Stickman Readers' Submissions September 8th, 2014

Thai Girlfriend in the West

I will try to keep this short because I really want you to read all of it. I am late thirties, fit, fairly handsome and quite intelligent. The most important part is I am a strong seeker of the truth, and lies do not sit well with me, just like the people who tell them.

I have travelled to Asia many times, and have spent quite a lot of time in Thailand. I have learned some things about the culture, but certainly do not know it all! As far as girls in Thailand go, I have played with girls in the bar scene, met some good girls too, but have never had a Thai girlfriend before. I didn't get emotionally involved.

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Ok, I live the quiet life; a mate invited me out one night with some Thai girls here. I met a girl and we liked each other. Apparently she had just separated from her ex-husband who had a fair bit of money, but he was the one who told her to leave. Anyway, we spent time together, I met her friends etc. Most of her friends were either separated, divorced or cheating on their husbands, and most of the guys had money to some extent.

I just observed whenever I saw them, her etc. She told me stories of girls here she knows, some good – maybe, some outright gold diggers. My girl is from Isaan, and came here via the last husband. I slept with her on the first night, and my first thought, basically at the time she gave me head was she could be an ex bargirl. (I was no means being dirty then either).

She had a couple of tattoos, but I know that doesn't always mean anything. Some of the girls she hung around were attention-seeking, lying cheats. I really didn't like being around such shallowness, and they were always going out drinking. After a time, some things happened, and I heard gossip within the little Thai community.

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Money seemed to be a topic often, change was withheld when I gave some money for food, there were a couple of requests early on for me to buy some things for my girl, one was a brand new expensive phone, and of course I declined. She never worked and was always supported by the boyfriend or husband. There were things I liked about her and things I didn’t, mainly that I just couldn’t trust her, especially with the people she hung around being dodgy.

To sum it up, I saw that the Thai friends seemed to lie to each other, possibly cheated each other a couple of times, and some of my girlfriend's stories never fully made sense either. I have seen all of this with bargirls before. The disturbing part was that they seemed to trust each other even though it was clear to me that sometimes there were many grey areas in their stories. My girlfriend is always thinking I want other girls, which I don’t – and I never cheat on partners. Or could this be a case of beware the accuser?

Basically, I didn’t know who to believe sometimes, my girlfriend included. For me to be in love with someone who I can’t fully trust is self-destructive. The worst part for me is all the constant grey areas that don’t often exist here in the West. I could give the world to the right girl, but only if she is pure of heart. I just can’t dedicate my life and say it's forever to a girl I don’t trust, period. Stick, there are many stories and incidents I have left out as it would be just too long, mate.

I have split up with my girlfriend now, and for me it will take some time to heal my heart, but I believe it was the right thing to do. As for her though, I think it possible for her to go out with her friends, meet someone, fxxx them not long after we have split up. For reference, Stick, the last 20 plus years she has been supported by Farang, two she says, but are there more grey areas? She is the same age as me and very attractive, the type of girl that would have guys hitting on her a lot if she was in a nightclub, and I believe nightclubs make her partly happy.

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Thanks, Stick, for listening, and I hope I hear from you with your thoughts.

Ross from Oz

Stickman's thoughts:

From what little you have said it sounds like she may well have either come from the bar environment or she has settled in to a lifestyle that is similar to a lady who has come from a bar i.e. she is supported long-term from a young age with no plans to work / earn a living, she likes to party with friends, she is promiscuous, she lies and there are many things that just don't add up.

From what you have said about her and what you say about yourself, splitting up with her was probably for the best. She hardly sounds like relationship material.

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