Mongering While Hitched? That Is The Question
I have been married and divorced in the US, had a few girlfriends since then, stayed single for many years in California, got a Thai girlfriend recently and someone asks the question Do You Still Monger Once Hitched?
Is it OK for one to stray while married or with a Thai girlfriend?
Well, for me it is an easy question to answer.
I came to Bangkok a few years ago, sampled a few girls (how can a sexually healthy man avoid girls in Thailand?) and then settled on a nice attractive young Thai girlfriend. We have been going out for about two years and I can tell you it has been a great experience. She takes care of me more than I take care of her if judged by the "Foreign man with a Thai lady" standards! We have a great sex life, the best I have had all my life. We get along fantastic when we travel together or when we stay at home. We shower together every time a shower is needed. She soaps me up from top to bottom and I do the same to her, something my ex wife and I rarely did in our 9 years of marriage even when we had started dating. It just was not something we did even though I wanted to.
I think I love my Thai girlfriend more than I had loved any girl in the past except for my teenage first love girl whom I never had the chance to be intimate with…so maybe true love is all in my mind.
Is it easy for most foreign men to be faithful to their Thai wife / girlfriend? I think it is but the temptations are always there especially if you are in Bangkok or any of the big cities in Thailand. In the villages maybe these temptations are less abundant and everyone knows everybody hence it is easier to be faithful.
I am guessing that there are very, very few men, in Thailand in general and in Bangkok specifically, who have been faithful to their Thai women, and it is possible that their Thai women have not been faithful to them either.
My best Thai friend had a "gig" who he supported for over 8 years. College fees and monthly expenses paid. she was beautiful and young. I met him and her for dinner one night. She was very very shy to speak English with me, so I kept talking to her to get her to speak English. He encouraged me to keep trying to get her to speak with me. She was a university graduate and she could speak it.
My Thai friend went to the bathroom. One second later I felt her leg touching mine under the table. She looked at me and had a very shy, sexy smile on her face and she handed over to me her phone number! I was shocked to my foundations! My best friend is few meters away and here is his gig trying to hit on me? He had taken care of her for years. How could she do that to him after what he had done for her?
Needless to say, I never called her and I threw her number away. He was my best friend and there are hundreds of beauties in Bangkok so why on earth would I be interested in her? This was about 2.5 years ago and since then I have learned a lot more about Bangkok and there is so much more to learn. I now believe that almost no-one is safe in Bangkok. I have a guess that there is so much cheating going on that most relationships are not safe, including mine. It seems that many, but not all, Thai girls in Bangkok are looking for an upgrade just as much as most Thai men who are also always looking for an upgrade to a whiter younger Thai gig or mia noi (2nd wife)…
So, for me, it is perfectly normal to seek other excitement when I am hitched to a girlfriend as long as it is done in a safe and private way. One must "save face" with the Thai ladies. I never love my girlfriend less after my other adventures, as a matter of fact I am never bored with her. I know I always have "options" while in Bangkok. I suspect that my girlfriend is looking for an upgrade too, time will tell…
I think it is perfectly normal for most men to have fantasies about having other women while "hitched" and it is "OK" to make these fantasies come true, especially in Thailand.
So I say, go ahead and have fun, be safe, love your Thai woman, treat her nicely, do not let her take advantage of you, BUT be prepared for an upgrade…by you or by her!
The annual Durex international sex survey has shown that faithfulness is often absent in relationships in Thailand.