Readers' Submissions

Going to Thailand to Find a Wife

  • Written by Ken L
  • October 17th, 2014
  • 6 min read




After two unsuccessful failed marriages to western women, I want to finally fulfill my lifelong dream of marrying an oriental woman, a Thai. To me they are the most beautiful ladies in the world, and from what I've heard, they treat their men right. I've been researching all I can find about the subject, and am always willing to take any heartfelt advice.

I'm going to visit Thailand next March, and probably will stay around two months, sightseeing and seeing if I can find love there. I know sometimes looking for love doesn't always work as well as just finding it, but I'm willing to give it a try nevertheless.

I'm a 58-year old white male, non-chauvinist who has been taking good care of myself through regular workouts for 40 years, and believe a woman and man in a marriage do whatever it takes to make things work, doing equal shares of the cooking, cleaning and work. I own a modest home, and make ends meet every month working in a sporting goods store, so I'm far from wealthy. And there's the core of my search, to find a woman that isn't after money first but companionship and growing old together.

I don't want to berate western women, as there are some that are fine women, but for the most part, what I see written here and elsewhere, Thai women are by and large the better choice for a mate. The unrealistic expectations I've experienced with western women have left be a bit jaded to where I don't want to go there anymore. I know all women have their needs, but I believe as a man I can meet most of what a man needs to do, especially since I don't see women as objects but as partners, and all I've ever wanted was one that sees me as the same.

At this stage in my life, I'm beyond tired of the games some play and just want to spend the rest of my life in relative peace with someone that wants the same. The only hard thing I can see, is finding one that is willing to come back to Texas with me and live here. I know it would be easier to stay in Thailand, but I have my kids and a grandchild (soon another), that I couldn't leave behind.

I plan to fly to Bangkok, sleep over one night, then take a train to Kanchanaburi to see the Bridge on the River Kwai, and the railway that was built by the prisoners. It's been a favorite movie of mine, and it would be nice to see it in person. Then I'll take another train or bus to Chang Mai and stay there most of the rest of the vacation. I hear it's a better city for finding a mate.

After reading countless articles on the subject, and not wanting to waste my time near bars or with bar women, wanting a true moral one, I feel this might be the best choice, looking outside the main part of the city for a working woman that speaks English and letting everyone I came across know my intentions, so maybe they can spread the word to friends or family.

I also want to visit the Phuket area mainly to see the beaches and do a little fishing. I know this area is a tourist and party area, so that's not what I'll be there for, as it sounds like the bar areas throughout Thailand also.

I'd like to find a woman in her mid 30's or so, maybe give or take a couple of years, so that narrows down my search a lot.

I was thinking of joining ThaiCupid and maybe talking to a few ladies that catch my eye and meeting one or two when I arrive in Thailand and going on from there. I was actually, before reading all the posts, going to go to Isaan, in the country, and find a village woman, but after reading where a lot of the ladies go to Bangkok and elsewhere to make money in the bar scene, decided Chang Mai and its outskirts still might be the better place. I know I'll have a great time being there and seeing the sights, temples, meeting people and eating some of my favorite food every day, and finding a woman would certainly be icing on the cake.

I see so many stories of people who have found love there and would like one of them to be me. While there, I can take side trips to Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos and Myanmar, so that's another bonus of being there. I'm planning to go in March to avoid the rainy season, as I'd like to spend as much time as possible walking around and seeing things.

If you or anyone else can give me any more advice and to let me know if my plan sounds good, please let me know. It's nice to have others that are willing to help out in this way.




Stickman's thoughts:

My first piece of advice is to take your time. Too many guys get serious with the first lady they meet. It would help to meet a few ladies simply so you have a wider frame of reference.

One challenge might be that you're looking for a lady 20+ years younger than you. That's doable, but do remember that a lady who goes for a man 20+ years older than him may well be looking for security and I am not sure a man with a modest income can provide the security and the "upgrade" that such a lady may be looking for. Also, that you wish to take the lady to Texas means that, certainly in the interim, she won't be able to work, which means you're going to have to take care of her. And merely taking care of her may not be enough. Thais are generally content in their homeland and while many want to travel, few want to relocate abroad. Those who do tend to do so if they perceive a major upgrade or perhaps material gain can be made. Let's say, for argument's sake, a lady you meet works and is supporting some family members or children. If she then goes to the States where she cannot work for a period, she is going to have an expectation that not only can you support her, but you can also provide for those family members she was supporting back in Thailand too. OK, so every lady is different but when there is a significant age gap one has to be realistic about the reasons a lady would marry an older guy – and security and material gain are certainly major reasons.

I would sign up for ThaiCupid as that's one way to get to know a few ladies but I would reiterate that you should try and meet a number of ladies and don't rush into anything. Good luck!