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Farangs Looking For Love In Thailand Are Losers

  • Written by John
  • January 9th, 2014
  • 9 min read




I know I’m going to offend a few people here but my intentions are not to offend but simply put my opinion forward, controversial as they be.

I have no problems with people of any race, marital status or religion going to Thailand and paying for the services of a woman / bargirl. It’s a business transaction and as long as both are happy / agree with it, then it’s strictly none of my business. The men involved in the transaction are willing participants, same for the women. I also don't buy it when a lot of women give of "I have no choice but to do this, I have a family / children to look after" excuse. Obviously, excluding child prostitution and human trafficking where they literally have no choice.

Now we come to pertinent topic of farangs looking for love in Thailand. I will come out and say it – the only words I can summarise them is "DELUDED LOSERS".

What would possess a farang, regardless of age, to pursue a proper love relationship with a bargirl is beyond me? It seems that any sense of logic and reasonability goes out the window once they arrive in Thailand. Is it something in Thai beer? Or the air? Or is it a unique type of person that does this?

As men we all get butterflies in our stomach when we fall in love. However I assumed this was just a puppy love phenomenon which we grow out in our late teens or early 20s. Do Thai girls really have such an amazing physical / emotional presence that results in men losing all sense of rationality and going bananas?

Would these farangs pay for the services of a bargirl equivalent back home and fall in love with them? I'm sure it happens but I doubt it happens to the extent it does in Thailand. Would they go gaga over a Thai woman living in a foreign country?

I personally find the concept of paying a monthly fee / sponsorship payment to a bargirl to be perplexing. Why would you want to pay for the lifestyle for anyone who does this for a living? Is it the caveman instinct within us since the caveman days? Would you ever do this back in your home country?

And on top of that most seem to believe that they are the only ones sponsoring them, and that this bargirl has gone from a bar girl to a good girl because now she can afford to live a reasonable lifestyle, and will now work in an office or open her clothing shop, what she always wanted to do for say 12,000 baht per month. Whether this is pure gullibility, or stupidity, or denial I will never understand.

After years of observations, I have come to a conclusion – which I had well before even stepping foot into Thailand, due to my upbringing. I find that most farangs looking for love in LOS are often what western society considers losers. These are the men that usually don’t do too well with ladies back home. I see a pattern of (depending on age) that most of these men are socially awkward, geeky, usually quite ugly, and physically unattractive. So the stresses and frustrations with their local ladies forces them to look for an easier alternative which I can relate to as I will explain later.

And to a lot of Thai girls, being with a farang man is a path to financial freedom and to be 'looked after' for life while being able to escape and live in a foreign country that often the media portray as the gateway to heaven.

Regardless, I seriously think Asian woman cannot tell the difference between an attractive Farang and an ugly one. I signed up to TLL about a year ago, and basically put no information in, no photo, just age, height (I’m not very tall btw), country, and some generic one line description with no mention to my income / job etc. etc. I didn’t get a view / msg / interest for the first 3 days, and on the 3rd day I got an automated msg from TLL saying "don’t worry, someone will show you interest soon". I thought if any girl shows any interest in my profile with literally my name, height, age, country and the lamest comment like "I have a great sense of humor and love walking on the beach", then they have just sent a massive spam out or are as desperate as a druggie looking for their next fix. Well a few days later as the generic email from TLL said, I had a moderate amount of interest, which was quite amazing.

That a lot of farangs, especially the older ones, seriously believe that their young 20 something year old beauty (to me often they are hideous but that’s another story) is so physically attracted to a 60-something man who has let himself go and would be considered undesirable back home, is astonishing. Often they boast about how well they have done and how their 1st and 2nd ex-wives back home were gold-digging, attention-seeking, demanding devils (how ironic!). It’s at this point where a lot of these men become quite cocky and look down on other people. Whether years of being put on a pedestal does this to someone or it’s all the vent up frustration over the years coming to light, I do not know.

