Stickman Readers' Submissions June 26th, 2014

Let’s Make A Baby!

After reading a few stories about Thai girlfriends getting pregnant and having babies, it reminded me of a few stories of my own I have hidden away. I guess now is a good time to unleash them to the public.

In my first marriage, the best sex I ever had was when my wife decided we should have a baby. Thus began many spontaneous and vigorous sex sessions. The very primitive purpose to procreate the species makes this simple act so very wonderful. Unfortunately, both of us must have been very fertile, as it was not long before the two stripes appeared on the tester. It was the same result for the three other pregnancies we had that produced one miscarriage and three wonderful sons. Soon after our third son was born, we decided we didn’t need a fourth son and my wife suggested a vasectomy. This seemed reasonable at the time as my wife had endured 20 years of hormonal contraception. I bravely appeared at my doctor’s office for my “snip”. It took less than an hour and only really hurt for one day, which was easily remedied by copious amounts of alcohol. But what I didn’t realize at the time, was that in a few short years, when I found myself a single man in Asia, that this was the single best thing I could have done to prepare for that experience.

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Soon after I moved to Singapore, I met a seemingly nice, non-bar Thai girl who soon became my girlfriend. She told me she was already on the pill so it didn’t occur to me to mention the snip. We were commuting to see each other between Bangkok and Singapore. One evening, after a few months of dating, I went to Changi Airport to pick her up. What emerged shocked and delighted me. My normally conservative dressing girlfriend had transformed herself into a stunningly beautiful woman dressed to kill even the most hardened of men. She was a vixen in the cab ride home and an animal in the bedroom after we arrived. When I emerged for work three days later, I was a very tired but grateful man. I stupidly thought this was a woman’s free expression of love but it was only a few weeks later I found out the real reason for this increased passion. She had decided on her own she wanted a baby and that my DNA was going to be the father. So it was with a heavy heart that I told her I could not give her what she now most wanted. She took it in stride, as she did most bad news, but I now believe that was the end of us. Thank goodness for the snip, as having a child at that time would have been the worst thing to happen to me, my girlfriend, or to my child.

As our relationship went downhill, I started to make more friends in Singapore. I became friends with a guy in my office and soon he invited me over to his condo for dinner. He was an American on a similar ex-pat package, but he was here with his wife and young child. It was a good evening and later he introduced me to me to his maid/cook from Indonesia. She was a striking young woman who was taking some time off from a degree in computer science in Jakarta to earn some money in Singapore. She asked if she could call me for career advice so I gave her my mobile number. I didn’t hear from her for a month or so and then one evening, after a particularly bad week with my girlfriend, she texted me.

The exchange was normal enough but soon our conversation took on a more carnal tone. I invited her to my condo for a drink and 40 minutes later she arrived wearing a low cut gown, sandals, and nothing else. It didn’t take long before we were in the bedroom. She said it was her second time and as she didn’t insist on a condom. I didn’t either. After a couple of wild sessions, she relaxed and confessed her satisfaction. Not with my performance but with the fact she might be carrying my baby. She said she knew I loved her from the first time she saw me and as she was now surely pregnant, we would soon get married and could live a happy life in Singapore or Jakarta. She still wanted her degree but that could come later. I realized this young girl had created an immense fantasy about me and our perfect life together. This startled me at first, but then I realized that between her six day a week job and my constant traveling, this fantasy balloon would soon deflate. And so it did.

CBD bangkok

With my time in Singapore now down to three days and estranged from my girlfriend, I decided to have one last fling. I checked into the Singapore Hilton, across the street from Orchard Towers. After a wonderful meal of tiger prawns and fried rice at Newton Food Center, I decided to take a walk down Scotts Road to the Towers. I went to the 2nd floor and entered the Ipanema. It was jammed with Filipino girls that night and one of them pinched my butt and gave me a sweet smile. She was short but very sexy with a fun personality. She said she was a maid in a large house whose ex-pat owner was visiting his homeland for a month. So she had a few weeks to goof off and decided to look for a foreign husband (I was still paying her, of course). Neither of us had a condom. But then she offered up a deal I couldn’t refuse. I had to promise her that if she became pregnant, I would marry her and bring them to America. Well, you know what happened next. Two days later, I paid her for two long-times and gave her my phone number as guarantee. I never heard from her again.

So, is producing a baby the best sex you will ever have? It certainly has been my experience. But don’t ask me why procreating the species really brings out the best in us, especially women. I have no idea. But some of you may think I was being deceptive with these girls. Consider that my girlfriend and the Indonesian girl did not tell their plans beforehand. If I had not gotten the snip, I would have unwilling donated to their cause – a lifetime of support for her and my child. I was deceptive with the Filipino girl, but if by some miracle a very strong hearted sperm had bypassed the snip and impregnated her, I would have lived up to my promise. But the real contract was sex for two days, for which I paid her very well. I am sure she and my other partners found some sex-starved customer that provided the goods I couldn’t.

Which brings me to the sermon part of this free lunch. Guys, it’s a cruel world out there when you’re out and about with a loaded pistol. Some of these girls, even the non-bargirls, are expert at getting what they want. Thinking with your smaller head makes it worse. And with child support being enforced more and more in Asia, love ‘em and leave ’em just doesn’t work anymore. If you are not able or willing to spend the next 20 years paying for a child, seriously consider the snip. Believe me, I lost no virility after my snip and now that I am past 60, I still have no problems at all in the boudoir. As these true stories show, the snip can really save you from yourself.

Stickman's thoughts:

Nice final paragraph. I am amazed how some guys come out with, "Somehow my girlfriend became pregnant." If you want kids, great, but if you don't, it seems like madness not to wrap up.

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