And I Always Laughed At The Water Buffalo
I have been coming to Thailand for over 23 years and have been an avid Stickman reader for at least the past 5 years. I always thought of myself as someone who has seen it all and known it all. Generally, the more we think we know, the less we really do know.
I am married but I was wavering between whether I wanted to be or not, and having meaningful dialogue with the wife as I was finally getting out of a 2½ year intense relationship with a 27-year old Japanese woman who managed to spend 3 million baht of mine over those past two years. My usual escape path from hurt had been to fly to Thailand, mostly Koh Samui for therapeutic massages, meditation on life, and of course, in this case, a path leading to immediate forgetting of my lost love, which we know of course, is utter bollocks and never happens, but we never realize it until we are in it.
At that time, I was mentally and physically preparing to deal with my lovely wife who is not Thai, but is very bi-sexual. I decided that I wasn’t interested in just getting my rocks off alone with some massage lady, so I had devised a system using Skype (my phone camera and my laptop camera) to get both angles and I would find ladies willing to masturbate live in front of the camera with me as my wife would watch from abroad and would essentially masturbate with the lady virtually as the lady would jerk me off, or I would do myself until my wife and I climaxed virtually together. We did this when we could because I love her very much, and she me, but frankly, she doesn’t love the cock, but the vagina, like me. So to have good sex with her I need to procure vagina for her viewing or touching pleasure. Sometimes porn works but live is even better when I can get it. With that in mind, I went and hired a woman from a nice massage on the island. I didn’t care what the woman looked like cause I wasn’t planning to fxxx her and subsequently she did the deed with my wife, we all climaxed and she went home as planned. However, when I went to the massage place I asked which lady would go and one volunteered (obviously the money was good). In the corner of my eye I saw one lady that just stood out from the others. It was not only her beauty but I felt something immediately, like a light emanating from her. I made a mental note that I would return for her.
Two days later, I returned and found Green. I decided at that point that I didn’t want to share her with my wife, but wanted to experience her alone. I took her back to my place and we had passionate sex. She was gentle, but passionate. She had a great smile and seemed to be totally in to me. Yeah, yeah, I know we all think that but I kind of believed for the first time and remember, I have been coming to Thailand for 23 years and hadn’t ever been hooked.
I told Green that I was married and she understood. I spent another week on the island and I basically hung out with Green, going to eat together, pool, beach massage. Green is in her early 30’s. She was married to a Thai man and has a 2-year old boy. She is from Nakhon Sawan. Her husband died of heart complications several years ago and she found herself in debt with 2 cars and a kid. Her cousin was “working” at the massage in Samui, so she came down to make money from the farang. She is not like most massage girls. She is not a career girl. She graduated from university, always held steady jobs, owned a restaurant. Her goal was simple: make enough money to pay for her car and go back to her hometown to be with her family. She is not from an impoverished family from Isaan. In fact, her mother and family own sugar cane fields and they eek out a paltry subsistence from this. Seeing pictures of their land and property, my guess is that they are lower middle class.
After I left Samui, I went back to Japan, the wife, etc. Green and I started to correspond on Facebook and other mediums. We always laughed together, we both have an active libido but her more than me. Every time we are together we have to fxxx at least once and she has to orgasm as least once or there is frustration on her side. Just touching her excites her so much that she literally rips my clothes off, gets it hard and starts to ride me until she gets close to climax.
Anyway, needless to say, 6 weeks later, I was back in Samui and I rented a villa for a month. Green was with me everyday. Now, the Thai culture lesson. I told Green about my wife and her proclivities. My idea was to have Green around and to share her with my wife, in a happy threesome. I broached the subject lightly with my wife who seemed unsure but intrigued. Green said she would try it. By that time I hadn’t bought the water buffalo (actually in Nakhon Sawan they use tractors, not water buffalos, but I like the image) but I was giving her some money of course. I still thought it would be a mutual transaction for the benefit of all parties. Green is very heterosexual but I figured for the right price and motivation I could get her to comply.
At the end of March, 2013, my wife arrived to see me in Samui. Green waited with me at the airport, decked out in a beautiful black dress with a bouquet of flowers. I thought how nice. Green drove us to the villa and my wife started to cry for the next 5 hours. To this day, I have no idea why exactly, but she was distraught. I had Green massage her, I kissed my wife and we both tried to make her feel better. Maybe it was hormones, so Green stayed the night. Nothing happened and she went home. One thing I should mention is that during those three weeks, unbeknownst to me Green fell in love with me (and I think I sort of did, but not completely with her). This wasn’t planned and kind of put a cog in things.
I guess my wife must have sensed this. Several days later I convinced my wife to see Green and try a threesome. She said no but she said she wanted to try with another man and myself. I am far from gay so I said there is no way I can watch a cock inside you and get hard. We compromised. I told her that I would get Green and she could pick someone. She picked a ladyboy, Ice Cream, and we all went to a hotel. It started out okay. The ladyboy licked out my wife, Green was kissing her as she got me excited. At some point as the ladyboy penetrated my wife, and I started fxxxing green, my wife started crying again. Everything stopped. I basically fxxxed my wife in front of both and Green was red with jealousy because she didn’t finish and my wife did. It was then that I gave up on my fantasy with the threesome. As I had decided my life was no longer to consist of flying back and forth from the States every 4 – 6 weeks from Japan where I work, I decided that being based in Thailand was quite palatable. Aside from Green’s acute jealousy, I was really very compatible with Green and my wife, was begrudgingly accepting. Stick would probably be thinking here, “Dude, you have a very understanding and accepting wife… keep what you got”.
