Readers' Submissions

A Few Points, For Clarity

  • Written by K-Stop
  • January 17th, 2014
  • 7 min read



I got quite a few replies about my last submission so I thought I would seek to clarify even further a few things.

The replies ran the gamut of sympathy for the plight of the poor to messages along the lines of 'pull yourself up by your boot straps, anyone can make it in life!'

Thanks for any concern for my situation, and indeed I report good news: my career seems on the up and I feel confident that I will never have to live with junkies and the welfare/mental illness subculture again. The journey has been long, uphill, and harrowing. But I stand to make a name (and more importantly a dollar) for myself.

The way our system is set up, in ANY country, necessitates a lower class. It's just the name of the game. And personally I would not want it any other way. Because a utopia would bore the heck out of me. A perfect future where we have eliminated suffering, where everything shines and nothing stinks. Where my eyes never set on a mangy dog or a beggar. Sounds like an Orwelljan nightmare tme and preserving such gloss would surely require fascist state policies.

So it is what it is. People will fall through the cracks. The middle class, and certainly the upper, don't have enough room for everyone. Yes, the poor are here to stay. They play their role in our system and certain aspects of our system work to keep them that way. Just the nature of the game.

For instance, welfare. It becomes a full time job, getting welfare. Everyone I have known on perpetual welfare sees no end in sight. Poverty then services itself as a self perpetuating lifestyle. A feedback loop that continuously works to sustain itself. The welfare state NEEDS the poor. Welfare workers make a living off of the poor, so they use certain means to reinforce the status quo. This behemoth system develops self interest. The goal no longer resembles eliminating poverty but rather creating more of it.

To start an entrepreneurial endeavor requires overcoming hurdles of bureaucratic jargon, paperwork, licenses, fees, etc. Small business friendly indeed! America obviously has set itself up as a corportocracy. More money to be made in the chain of command than as a small family business. And not everyone can simply learn code, write a mobile application for android or apple, and sail away in a yacht. Those are only the lucky but sparse few.

If you have never experienced the system at the gutter level, you probably can't understand what I mean. It is what it is. And when you live in abject poverty, when your neighbors steal from you, when you can't find respite to just think or plot your escape from the life, when all your 'friends' and family suffer from alcoholism, abuse, drug addiction, there really seems no way out. The temptation to throw in the towel and resolve yourself to a life of your assigned role grows strong.

Sure, possibilities abound. For particularly gifted individuals, people good at sports or academics, people good looking enough to make money modelling, opportunities for a leg up emerge. But still, it will ALWAYS be easier to make money when you have money to begin with. It comes as close to a universal law as anything. Ambition, drive, creativity, intellect and ingenuity all being equal, the person born unto the middle class will go farther than the person born into the lower.

But the nature of privilege is such that we tend to perceive the privileges of others as stronger than our own. As I mentioned, I am blessed with god looks, and I too have gotten modelling and acting jobs. Based on my photograph alone I landed a job on a Korean cell phone commercial shoot in Bangkok that paid for my cheap bedbug-infested guesthouse on Khao San for a month. The grass really is always greener, and I reckon many homely but wealthy gents would give up their money just to have women commenting on their good looks.

I have had other problems worth mention. I also suffer from an aural processing disorder which makes it difficult to learn in class settings. Coupled with (what I would consider a healthy) hyperactivity, and I was failing from early in the public school system. I just learn differently than most. I need to be outside more, and engaged. The school system in the States is set up for a certain personality type to excel. Surely, not everyone can fit the criteria.

So, I have stayed sober for the most part of a decade and really put my mind to my chosen field of work. Now I can talk the talk, I sound professional on the phone, and I have built up a confidence that can impress potential employers and business partners. I dont expect to be wealthy, but comfortable enough to perhaps live in Bangkok (or preferably Kuala Lumpur…but that is for another submission) for chunks of my middle age while I work in the States. Life is good, and I recognize what has helped and hindered me.

Now, with that, a clarification regarding my aspiration to 'marry a bargirl'.

I should have said 'procreate' with a bar girl. As I said, I am not the settling type, and I anticipate I will 'butterfly' for another decade at least. But I do want to perhaps procreate at some point. And I figure at 45, why not find a 35 or so year old woman who has one more chance left at having a baby? An older bar girl/masseuse (I find masseuses much more articulate and sophisticated) might be a prime candidate, especially since as I spoke of before they come from humble begginings such as I.

Now, a lot of recent reader submissions speak of fools that 'fall in love' with bar girls. I never said that I intend to do that. Guys that expect romantic love from women I agree seem foolish. Pragmatic by nature, women calculate the best available options when choosing a mate/domestic partner. Guys tend to base everything on how attractive physically they perceive the women to be and also how epic the sex is. Foolish indeed.

So many factors come into play, and women see a bigger picture in general. Not so attached to orgasms, they consider economics more, etc. Which is why I get very specific when I speak of a woman I will procreate with. I have standards and some idyllic notion of romantic love is NOT one of these factors. Call me cold, whatever. I love women, yes. But I keep it in check, and I also love many women. The one I choose to make a home with I will love too but that is not why I will make a home with her.

As I mentioned, I have such exacting criteria as good teeth, above average height, poise in social situations, and an athletic (but not flawless) body. To some this outlook might seem indeed cold, almost calculating. But a guy who thinks a woman doesn't take a wide variety of factors into consideration will I only get burned. I have turned down heaps of marriage opportunities with women I got along with well but they failed to meet my expectations in one specific way or another.

I put all my cards in the table and call women in their shit from day one. I tell them I know they are interested in money, that economic ambition turns them on, and they respect me more for it. No, romance has nothing to do with it and I may love a bar girl but I will never be in love with her. And a paternity test will happen without question. If she protests then it ends.

Stay strong brothers. Do yourselves a favor and don't fall in love with the notion of romance. It's a myth. A big reason why she will treat you like an ATM is because she simply cant understand why you treat her pussy like it is God's gift to mankind. A certain sort of bond does grow over years of cohabitation, sharing meals, travelingg and raising children together, etc. But to fall head over heels from early on…I do believe you have gotten duped. Settling down will always mean taking a gamble of sorts. Yes it may not work out well long term, but you can only know after years. A lot of guys seem to think they know after weeks.

Furthermore, I am not attached to the notion of an officiated marriage. In my opinion, a paternity test cements any domestic partnership that may occur. Not some governmental paperwork. So I should have given my earlier post a different title.

In closing, I find almost all the other contributions well written and interesting. Smart folks I would like to share a beer and a chat with next time I am in Thailand. Keep up the good work all. We dont always have to agree on everything.