Readers' Submissions

Amsterdam vs Thailand

  • Written by Anonymous
  • April 17th, 2014
  • 7 min read




I have spent a month in Thailand every year for the last 8 years or so. I have been to Amsterdam twice, one week each time.

My last time in Thailand was December, 2013. My last time in Amsterdam was February, 2014.

I certainly was able to draw drastic distinctions between my experiences in these two monger playgrounds and thought I would provide my perspective on the topic.


The Location

I have been in Thailand during all the major "seasons" and I have been to Amsterdam during the summer and the winter. In terms of weather, well it's obviously not even something to discuss. Thailand is a tropical paradise, a place where you can feel removed from the world in many ways. Sit on the beach and get a tan. Amsterdam in winter is apocalyptic level cold. I had so many layers, and a hat and gloves and I was freezing! If I was outside I was miserable. In summer and spring Amsterdam weather is fine but you'll always feel like you are close to your culture…at least if you come from a western culture. Being immersed in a western city doesn't feel like a vacation to me.


Partying

In Thailand you can go to dance clubs, live music, bars, etc. Many destinations have these type of places but Thailand's take on these things always has women embedded in the experience. Wherever you go there are women that want to do you for money. While of course it's a business, any time you add more women to a party situation it's better. Partying in Thailand is the most fun I have ever had.

In Amsterdam, there are bars, clubs, live music. Live music is nowhere near as accessible or as good! The live music venues you might stumble in will have crappy Dutch rock most likely. Prostitution in terms of women just being at a bar and being aggressive isn't a thing. Even without looking for women I thought the Dutch nightlife was pretty lame. One thing Amsterdam has of course is legal weed. If given the option I wouldn't drink very often and would mostly just smoke. You can smoke weed everyday on vacation and feel totally fine in the morning. Two weeks of hard drinking takes its toll however. So having weed as an option for a night out can make for some more mellow easy going nights. Nice to mix it up a little and have it be totally legal! Yeah, no coffee shops in Thailand. If they make weed legal in Thailand then there would be no reason to die and go to heaven.


The Girls

In Thailand – massage parlors, gogo bars, beer bars, freelancers and escorts.

In Amsterdam – escorts, brothels, sex clubs, windows.


Escorts

This is really Bangkok vs. Amsterdam.

Thailand escorts 5000 baht (111 Euros) for two hours.
Amsterdam escorts 300 Euros for one hour.

All escorts I have gotten from both countries have been reasonably hot. Some have been downright stunning. In terms of beauty it's a tie. I will say this, in Amsterdam good luck doing a Dutch girl from an escort agency. I had Hungarian, Russian, 2 Ukrainians, and a Romanian. 50 / 50 blonde and brunette and all reasonably good service. None of the pictures are real by the way. Never…not once. In terms of service the Thai escorts were on another level. Total GFE…like Academy Award winning performances. One could be forgiven for thinking, "You know I think she actually likes me." All of the escorts in Amsterdam were hard and mostly cold. If you pay for two hours they relax and it is much more enjoyable. Worth 600 Euros to you? The bottom line, judging beauty as equal, the award for best escorts goes to Thailand for best service and price.


Massage Parlors

Obviously massage parlors in Thailand rock. I'm not going to bother giving the details of Thailand massage parlors – I just wanted to mention that in Amsterdam they have massage parlors. Handjob only…middle-aged Chinese women. Super lame. There is no contest here at all.


Gogo bars vs. sex clubs

Ok, you want to bitch about the gogo bars? Try this out.

In Amsterdam you go to one of the top sex clubs. Here is how it goes down.

You walk in and women are hanging out. All types of women. Completely beautiful. Model quality. Small club downstairs and rooms upstairs. In most places you have to buy a bottle for them to go with you. So crappy champagne for 200 – 1000 Euros. Enjoy it. 200 each for the girls and then you get in the room and they try and up-sell you. "Oh, if you want kissing it's this, if you want different positions it's this." Total scam, like everything else in Europe. I and a buddy went to this place and I had read all about it so I was fully expecting to pay out the ass. I just wanted to see what happened. 1200 Euros for two guys for an hour with their women. Plus I paid more in the room for "extras" meaning something other than missionary.

How bad do you think I was missing Thai gogo bars that night? Oh, so across the world that night one of you bastards was paying 3,000 baht for short time and pissed about it? lol. Yeah that is pretty out of line. :)


Brothels

I suppose the only comparison is brothels in Amsterdam to massage parlors Thailand.

Amsterdam brothel: 150 Euros. Did it three times. Decent. However I would take a threesome for 5,000 baht at Annie's soapy massage any day before a Dutch brothel. Not even close.


Windows vs. Freelancers.

Heading to a club in Thailand and being hit on by hookers kind of rocks. It feels almost real. The bargirl experience also feels more relaxed and natural. Maybe you will just buy her a drink and watch the game…or maybe you will barfine the entire bar and do them in a line. Those places have a nice versatility. Contrast this with the Window experience. You walk by windows surrounded by tourists and try and decide in a few seconds if you want to walk in there right now and have hurried sex for 50 Euros…100 if you want extras…I really hate windows.

I have two window stories. I personally only used a window girl once but let me start with my friend's experience.

My friend and I walk by a window. He likes what he sees and goes in. I tell him I will wait outside. I felt super cool of course just hanging out by red windows as people walked by. Just as my friend walked in the door a bachelor tour group was passing by. They were drunk as shit. The leader of the group noticed my friend had walked in. He said, "I'm taking bets! I give him three minutes!" I'm pretty sure they were all from England. Anyway all the men start throwing money around. One guy is collecting and guys are shouting out different time allotments. "I put 20 on 10 minutes."

There are literally 20 guys outside the window taking bets. Now a crowd is gathering. 10 minutes pass. I had long since shouted 20 on 15 minutes. I was sure between sex and before and after banter that was a safe bet. At 16:35 seconds my friend came out. Cheers went out as the men who took the plus 15 minute bet screamed in joy. They charged my friend and hoisted him above their heads and carried him around! He looked down from their shoulders at me as I collected my part of the winning and said "What the fxxx?!" God damn, it was funny as hell but yeah windows are not always very private.

After that experience I was even less excited about window shopping. Then one night I was extremely drunk. I was with several friends. I passed by a window and saw an Asian girl. She looked very Thai. I opened the door and said "Where are you from?" "Thailand", she said. I turned around and said to my friends, "Bye!" and walked in with her. She led me to a room the size of a closet. Once up there I spoke to her in the little Thai I know. I said, "Hey I know it's 50 but how about I give you 400 and we go party and do whatever." She was happy with that. We went to a Thai bar with all her friends there, went to a dance place and then her and I went back to the hotel. It was awesome. She was awesome but god damn, that was expensive.

In conclusion I mostly hate Amsterdam in terms of mongering. Cool city and thanks for the weed. But if I want to monger I'll go to Thailand.

Cheers,

American Ling