How I Discovered Your Site
The following story is by far one of the lowest points in my life. Ain't it funny how Thailand can have that affect on so many!
Before I begin, I feel it is important that I give you a bit of background on my connection with Thailand. I first came to LOS in 2003 as a volunteer and guess where I was stationed; Pattaya! I had little time to research my new home and boy, was I in for a shock! My job was to work with street kids and orphans. I was to set up sports programs and promote physical activity. As a young man in a new land it didn’t take long for me to get sucked in to the naughty nightlife. I had no TV at home and received a lot of attention from ladies of all stripes whenever I ventured out for an evening walk.
It is here where I met my future wife and no, she was not a bargirl. I am 100% sure of this as she worked in a pharmacy 6 days a week and I visited her often. The reason we connected was because she was the first Thai girl I met that insisted we share the cost of our dates. She was from Southern Thailand, recently divorced, no kids and interestingly, 3 years older than me.
I could write a separate post on the ups and downs of our relationship in the beginning, but I will share that she soon became pregnant and I had an important decision to make. I could have easily run off, but I am not a dead-beat dad and decided to support her and the baby. Within 10 months of my son being born they both had their papers and joined me in my home county.
So let’s fast forward ten years and our annual summer trips to Thailand. This trip was different though, as I now had a work colleague join me who wanted me to show him Thailand. Great, I thought! I must take him to Pattaya! I still have Thai friends there and to me it’s my second home in Thailand since I lived there for a year. (We now have a permanent home in another area of Thailand.) So now I have an excuse to go out without the wife and I am itching to go to Walking Street and show him the sights.
The evening starts with us visiting a beer bar near our hotel where I noticed a beautiful, petite girl who smiled at me when we left a shopping centre earlier that day. When we got there early that evening, she quickly came to me and within minutes she was all over me, whispering in my ear how much she wanted me.
Now, I know what you are thinking. This is a typical scenario for anyone who walks into a beer bar. I can tell you that I visited hundreds of bars in my trips to Thailand, but this girl really knew how to push my buttons and perhaps it didn’t help that I had not been to a beer bar in 2 years.
After an hour and a half of flirting and kissing, my friend and I decided to leave the bar and head for Walking Street. The night was still young and I HAD NO INTENTIONS OF BARFINING A GIRL. So we visit several gogo bars and dance clubs and by midnight my friend is still feeling a little jetlagged and tells me he wants to go back to the hotel and get some shut eye. My reaction? WTF! I tell him I want to stay out and to not answer his hotel room door until I get back. (My wife was in a neighbouring room with my son).
So I go back to the original beer bar to see the girl I connected with earlier that night. I bar fine her because I want to go to Marine Disco like in the old days. She agrees and off we go. At this point, I am unsure if I want to go any farther than a date to Marine. But with the music flowing and the alcohol in my veins, my sense of judgment is gone. It is 2AM and a decision needs to be made. Rather than just going back to my room, I take her to a hotel near her bar and the sin begins.
We are on the bed, she giving me oral pleasure and then proceeds to sit on me without a condom. “What are you doing? Don’t you have a condom?”, I asked her. She replies with a no. At this point I am shocked, as usually all bar girls carry condoms with them and I did not have any because I had no intentions up until an hour ago that I wanted to get naked with a bargirl. I have often barfined girls for a night out of disco dancing and fun, only to return alone back to my hotel. So now I am in a pickle. My body is hard and ready to go and I am very drunk and horny. So my solution is to be a dummy and have sex with her as I am really caught up in the moment.
Now, Stick, this is something that I have never done before and to this day I don’t understand why I did it. While it is embarrassing to admit this, it is perhaps not embarrassing that I did not last long. Time is ticking away and as some of you may remember, I need to get back to my hotel pronto before the wife wakes up, so I leave the hotel #2 around 5:30 AM and return to my original room.
The next morning I wake up feeling extremely hung over, extremely tired and extremely guilty that I have cheated on my wife. (Not a good combination if you also factor in the humidity that day.) The wife wanted to go to Nong Nooch Gardens and visit the sights. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Wild thoughts of the consequences of unprotected sex flood my brain. What can I do? I need to wait 3 months before getting tested and it takes 6 months of waiting to be 100% certain that I had not contracted HIV.
I am spending all of my free time on the internet researching HIV, STDs and all that fun stuff. I even go to a local hospital to see if I can get anti-retroviral drugs, but the one I went to say they are out and I need to return later in the day. That won’t work as we are scheduled to leave in a few hours. So here I am driving back home, which is 5+ hours away, feeling like a piece of shit who is about to die a slow, agonizing and embarrassing death. I am paranoid that I am HIV positive, that I am going to have to find excuses not to sleep with my wife for the next three months and worst of all, I am paranoid that I am going to get caught.
It was on that day, researching bar girls, that I discovered the Stickman website. I wanted to know if others had been in my shoes. I wanted to know about bar girls and their motives. I wanted to know if other veterans had also fallen through the cracks. Ever since that day, I have logged in religiously at least once a week.
However, this is just the first half of a complex story. Wait till you hear how I managed to go back to Pattaya and try to convince the bar girl to get tested, as my brain was self destructing. The end result was a real eye opener.
To be continued…
I bet a lot of guys found the site after going through something similar (and it would be great to hear their stories too).
Looking forward to part 2!