souls would connect even before a single word could be spoken. That was the message I had been feeling with this person.
Maybe you were not looking for a Thai wife – you may have been simply looking for a person to share a meal with and perhaps a long-time session together for the night. That may not be so easy to find in these harder times in Thailand. Many things have changed from as it once was quite some years ago – but, back then, it was quite common to strike gold even for a one-night-stand. She may not have been your type after sharing some hours together – but it was pleasant having her company and the sex was good. When the morning came, the parting of the ways came and she was gone. Perhaps you regretted letting her go without asking her to stay for another day with you – maybe no further arrangements were made to meet again. Either way, I could imagine you regretted her leaving.
My perceptions were accurate and she stayed with me for a long time – as a matter of fact she is still with me after all these years. Of course we have grown older and much wiser with time – but the passion remains after so many ups and downs that most couples encounter on the roller-coaster of life. Sometimes I do wonder where I would be if I had not taken that chance on that night so long ago when I first saw that Angel in that bar that set the scene for what would be the beginning of the most important part of my life.
We go through the marriage ceremony when we are far too young to understand the implications of what we are about to embark upon. Marrying young is a grave mistake for we do not have the life experience to even know what it is we, as single persons, expect to find in life. My first experience was in Farangland and, looking back, I see the expectations and peer pressure that is applied surreptitiously by social norms and religious dogma to stream us to conform to "normal" behaviour. You probably ended up having children and both of you were very often ill-prepared for the task of parenting – probably the most important part of being married with a family – but nobody ever gets the "instruction booklet", do they?
That marriage failed after 15 years – and marriage #2 also lasted 15 years – but I sometimes wonder on the significance of 15 years. Put both of those together and there goes 30 years of your life and, for me, very little to show for it other than some real estate and a business or two. Both of those commodities are worthless, in my opinion.
Thailand gave me new values – as a matter of fact it was really the beginning of my life. That is how I always see it now. My Thai Angel was my Saviour and I owe so much to her.
So, what happened for you? Did you take her back to your homeland or did you stay in Thailand as an expat and built that house somewhere in Isaan or one of the outer provinces of Lanna? Maybe you are both living in a condo in Pattaya – but it is very different to what you remember when you first went there, all those years ago. I hear it is almost mandatory to be able to speak Russian these days.
Chances are that many of you who met that Thai Angel will no longer be with her – who knows why it happened, sometimes it just does.
Trolling through some of my old working charts, I found the song lyrics for one that probably says it all for many of the disenchanted who still recall that very special night. The words were written by Gordon Lightfoot and I will include them here for those who wish to ponder on the wherefores and whys.
"Now And Then"
I think this time you've said enough to make me want to leave this place
Still I keep coming back for more of the same to fan the dying flame
Here inside these walls that seem to move a little closer every day
There must be a way out of this crazy game we play out to the end
Let us just pretend a while
Think about the good things now and then
I think this time that was the best time that we two had ever known
We tried the handle of the house upon the shore and found the open door
Once inside we found a curious moonbeam doing dances on the floor
We were only playing like two children who had stayed away from school
Two of us could not be wrong
Heaven knows who keeps the golden rule
I think this time we've learned enough to know that nothing is the same
But still the pounding of my heart hasn't changed and leavin's so strange
Here among my thoughts of you I find a gentle longing to be free
There must be a way out of this crazy game we play out to the end
Take away the in-between
Think about the good things now and then
We will see the day when you or I will stay or face up to the end
Let us just pretend a while
And think about the good things now and then
(Lyrics by Gordon Lightfoot from the album "Cold On The Shoulder")
I don't think there is any more that needs to be said – is there?
