Readers' Submissions

Sukhumvit Machete

  • Written by Anonymous
  • September 20th, 2014
  • 4 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok



I have been an occasional reader of Stickman for about a year now. I found it while trying to get insights to Thailand as I planned a trip there. I visited and fell in love, of course. I find the people lovely, kind, and very good to me. I've had a wonderful time here, and am currently on my third visit since that first last October. I do now have a caveat, because yesterday I was witness to a horrific act of violence.

I was walking home from Sukhumvit Soi 22 to my hotel on Sukhumvit Soi 26 in broad daylight. It was about 3 or 4 in the afternoon. I don't want to rewrite the entire scene, but will copy in what I wrote to my mom back in the States as soon as I was back in my room:

OMG! (That means oh my god in computer language). I have a story to tell you. First, let me say I was in no danger at all.

After spending a wonderful afternoon drinking beer and playing games with people at a bar, I was walking back to my hotel. I hear a man shouting and look up and see him pointing. He's clearly off a bus that's parked askew, pointing at a man who is walking towards me. I look at the man. He looks crazy, is glancing back, and carrying a large parcel. I think he has stolen something but I'm not home, don't understand anyone, and can't act but more people are screaming now.

The guy has passed by me and I turn to look back at him and start considering fucking him up. He starts unwrapping the parcel and it's a god-damned machete! Still I know it can be innocent and I don't need legal problems in Thailand so I decide not to take the guy down (and I could have fucked him up good) but to go check the bus. I rush to the bus, look in and am horrified to see a lady sitting there all hacked up.

Priority one is her. I struggle with that because I see now none of the Thais are going to get the man but, more surprisingly, she's sitting there spurting blood and no-one is seeing to her. I jump on the bus and start shouting for any kind of cloth. I see a lady with Kleenex and she gives them to me. I get control of the bleeder on her right wrist and clamp down with my left hand while my right looks for other active bleeders. She's got a horribly giant scalp laceration and another equally horrible open right shoulder. There's so much blood I can't assess much more but the squirting from her wrist is under control. It looks like a butcher shop.

Two Thai ladies jump in and I'm directing traffic, it feels like the good old days in ER. There's enough people now that I feel good that the fucker with the machete won't make it back without warning and I start asking if they even have 911 around here.

A good 10 – 12 minutes go by, the sidewalk is packed with gawkers, people have cell phones out everywhere and I'm sure I'm on 100 Thai cameras.

The cavalry finally arrives and I help them get her head wrapped up and let them know as best I can that it's the wrist that caused the lake of clotted blood on the floor.

A little old man jumps in and starts talking English to me so we chat a bit. Then I leave.

I'm sure it was quite a scene, this giant American black man getting off the bus covered in blood.

The little old man stops me and thanks me profusely and I head back to the hotel where I go to the desk and ask for someone to let me into my room because there's no way I can put my hands into my pockets. They too thank me on behalf of all Thai people and got me taken care of.

You're right, I find trouble wherever I go but I'm ok and I don't want you to worry. The funniest part is not a soul noticed the blood on my arms and hands as I walked the half mile back to the Hilton.

Lessons learnt:

* Shit can happen anywhere and faster than you think
* Always be observant and trust no one farther than you can see their hands
* Watch out…always




Stickman's thoughts:

Good on you for helping, even if it is not always the best thing to do in Thailand.

What I don't understand is the way you keep going on about how you could have fxxxed people up. What's that crap all about? Leave that attitude at home, thanks.