The Story of Nantisa
I have read a lot of you guys' stories on here, so I think it’s time to contribute with my own.
In March 2013 I had my first visit to Thailand. I went to Phuket and ended up in Patong Beach. Before traveling I researched a lot on the net to find out the dos and don'ts and I thought I was well prepared for the trip.
The first 2 nights I took it slow, just going to the walking street and found a bar, took some beers and checked out the action, lots of girls wanted to keep me company but I declined, because I wanted to observe first.
On the 3rd night I went into Tiger Bar and met a cute bar girl. We had fun and she actually could keep up with me when it came to drinking. Well, she did end up very drunk, but it was fun. She wanted to come to my hotel room, but she didn’t talk about money…
We had a wild night with lots of sex and she was fun. The next morning though I didn't want anything more to do with her, so I gave her 1500 baht and said thanks…
This pattern repeated itself for 10 days, lots of sex with new girls and just fun, no attachment!
When I came back from the vacation I felt this had been the best vacation and I couldn’t wait to go back… I had gotten some requests for my FaceBook info, but I wasn't about to give out my FB with my son and family, not that I wanted to hide what I did in Thailand because I was very open about why I had chosen Thailand, but I just thought the mix of cultures could be too much, so I made a new FB profile for my Asian friends. Since my big hobby is photographing models, I started to add Thai models and photographers to my new FB. After maybe 1 month I had almost 200 new “friends". One day I started to talk with a girl, Nantisa. She was a part time model, worked for an online fashion magazine as English / Thai translator, was 26 years old and very pretty. I am 46.
After some weeks of talking we started to get feelings. I tried to hold back because I knew I couldn't go back to Thailand until December 2013, 7 months away, and I was sure we could not keep this going for so long. But the months passed and every day we talked for 1 – 2 hours in apps like Whatsap, Line, Tango and Skype. I was getting real feelings for her and she told me she was crazy about me. From the beginning I was firm about not wanting to send her any money, because as I told her I don't really know you until we have met and you could be a monkey from all that I know. She said she understood and never asked for money. I did however ended up sending just 3000 baht to her a few times because I wanted her to buy something for herself. We talked about our last relationships and she told me she had been in France living with a man, but this guy’s daughter wouldn’t accept her and they ended up fighting a lot. They were going to get married, but at the last minute he pulled out because he couldn't find the money to pay the parents, so they ended the relationship. This was 6 months before I met her.
After months of talking December finally came and it was time to go see her. I was really nervous, because now it all became real. We talked a lot about how we would react and I told her I didn't expect anything from her. I was willing to take some time to get to know her once we were in the same city. When the plane touched down in Bangkok I could hardly wait to get out and see her and after what felt like an eternity I got my suitcase and went to the arrival area. I saw her right away and she was even more beautiful than in pictures. We hugged even though I said I wouldn't (because of culture) but she hugged me hard and it was wonderful. We go into a taxi and drove to the apartment I had rented.
We dropped of luggage in apartment and went out to dinner. We talked and it felt so natural like we had known each other for years. We spent a week in Bangkok and then we went to Pattaya where she lived. Her work had an office in both Pattaya and Bangkok, so that’s why she could stay with me in Bangkok for a week. We had dinner with her boss and colleagues and since she had to work from 9 AM to 6 PM I was alone most of the day exploring and doing tourist stuff. Then in the evening we went out, had dinner and then spent nights in the hotel room talking and having sex. I’m telling you I couldn’t have been any happier, since I had prepared myself by reading books about Thai culture we never had any real issues, except one time when we got into a silly discussion about where to eat dinner. All day I had talked about eating somewhere with a seafood buffet and she told me she knew where we should go. Then in the evening for some reason we ended up in Festival Shopping mall and no seafood buffet, so when I expressed my disappointment she reacted by pouting and not talking. Finally we ended up in a restaurant which was not really good, but it had a buffet with some seafood. All through this she is not talking. Finally I tell her I lost my appetite and motion that we are leaving. She follows behind me but doesn’t try to talk to me. At this point I'm mad and thinking fxxx you. So I start to walk faster and I don't look to see if she is following or not. Out on the street I ignore the taxis and start walking back to the hotel. It's about a 4 or 5-kilometer walk and after maybe 800 meters I thought I had better check on her so I stopped and looked back. She was not there. So after a minute or two I jumped into a taxi, while driving back I saw her sitting in another taxi and we drove around so I got to the hotel first. She was very upset when she came. She thought it was total abandonment from my side and she told me she could have been taken by people and all sorts of crap. Anyway, this was the only time we had a fall out in the month I spent in Thailand.
We talked about the future and she was onboard all the way. I really loved this girl, but I kept telling myself to hold back because I knew when I went back to Sweden, it would take months before I could see her again. She lived in a shitty apartment block and I told her I wanted her to move to something better and that I would help pay for it. So we found her a nice apartment in a newly build skyscraper on 28th floor with views over the city. She was very happy and I was too, because I felt better knowing she was living in a good area.
