Readers' Submissions

Dear John

  • Written by Anonymous
  • January 23rd, 2014
  • 3 min read



Dear John, if I believe you, I am now a loser because I live in Thailand. I came here expressly to find love that I could not find in my own country. I have now found a Thai woman and we live together and have been married in a village ceremony.

Pretender, according to you I do not measure up to any conditions that may make me attractive to Western woman.

My life must be very miserable and without personal satisfaction.

YOU ARE BOTH WRONG ON ALL COUNTS!

I am not attractive to the western women who are available – and they are not attractive to me either. The ones who I would find attractive are already taken leaving only those who I have little interest in available for any relationship. Maybe these women and I have expectations that are too high for the available partners. In any case, it means that I would remain single back in my own country.

A little about me: I was divorced after 35 years and except for the last few years, quite happily. The empty nest syndrome appears to be the cause of the breakdown and I have no regrets about past life. I keep in reasonable physical shape and don't eat too much junk food or drink too much. My wife is less than half my age.

So what has become of me?

I came to Thailand where the cost of living is much less expensive than any western country. I was looking for some permanent female attachment and found a few that could have been suitable except for the fact they started to become expensive. Most were not connected to the bar scene and still their families treated me as their own ATM. I must therefore be a loser according to John.

NO! I am not a loser, I am a winner.

I am not unattractive to women here and even though I am sure they could have done better with more financially secure men. There were the occasional ones who were self-supporting.

Korski has penned a good reply to both these submissions and I concur with what he says.

There are many good mixed relationships here but there are never many of these people who say publicly in the forums how good it is. Only the aggrieved seem to post here.

I for one have found a wife here. It took about a year sorting through the bad ones to find her and she is, for me, the perfect companion. We have been together for more than 4 years now and it has not been easy sailing for us at times. We have both had to adjust to the other's cultures but in the end we have made it work. We have two children now and I have never been happier. The Thai extended family is supportive but it is only recently that I seem to have been fully accepted in to village life. Now I am permitted to help with little things round the farm.

We live for the most part in Pattaya where I keep myself busy. I don't visit the bars very often or the other attractions for which this town is famous except for the occasions when there are friends from home here who want a guided tour. Village visits are always laid back affairs with lots of drinking and eating. Yes, I buy beer and food for them as is expected of me. I refuse to buy the preferred rot gut alcohol for them and if they want to drink this they bring it themselves.

As far as money is concerned, I have been asked for small loans by brother and sister of my wife and loans are always repaid on time without reminders. I think wife keeps them honest for me. The parents have not asked for any money but I always slip mama a few thousand when we leave after a visit.

This is a great Thai family to be part of. The parents come to visit occasionally and usually stay for about 1 week. Never a problem and never ask for anything.

NO JOHN! I AM NOT A LOSER. I AM A WINNER.

PRETENDER, WHO CARES IF I DON'T MEASURE UP TO THE REQUIREMENTS OF WESTERN WOMEN BECAUSE THEY DON'T MEASURE UP TO MY EXPECTATIONS EITHER!

To all the men who come here looking for real or occasional love, just do it! Who really cares if you don't find the real thing as long as you are happy.