And let’s not forget the yellow fever factor. Yellow fever seems to exist in western countries like never before. Whether it’s the media or its feminism in the western world rearing their ugly head I'm sure both can be attributed. I have met and heard so many white people of all ages say they only date Asian girls back home. Most I would say are what society back home would be considered as losers. A few of these men I’ve chatted to even admit "American girls don’t even give me a chance so I go for the easier Asians, they will take anything". Sure Asian women overall will make better wives, that I completely admit to, and they are far more feminine then their western counterparts. I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve heard "western women are no longer women any more, they are more like men, rough, rude, loud, drunks, and ball breakers". You won't get any disagreement from me, but I’ve also heard the "men are no longer men" type rebuttal which I also don’t disagree with.

I’ve only scratched the surface of my thoughts and without making this into phonebook, I will keep it short.

If you are still reading this, it means I haven’t bored you to death nor annoyed you enough.

You might be thinking "who the hell does this guy think he is, what gives him the right to judge / look down on us" and yes, you are right. I don’t blame you

Firstly, I am considered as an Asian American living in the US, born here, lived all my life, speak English, Spanish, Cantonese. I am half Chinese, 1/4 Singaporean, 1/4 Spanish.

I turned 30 in 2013, I actually look predominantly Asian, I’m not very tall (5ft 7"), I have a mix of friends, white, Asian, Hispanic and Eurasians. I know I am not ugly (without coming across as arrogant), I did a 12 month modeling contract in Singapore in 2008 with an option to extend, but I didn’t extend it as I didn’t like living in Singapore. That being said, being or looking like an Asian in terms of dating is not easy. I have had Asian, white, European girlfriends in the past. I really have no preference, I judge each person individually. If I had to choose my ultimate preference, it would be an Eurasian, a mix of two different cultures I can relate to. Regardless, I do very well with the Asian women. I will walk down the street or go to a club, and literally by the end of the night I have them throwing themselves at me with their phone number and Facebook details. This does me no harm and I must admit I enjoy the attention in small amounts. But when it comes to dating white woman, it’s a completely different story. I go from a scale of about 9.5 down to about a 5 or a 6. So that means that I receive a lot of rejection and even "how dare you think you are good enough to even talk to me" type comments whether this be online dating, at clubs, at parties or at a friend’s house. Whether it’s pure racism, stereotypes, or me just aiming too high, I am not sure but then it does not worry me too much. Admittedly, after 10 rejections like that it, it can start to hurt! We all have our preferences, and people are entitled to have preference.

How is this relevant? About 1 year ago, on a trip to LOS, I met up with a friend who used to live in the USA, and then moved to Thailand a few years ago and when I visited him he introduced me to a lady who was his friend’s sister. So, yeah, I decided to try something different and we've been chatting. I think I understand the majority of Thai bargirl type behaviour and I am being open minded. She grew up in Bangkok, her dad does a real estate business, until he died in a car accident, now her mother runs the business. She has a uni degree in IT, and visited me about 3 months ago in the US, staying in some fairly upmarket hotel. I visited her about 6 months ago for about a week while I caught up with my friend. In the back of my mind I always assume the Thai ladies have an agenda. However, with this one I have yet to see it. If I was absolutely crazy about this girl then it would be different, but I’m not. I guess all the stories and articles on the web have got me desensitized to the whole dating scene. I doubt she wants money as she has plenty of it, and I am just normal. Maybe she wants a visa? I doubt that too as she says the USA is not a place she wants to live in. I do not send her any money, nor has she asked for it. So I’m keeping an open mind about this one

Finally, getting off my high horse, maybe I’m one of these losers that I mentioned at the start of the article. Or am I deluded to think that I’m different? Maybe when I grow a bit older, I will let myself go and trawl around the bars of Bangkok and Pattaya, who knows?

My email is [email protected] and I welcome anyone to contact me. I’m not looking to offend, just share and discuss my and your experiences. Thanks for taking the time to read, John.