Reply to “Burned by a Woman from Isaan”
Initially when I read this garbage, "Burned by a Woman from Isaan", my first thought was to write one of my acerbic subs ripping this guy to shreds. I hate this type of Thai bashing because generally it comes from misguided, bitter people who probably should have known better. My second thought was to laugh it off as another "farang fxxxs up in Thailand" story which always give me hours of amusement. Finally I thought na, this one definitely deserves a reply but I will sit, be jai yen and compose a balanced reply to this nonsensical drivel.
Why is it that a certain sub-group of people seem to disembark the plane at Suvarnabhumi with no semblance of intelligence, forethought, common sense or rational thinking and pass through customs with nothing more than a suitcase, a pocketful of money and 1 bag full. On a side note, I know of only a handful of truly rich people that have decided to retire in the Kingdom, not that Thailand is a bad place but those with big money seem not to chose this as a retirement destination. I know personally my dollar will go much further here than back in Australia, New Zealand or Europe for that matter but I digress.
The title and subsequently the length of Anonymous' submission should have been "I am a goose, don't do what I have done." Full stop end of story. It isn't quite 800 words though! Unfortunately though even that wouldn't work as these things just keep on happening again and again it doesn't matter how many subs are written or stories are told, obviously some people just never learn. There are so many inflammatory things in this sub it is hard to know where to begin. The title, for instance. Why not "I was Burnt by a Thai Woman?" or just plain old "I was burnt by a Woman"? It's like the people of Isaan are some breed of vindictive, sociopathic people that love to rob farang. At least you had the decency to admit that not all ladies from Isaan were like that but it is a small consolation coming from someone like yourself. The only premise of your story that I give any credence to is the part where you say a certain group of people are more vulnerable to being rorted (but not by sociopaths I doubt in this case your clinical diagnosis).
The whole premise of your story is preposterous:
"It happened for two main reasons: the first being that I wanted to retire here and the second being that I thought I could improve the life of someone else."
If you wanted to retire here, whoever said that involved getting married? I know many people that have retired here and have never contemplated marriage at all! They may partake in some ladies company from time to time but marriage has never entered the equation and certainly isn't a prerequisite for retiring here. The second one, well, if you were felling philanthropic why not donate to a children's charity? Or an orphanage, or a hospital? Or a fxxxxn stray dog shelter for that matter where your money could do some real good in a beautiful selfless charitable way? Hindsight being 20/20, it probably would have been money better spent. I don't think you were trying to improve her life at all! I would say you were thinking about your own self interests, primarily in the groin region! I love this colonial, egotistical view that you are some Cinderella, knight in shining armour story where you can improve the plight of the poor misbegotten Thai girl. The fact is that Thais are a proud people. They love their life and sure they will take whatever money they can (as we all would), but they think day to day not about tomorrow (which many like yourself have learnt after giving a bargirl 20,000 baht one day and she has nothing left tomorrow). Yesterday never happened and tomorrow never exists, it is just a countless number of todays, which many assume make the Thais seem cruel or callous, but it is an integral part of the sabai sabai lifestyle. If you are attached too much to the past, or worry too much about the future then frankly you aren't living in the present which is really all that matters. Case in point, those that have read my previous ramblings know that my mongering days are over and for some reason even I don't understand I am now happily married. For all that, what little luxury I have provided to my wife – the house, the car, the gold, the air-con etc, I have never committed more than I could readily walk away from. Truth be told, she doesn't want or need it either. She would survive and live quite happily and comfortably without it. Especially Isaan, I could put the best sirloin up on the table every night but the Thais would still be eating larb moo, som tum, maleng, gop, noo and every other species that crawls the earth by choice and no matter how much money or Western value I sprinkled upon them, shit wouldn't change. They would all still sleep in the same room on a half-inch mattress on the floor. They would still be all out the back eating together. They would still all love their family more than they love you, just as they always have done before you arrived. At the end of the day, as nice as it is while it is there, your money don't mean shit! Not now, not then, not ever!
Back to the story though, besides Stick's accurate comments which cover the basics, "Where did you meet her? What does she do? What was the age difference?" and all the other of hundreds of variables of which you provided little detail. A couple of things stayed with me, for example:
"I knew she was lying a lot and I knew there was a strong desire for money. and I doubted their capacity to do this and my lawyer in Bangkok said I could keep the sin sod of 200,000 baht if I pulled out. Unfortunately I had given her half the sin sod already. and I decided to pull out because I realised about $1,000 AUD was missing from my wallet and I accused her of theft, which she denied. Then she changed her mind and said she’d only taken $200. Later her brother opened his wallet in front of me and I saw a $50 AUD banknote in there."
That's 6 big red flags in 6 sentences, and on and on and on it goes! The unfathomable thing about people like you is that you wish to place the blame on the girl where clearly by any reasonable person's understanding you were the mug. My apologies, I said I would try to be balanced. See, in my more wicked days when I paid to play, the boys and I thought it was quite amusing to try and get the bargirls. We would play stupid and pretend we didn't speak Thai and basically try and look like the average first time slack-jaw newbie as best we could every time we came here. These tricks included but were not limited to asking a girl out for dinner and then inquiring if she would like to bring some friends along (and see how many turned up). Or better yet, taking her to a quality farang restaurant and see if she ordered the steak or the lobster just because she could (which they hate) or Thai food, or leaving "baits" all over your room like a wallet on the table or a couple of hundred baht on the dresser or your gold in the bathroom and seeing if it was still there in the morning. Or my personal favourite, giving them the keys to the city. I used to grab a girl then withdraw 10,000 baht from the ATM, give it to her and tell her to look after me for the rest of the evening. It was all a game as most people understand it to be and we used to laugh our arses off at some of the things that used to happen. In all my 20 years of trying and testing, I must admit sometimes expecting the worst from some of these girls not one, let me say it again, NOT ONE of them ever took so much as a satang of me that I hadn't given them….so go figure.
Which brings me to those that are an easy mark. If you delve deep into most of the sob/horror stories about Thai girls I would bet that a majority would involve an elderly man, a much younger girl and thinking that by pouring said money down said girls throat he could make her love / respect / stay with him. WRONG! So unfortunately for people such as Mr. Anonymous and the other recent unfortunate, CiderheadBrit, these people when confronted with the truth and the harsh realities of the situation still refuse to believe it is happening and keep on continuing down the same road with the same girl. They literally can't see the forest for the trees. As Einstein said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." Which leads me to believe that there are some people who must be more receptive to, or are more accepting of, this type of behaviour. I know and have met hundreds of people over the years here and the vast majority are quite happy, have never been taken, didn't have bad relationships and apart from some of the trying stuff you have to put up with still think Thailand is a fantastic place to be!
I don't really have a conclusion for this one. Suffice to say I am over Thai bashing. I would state further keep your head up, your eyes open, your back to the wall and a hundred other clichés. Clearly the truth is some have always and will continue to come here, leave their better judgement at the airport and go on to do stupid, nonsensical things that they would never DREAM of doing at home – and then expect some degree of sympathy or compassion when it all goes pear-shaped! Cue the bleeding hearts that always seem to side with the farang in these stories knowing full well, they probably, for the most part knew from the start what they were getting themselves in to.
Play smart out there.