So in August we moved to Samui and I again rented a villa in the same place. I don’t think of myself as a knucklehead who sticks his head in the sand. I am American yet I speak French and Japanese fluently. I have wanted to learn Thai for many years and this was my chance. Sleeping with a dictionary is of course the easiest way to learn, but classes helped. I attended Thai classes almost every day and I can say that after three months with hiatuses because of business trips to the States and Japan, I can hold a basic conversation. Although Green’s English is a bit better than my Thai, I am getting closer every day and I am extremely motivated to learn.
One of the starred contributors named Jayson said in his submission that there is no way you get more priority unless you speak Thai. Be as it may, my relationship with Green continued in Samui. I saw her every day, we fxxxed twice a day, and she took great care of me. I was totally honest (well almost — I lied to Green about having sex with my wife, which I did, maybe once or twice a week in addition to Green). She knew my wife of course, she spoke to my wife but both parties had a lot of animosity towards each other. Green would be red with jealousy every minute I was with my wife and my wife being Japanese had a passive aggressive way of dealing until her hormones kicked up and she would explode, which generally coincided to a period of about 3 days prior to her being on the rag. Everything was going between bouts of jealousy and animosity from both sides.
I took the wife to Japan and before I went. Green said to me.. If you fxxx your wife in Japan, you will have problems with your motorbike. Green is Buddhist and doesn’t eat meat and that according to Green and maybe some others makes her all powerful.
In any case, about a week after my return to Japan, I had a horrible motorbike accident. Actually, I was going with the wife for a late night “special” massage and I crashed the bike. I ended up with a complex shoulder / arm
fracture, had immediate surgery, metal plates inserted and later a terrible infection in the arm that led to a ten day stay in a hospital in Koh Samui where I was not properly treated for the infection. Five weeks later the infection was back.
I managed to get back to New York, and got taken care of properly. After 4 surgeries, I am on the mend and ready to go back to Thailand in about 3 weeks or so from now.
So, first issue for all of you to think about. Am I buying the water buffalo (or am I a walking ATM with Green).
1.) She is a single mother (husband died and left a son) making her undesirable for a single Thai man. She could be a mia noi for a Thai man because she is beautiful, even from Thai standards. Thai men always stare at her on the street.
2.) She tells me “money is number one” and is very pragmatic about money. Unlike former girlfriends (mistresses in my case is the better term), she puts the money to good use. She tells me exactly what she does with it, buys food, clothes for family, pays for her car, helps her mother. She buys very little for herself so even if I am a walking ATM, I feel good about giving it to her.
3.) She says she loves me. I know money helps but there are other single guys who would and have offered to give her money (I mean Farang men, of course). Why would she be with a married man. (I am in my mid forties and she is in her early thirties). I have never said I want to leave my wife and in fact, Green has never asked me to. She was herself born out of wedlock and never really knew her father. Her mother was a mia noi to her father, whom I assume was wealthy since he was able to afford that. But in any case, she seems generally in tune with the role of the mia noi.
4.) She is obviously very attracted to me, not just for money. I must say that I am attracted to her, but not only sexually. I also enjoy an excellent sexual relationship with my wife when I can get her to enjoy, which as stated above, involves various tools (vibrators also help enormously).
5.) After my accident, Green lived in the hospital room with me. Took care of me like no one else (my wife would visit and Green would go out for a couple of hours when she did), but Green bathed me, helped me go to the bathroom, etc. In fact, I have never had a woman take as good care of me as Green. Readers will say “Oh, you want a maid”. I am beyond that shit about equality. I bust my ass, make a lot of money, and am busy. I want a woman to take care of me and I have no problem taking care of her financially. It is a quip pro quo I have with everyone. Even my wife is like this to some extent.
6.) Green is a college graduate, not from Isaan (Nakhon Sawan is considered pak glang and near Bangkok). She was married to a respectable Thai man. Her circumstances were such that she had to work in a massage place. She is brutally honest with me about this.
Anyway, I feel like I am not just buying the water buffalo. I am helping someone I care deeply about and she about me. I am married and frankly in any country in the world, many women are going to expect some monetary compensation to be a mistress. It is just this way, so I am okay with it.
In December, I took Green to Japan. I pleaded with her not to make it public. She put all the pictures on FB publicly for my wife to see. My wife did and had a huge fit. She made me promise not to see Green any more. I was so angry at Green that we broke up, but that lasted 2-3 days.
Since I got back and had my operations in New York, we have corresponded. My wife prefers cold weather, and Stateside life. She has refused to go back to Samui unless I break up with Green definitively. I think I am in love with Green so I am going back, and taking my oldest son who also loves Thailand. So we shall see. Will I get divorced, will I break up with Green, will I find some compromise? I love both women dearly. I am living in the wrong century or in the wrong culture, but life is an adventure and maybe I bought the water buffalo while knowing but not knowing.
Any comments.. send to firstname.lastname@example.org
There's a lot of dithering backwards and forwards and obviously each woman has qualities you find attractive. Only you know what is best for you. For what it's worth, it seems to me like it would be pretty hard on your Japanese wife if you were to say goodbye to her. If you want to be married and stay with the same person for the rest of your life then factor that in when making the choice. Green might be more fun in the short-term but would she make a good partner for life? Or do you even want to be married and "stuck" with one person? These are questions that only you can answer.