Readers' Submissions

The Art Of The Gee

  • Written by Starky
  • January 31st, 2014
  • 8 min read



Firstly my apologies to Stick who is a Korski fan. I wasn't expecting a "translation" of his tremendous submission. I understood (surprisingly for a fairly pickled seafarer) what Korski was trying to convey. I just thought I would offer my views on that particular situation. I knew I shouldn't have done it, writing a submission against Korski does nothing but invite trouble. Ah, to be able to sit on high and lord over what is "right" and "wrong" must truly be an enlightening position to be in. Fortunately I am an Aussie and love nothing better than taking the piss, and as any Aussie will tell you, the art of "geeing" someone up is all about getting them to bite. Well Korski sure did. My submissions are exactly what I proclaim them to be – biased, probably highly inaccurate views of myself and the people who I know or have met over the years. I never sprout crap about the so-called "facts" that some would assume they know. I would never speak for anybody else and would never presume to. My thoughts and opinions are my own. I, however, will unashamedly and unreservedly say whatever, whenever, wherever and to whomever I please. Now to call me "wrong" is Korski's prerogative but I believe that outside of maths and the sciences which are based on irrefutable truths that no-one is truly right or wrong, each to his own. It depends on your own reality. Nor am I trying to perpetuate myths or bag AC. It is simply my views of my experiences in the Philippines and AC specifically. Seeing as Korski has taken the time to attempt to discredit me point by point, I reckon I am due a right of reply.

First, I never stated once that I thought Frank was a "cheap Charlie" or thought he was. I simply stated that being in the Phillo's, any monies he may have spent were probably considerably less than other places. That Annabelle just wants more and more and better rice and private cars and blah blah blah is something we have all experienced over time particularly with bar girls. Dig deep into your underwear, Frank, and see if you can find your balls somewhere down there and say "NO". If she won't stay with you then perhaps you are with the wrong girl. Yes, Frank is easily replaceable as I said he barely knows her, has made no real commitment over any significant length of time and quibbling over the quality of rice you buy will hardly endear her to you. My point being we have all taken girls home to meet "the family" and girls will invariably try it on. You determine what you spend or what you don't and anybody that has spent any length of time with a Thai or Filipina especially a bargirl has learnt to set the boundaries good and early. Those in long term relationships and marriages understand that a point in time comes when you draw the line. You might spend 100 baht notes like they are going out of style when you first meet; eventually though you tell your missus in no uncertain terms that uncle is NOT getting 1 more lousy bottle of lao kao. You are only a mug if you allow yourself to be. It is also her way of determining what she can get out of you.

To say I know nothing of Angeles City is more subjective rubbish. Despite the fact that Angeles is very accessible from Subic, I have spent years and innumerable trips in the bars of Angeles, Manila, Barretto and all the other bars in the Phillo's ( and Singapore, Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Africa, Europe and any other foreign port where I could find a strip joint or bar to lurk in). I only mentioned that I had lived in the Philippines for reference. I am not dumping on Angeles, it just isn't my cup of tea. Despite that I still go fairly regularly but as I said, 3 days generally pulls me up. I do however have 30 odd friends who have long time relationships and marriages with girls from Angeles and they would be the first to tell you that no-one truly wants to live there.

Food isn't really worth going on about. I merely meant to imply that the Philippines isn't exactly famous for its national dishes but more relies on the American influence. You can also get "decent" German, Italian, English, Spanish or any other country you would like to name, meals in any place that an ex-pat resides. I would also say that "decent" food is a long way removed from some of the world class restaurants you would find in Vietnam, Thailand and other parts of South-East Asia.

As for my thoughts on day-time activities, as I said you would want to have a good hotel (should have specified with a pool apparently), unless you would like to travel to other hotels to check out their pools! Maybe you could take the time to do a "pool crawl" of the various hotels in AC. Oh yes! and there is billiards… tremendous! What a fantastic way to waste an hour. I also stated the massages are better in Thailand, again my opinion, and I wasn't even talking about early opening bars or clubs, I was talking about things to do outside the bars. It's OK, though, we can all play billiards. Let's not forget the 3, count em 3! live music venues. I was also not just talking about the naughty boy scene which is all, again in my apparently incorrect opinion, really all there is to do in Angeles. The reason Thailand is so popular for many, is that for more than a few of us, it's not all about getting your dick sucked. Some of us enjoy doing other things in between short times. Personally when I am fxxxing I couldn't give a rat's arse if she only spoke Swahili. Believe me, I am not there for the conversation.

Wow! This is turning into a rather lengthy piece. How wrong can one man be? Well it appears according to Korski, quite a bit. For those of who I haven't bored to death yet, let's push on. Now Catholicism may not be a big issue but for mine it helped explain why there are higher incidences of STDs due to the fact that the girls don't use condoms or have the same level of awareness as in other countries. By which I meant due to their Catholic upbringing fxxxing foreigners for cash may not be the most ideal career choice. Also, Catholic guilt can also influence the thoughts and feelings of family and friends, where Buddhists don't have the same hang ups about working in bars or sexuality. Your duty to your family in Thailand and most of Asia is foremost. I think I clearly stated too, that like all bargirls her reason for being there was primarily monetary, which was the WHOLE POINT of my tongue in cheek submission. ALL sex industry workers EVERYWHERE are ALL about the money. They may have a million different stories or excuses or ways to justify it to themselves but cash is number one and always will be.

Nearly there! I think you would find that many mongers do go to the Phillo's for the advantages you get in the Peso compared to the Baht. The fact that the barfines (which is all you pay in A.C. no money for the girl in the morning) and most things generally are much cheaper, that and the fact that the girls do speak respectable English. As I also stated, the girls of the Philippines are truly beautiful and the best of the best could be some of the most beautiful women in the world. Compared to Cambodia, the industry is much better developed in the Philippines.

Finally to probably the most offensive piece of tripe in Korski's retort. Let me make this clear, I have NEVER had a bad experience in the Philippines or with a Filipina (or any bargirl for that matter) as I have no illusions over who they are or what I am doing. I still travel there frequently and have numerous girls I regularly see, some from over the years who I consider friends. I also frequently visit the Philippines to meet the friends and family I have there. I also have many Philippino friends, as over my years as a seafarer I have worked with many Phillipino seaman and they are some of the most good natured, kind hearted, family oriented people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I have also constantly stated that far from thinking bar girls are "scamming losers", that I hope they can grab as much as they can. I fully support their industry and have done for years and I am stoked to see that girls have the opportunities, and ability to make much better money now. As opposed to not so long ago when the industry was so much more exploitive and the girls had far fewer options. You know about as much about my life as I do yours, so please don't have the gall to make assumptions about my life. I wasn't attempting to have a go at you, rather I was just giving my opinion of AC as I saw it, as I truly believe everyone is entitled to. My apologies for daring to question your all knowing, all encompassing views of the world and everything in it. Clearly you are the Oracle and as such far be it from me to doubt your "rightness". Being the good natured larrikin I am, though, I will keep writing my piss taking narratives as I see fit. The point is to get a reaction and to keep myself amused on boozy afternoons. Your opinion, mate, as whether I am right or wrong I will take with a very large grain of salt. Failing that, I will take your reality and substitute it with my own, or Stick maybe could in future only accept submissions from Korski because his anthropological knowledge of society is near Godly and therefore not to be questioned. Thanks as always for your time.