The Other Side of Isaan Women
There are so many negative stories about Isaan women. Maybe this one will turn out different.
After watching Hangover 2, I decided to visit Thailand. I spent a couple days of soapy sudsy sin in Bangkok and then met some friends in Patong for a week of sexual calisthenics. Not being a particularly fat or unattractive old farang, it was like being in Disneyland for big boys. I had a bunch of Hilton points so I went down to Karon and stayed at the Arcadia for a couple of weeks.
Walking down the beer bar soi at Karon Beach, I spotted a tall, painfully shy and frightened lady at one of the bars. The other girls from the bar came out to grab me off the street with the typical, "Welcome sexy man, where are you from, what is your name?" I broke the deadly embrace from the girls that snatched me from the street and sat down next to the tall beauty I had seen from the street. It was obvious she didn't speak English and my Thai language skills were in their infancy. As she looked at me with her sad frightened eyes, she melted my heart. Her coworkers hovered like hungry mosquitoes – I had to constantly swat them away :).
I ordered us drinks; she winced every time she took a sip. She said she didn't like to drink. In my broken Thai I asked her if she was hungry and ordered som tam and sticky rice from a cart on the street.
As we were eating she said "You no want me, have 'minead'".
I had no idea what she was talking about.
Then the bar tender said, "You never make money, you tell all farang you have minead!”
I had to ask and was answered, "No boom boom, have minead" (period).
I said "no problem".
I had a couple more drinks and tried to communicate with this beauty. I learned she had just gotten divorced from her Thai husband and he had basically ran off with some other gal, leaving her with the house (in her name) payments and no money / support. She had arrived in Phuket a month before but was afraid of job.
I didn't buy any of this for a minute so I played along. I asked her where she lived. She shared a room with 5 other girls nearby.
I asked her if she wanted to sleep in a comfortable bed and have a nice breakfast in the morning.
She said, "No smoke, no boom boom, minead” and rubbed her stomach like she was sick.
I said "No problem, just keep me company."
At this point the other girls swooped in, and in a frantic Thai conversation advised her on the appropriate fee to stay with me. So we worked out the price, I paid the bar tab and barfine and we went back to the hotel.
In the room I asked if she wanted a shower and I climbed in with her. Again she said, "No boom boom, minead".
I told her I just wanted to suds her up and then she could go to bed.
What ensued afterwards was, at that time, the absolute best sex I've ever had. No minead, just raw crazy boom boom. Mind you, I just finished a week of shagging a dozen different girls in Patong.
The second night I paid the bar fine, took her back to the hotel and went down on her. She must have had a half dozen orgasms. Then she hugged me and started crying. She kept saying "I never, I never". I couldn't figure out what she was talking about and she said Isaan men don't go down on their women. I asked for a reciprocal favor but it was obvious that she had no idea how to "smoke". She kept saying in Thai, "mai mee bpen ha, rean" or no problem, I'll learn.
We've been together for a year and a half now and it only gets better. She knows I still have a wife in USA. She moved back to Isaan and we Facetime daily when I'm in the US on business and travel Thailand the rest of the year. I give her 5,000
baht ($150) a month to make her house and motorcycle payment and she is my constant companion. I can want for nothing while she is around. She knows when I'm getting restless, goes to 7 Eleven and buys me condoms, tells me that she will
be waiting when I get back. Everything is "you choose".
After all the horror stories that other men have told about Isaan women, I wonder when this will turn into a train wreck. Like many uneducated women, she is dumb as a box of rocks but beautiful with a heart of gold. I told her that I'm not rich and someday I will retire. She says ok, you move to Isaan and farm rice – she has a large home and rice farm there. I bought a condo in Phuket and I'm pretty sure I could never live in Isaan. Perhaps someday I'll have to tell this tall beauty goodbye, but it sure has been nice having a gal that can stop traffic with her great looks dote over me at 55. So black eyes to the evil conniving bar girls that break farang hearts and rob them blind. I'm just thankful for this Thai lady that has made me feel 18 again. Her smile, when I turn her on to things she could never imagine because of her poverty, is incredible and breaks my heart.
Keep up the great site. Thailand, in my opinion, is one of the most wonderful and beautiful places in the world. Who knows, maybe I will sell my condo in Phuket and farm rice after all :).
It sounds like you have a good situation. I don't wish to burst your bubble but I wonder how long it will be until she wants a real commitment? 5,000 baht a month and seeing you every so often is not going to keep many women happy…..especially if she really can stop traffic!