I felt so bad going back to Sweden. I missed her like crazy and we talked a lot. She missed me so much she said that she didn't want to eat or do anything. We were in love…
So 2 weeks after I had returned to Sweden I woke up in the morning and usually there is some sweet messages from her waiting for me. This morning there were only 2 messages, just saying good morning and that she had to go to work soon. I replied good morning and the reply came that she was in a meeting and would contact me later. She wrote again later to tell me she was on the way to do some other job and that she would contact me later….. Already I felt something was wrong. We had have a quite similar rhythm in our chats for the past 8 or 9 months so I was uneasy. Then she didn't contacted me before she left work and she told me: “BB will go back home now."
“And my parents are here."
“So will take care of them bb."
Now my alarm bells were in the red. Her parents live up in the northern part of Thailand and there is no way they would just jump on a plane to go see her without warning her. She usually shifted between working in the Bangkok office and the Pattaya office, so there is no way they would chance on that and she had not mentioned anything about them coming.
She didn't reply the rest of the day and I was getting pretty nervous. I knew something was up but I didn’t know what. Finally when she hadn’t written and said good night, I wrote to her that I knew something was wrong and that I would appreciate it if she would tell me the truth, not make up some bullshit story that insulted my intelligence.
So the following day I woke up and no message…
At 11 AM she wrote me: “Hello BB how are you?"
“I didn't insult you yesterday, but I would like to be polite and stop relationship with you, and I know it really hurts.."
“But I want to say really sorry, but I can't be with you anymore."
“and I hope you find good girl to be with you and make you happy."
I was in shock, my first reaction was that I got mad, I turned ice cold and asked her;
“What is the reason?"
“I still love my ex and I have my reason for me bb."
“I hope you not angry with me bb."
“I know you will hurt but I no less hurt than you."
Then she went on to say I was such a nice guy and it had nothing to do with me blah blah..
I was so mad, I just told her FINE!!
After a few hours all the questions came sneaking in; Why; How; Who?
I wrote her pleading for a explanation, all I got was:
“I have my reasons, one day you will see."
I was devastated, I didn’t know what to do or say I cried and felt so unhappy, all the dreams we built up she had destroyed with a few words..
I wanted to be strong and ignore her, so I removed her from both of my FB accounts and deleted all the pictures I had posted of her. I felt so betrayed and angry, but also sad and unhappy..
I tried again to get an explanation out of her, I told her I would do anything, all she had to do is tell me what.
She said she couldn't change her mind and even though I was hurt, she said she was not less hurt, maybe even more, I thought about that, but if you are hurting too, then why?
She didn't replay, all she said;
“I always think my family first…and one thing I do my best."
I had no idea what that meant, but I was so crushed that I wrote her a goodbye message and then cried for a while.
The next day I tried to send a message to her, but I could see she was not receiving it. She had blocked me. I started to write to her in other aps we had used and at first she read them, but one after another she blocked me from them all… I turned to FB, even though we were no longer friends we could still write and since we already had a dialog it would turn up in her inbox.
She read my messages but never replied,.. after the longest 3 weeks of my life I started to come back to normal. I felt I had no more tears to give her and I had thought that maybe all was not lost, when I returned to Thailand in April, I would find her and make her love me again..
On Valentine's day I wrote to her on FB: “Happy Valentine's day, I hope you are happy." She didn’t respond, of course.
Later in the evening I was lying in bed with my IPad surfing FB, my “Asia." FB has gowned to about 330 “friends" so it takes time to keep up with the news. Suddenly when I was scrolling down through the pictures, my heart stopped and my blood froze… There she was in a picture taken by one of our mutual FB friends who is a photographer and the title was: PRE WEDDING.
I was overcome with emotions. I cried and I cried for 2 hours. I couldn’t stop crying. How was this possible? It had only been 3 weeks since she broke up. How could she marry another man?
I wrote her on FB telling her she could have warned me about this, and again she read it, but no reply.
After a few hours I was calm again. I started thinking everything through and it all made sense. She told me family comes first, so her ex must have found the money to pay her parents and now she would sacrifice me so her parents could get the money. I felt sorry for her but also angry. Why would she not tell me this? She should have given me the opportunity to step in and marry her. I mean I'm pretty sure her parents wouldn't care if the money came from me or him. I remembered what she told me in the beginning, that they were paper married. She told me it wants a real marriage, but only for show, so now I realized that I had been a idiot for not digging more into her past, but she didn't mention this guy once in 7 months I had no idea he was still in her life…
Tuesday 18 February 2014 my FB just showed pictures from her wedding ceremony. Now she is married and forever out of my reach.
I imagine that there is more to this lady than meets the eye, things about her that you never knew, and probably some things about her that you thought you knew but you didn't know the truth. Some things just don't ring true. Really, from the way you have described the relationship with her, I'd suggest this is not the sort of woman you want to spend your life with and ultimately you're probably better off without her. It may not be easy to see things like that now, but I imagine in time you will come to agree.