See How You Are?
Everyone who has ever dealt much at all with folks from the Philippines knows this expression I first heard from Filipina BlackJack dealers in the states 15 years ago and all sexpats know this phrase who come over here to Angeles.
What I am addressing here is the common perceptions I read from sex tourists. As I now live over here I see my own perceptions changing.
At first I thought these bars were over-staffed and have too many chubby girls, but they sure are having more fun than the fake Thai humor I saw for so many years in Patong, Bangkok and Pattaya bars.
Now I have learned the old car business saying of "there's an ass for every seat" applies. Some guys like flabby girls. One can find whatever type one likes here, and she will speak English and be far more considerate than girls have become in recent years in Thailand.
Realistically we remember these girls do this for far more money in a night than they can normally earn in a week, if they could get a job with a contract longer than 6 months. Here one can take home a outrageous beauty, even some tens if one wants a girl they are enchanted with her physical perfection although she is often not too exciting in bed. Or we can take home a 19 year old young mama with features in the 7, or 8 range and enjoy her more. Whatever style a guy likes he can get here in this huge market.
But, still, I thought "oh man, the infrastructure is so much better in Thailand and the food, oh yeah, I'll stay. So since 2006, I went back and forth and always felt the Thai girls were like a cold shower after here, slender and adorable, but cold and disdainful of our culture as Anglos. So, I just thought, I 'll go back and forth and enjoy both.
In the Philippines people are raised to have a high value on politeness, not just face and materialism. So when one has a problem in the day trying to tend to those details of life, it is solved respectfully and in English. I dread the angry Thai clerk who just doesn't know what this alien is trying to accomplish and explodes with anger. We have all had this happen. Say what you want, but I just don't want to speak Thai although I have learned several hundred words. It is simply too difficult and, honestly, it seems as if many Thais cannot speak it either as it seems to take pages to explain what I can do in a paragraph in English. I do speak another language from English and did not find it as tough to learn as Thai. But, in fairness I learned German at 21 and started Thai classes at 56.
Maybe this is the reason so many of us older guys are migrating over to the Philippines. As a US military veteran, I just got a lifetime visa for $2,970. In my early years in Thailand I read once that the Thaksin administration would issue such visas for a million baht. I get my social security deposited in local Angeles City banks. I could not figure out how to do that in Thailand although I heard Bangkok Bank has a NYC branch.
Sure it looks rough here, especially if one wanders through the beggar stations along Fields. I just avoid Fields unless my stable needs replenishing. That may sound arrogant, I do not see myself as some slick cocksman, but an experienced customer who has learned how to get by. When we get older, we do not want to sleep with anyone as the next morning is 100% our own and not a gesture of taking care of a sex worker as if she is a girlfriend.
As I wrote to my friend Stickman this morning, the biggest difference I can see besides the relaxation of speaking English and not sounding like a grown man doing baby talk in Tinglish, is that the women seem much more sincerely looking for a man to help their life. And the price is lower. We enjoy the refreshing honesty and do not delude ourselves about what a cool dude we have miraculously become. More fun, less feeling of alienation.
Many bar girls have no other options and come from huge families with their role being "breadwinner." Of course, if one meets girls outside of the sex industry, they can meet ladies who are educated and earn money and may not want children. So, in this way Thailand and Philippines are not so different. A wife is possible, and not a terrific burden. Not so easy in the sex industry.
That said, older guys may not want anything more than short time and a form of friendship that tolerates multiple relationships. That is the program I like, and I note many other older boys seem to feel the same. This is always subject to change in life
as I have seen many of us drop our defenses when the right set of features comes by. No one is immune from all females :)) and their impressive traits.
After this past month, I notice I am smiling more and many aches and pains have lightened up, possibly due to the stress I had of dealing with people who often seem to dislike us. We know Thais are going through hard times with the political climate gaining intensity as we all wonder what Thailand will become. Touring expats all seem to be singing the same song about the more welcoming treatment here. I think Thailand has many challenges ahead and especially for the Thais themselves. As generalizations go, I have had many good interactions as well in Thailand but, I never feel accepted there. Just tolerated.
To me as a long term visitor, it is sad as I had big fun for many years and experienced much joy and kindness in Thailand. I hope the best for the Thai people and have moved to where I feel more welcome, not necessarily anyone's fault. Just how things feel. I am still grateful for the many experiences in Thailand. Maybe I am too old for it now.
From everything you have said – some comments in submissions along with our email exchanges or chats over coffee, I can completely understand why you made the move to the Philippines. I count down the days with excitement when I am about to fly away from Bangkok to somewhere new. Conversely, when I am away and the time to return to Thailand is getting Thailand, I am generally not looking forward to it. I know how you feel…