Don’t Blame Thai Girls, Blame Yourself!
I have been a regular reader of this website for a long, long time, and now and again I dip into the readers’ submissions section although I have never submitted anything to this section before.
I have lived and worked in Thailand but I've been working in Singapore for a long time now. One thing that I never understood in Thailand is the amount of guys who seem to have horror stories about Thai girls. They invariably seem to be an almost identical story over and over again. Man meets young Thai girl (normally in a bar where she is working), Thai girl speaks limited English, has very little education and sleeps with men she has no interest in, in exchange for cash. Man somehow falls in love with girl (no idea how since they can barely communicate) they enter a relationship / get married / she moves in and then starts to make financial demands or says "This is Thailand, you no understand". Typically the guy cannot meet these demands in the long run, as the girl bleeds him dry and the girl leaves and moves onto her next mark. Guy is devastated that "Nung" left him, he can’t understand why and they both repeat the process all over again with different people.
A few things I have never understood here. Why do guys come to Thailand and fall in love with a hooker who barley speaks English, has no education and sells herself for a living? Would the same guy date a girl from his country who had similar traits and job? Almost always these girls are normally short, pretty ugly and bad-mannered with dress sense that does not distinguish between work and non work.
I have a number of Thai friends who simply cannot believe why "us" farang would ever date girls like this and even worse marry them and have kids with them. Why on earth would anyone want to marry an uneducated, bad-mannered hooker? Surely your kids will be half of what she is? Would you want your kids to be like their mother?
What is even worse is guys seem to think these girls like western men "because they provide stability and are not immature like Thai guys”! Wrong! They are with you because they think you have money and if you are stupid enough to marry someone like them or fall in love with them then clearly you are stupid enough to give them all your money!
I would say most of these girls would rather be with a Thai guy their own age with similar interests and background than some dude she has nothing in common with who might be twice her age and she can barley communicate with. Every time I am in Thailand it always amazes me at the amount of mixed couples who are at restaurants / bars and either do not talk or have the most basic conversations or even worse, the guy is talking like a 5 year old to her to be understood.
I have friends who are in successful relationships / marriage with Thais and generally they all have the same traits – the girl speaks excellent English, studied or worked aboard in a professional job (not gone to some country on someone’s tab to sit in a house and be on the internet all day) or at the very least has a degree and a family who can look after themselves and not rely on handouts from some Farang.
I wonder how many guys would date a girl from their own country who always asked for money for her family to pay for the uncle’s bike, the grandmother's operations, the sister's university, a new buffalo? I don't think there would be many.
So, guys, don't blame Thai girls. Blame yourself for being the mug and have a little bit of a reality check next time you think you're higher on the food chain than some broke young Thai dude. As the reality is your girlfriend or wife would probably rather be with him than you! I think a lot of guys in Thailand really need to stop moaning about Thai girls and maybe try and date someone they have basic things in common with. The readers' submissions section is full of sob stories and anger at Thai girls but the reality is you only have yourself to blame.
There is a lot of truth in what you say. Sexual attraction should not be the primary attraction in choosing a life partner.