Readers' Submissions

Poetic Justice

  • Written by Starky
  • December 30th, 2013
  • 7 min read


ladyboys


A disclaimer before I begin:

Let me make it clear I am in no way judging anybody's lifestyle choices. If you are gay or lesbian and are happy, then good luck to you and may you have a long and fulfilled life. Whatever floats your boat is fine by me. What I am sick of though is ladyboy lurkers who need to come up with all these defensive positions of why they are not gay. They are more attractive than women, they fxxx better blah blah and blah, on an on it goes. Really it is just a way for you to come to terms with who you are it's "gay light" or a stepping stone if you will, "look at how pretty the guy I am sleeping with is." They are genetically and biologically male and if you are sucking them off or letting them belt one up your arse, I have news for you, my friend – you are gay no matter which way you slice it. In the words of Seinfeld, "Not that there is anything wrong with that", but really, you need to accept what you are.


At first I was going to write a submission in reply to the steaming pile of misogynistic crap that is The Pretender's submission this week. I am honestly tired of this new breed of clown coming to Bangkok. All they seem to drone on about is how bad western women are and how much they hate their home country. Obviously these people don't have mothers or sisters or cousins or nieces. By being disrespectful to women, you are being disrespectful to all women but that is only part of the problem.

I started coming to Thailand in the mid nineties and the crew I was with back then, sure, we loved Thai girls, but we were also getting Aussie girls and European girls, South American girls and girls wherever we could find them and we loved them all. We never complained and the more the better. There are beautiful, sexy, fit, intelligent successful girls all over this planet. I just don't think they are attracted to poofs.

By the same token we loved coming to Thailand but make no mistake we loved home as well.

The pioneers of the bar scene as I know it didn't just come here for the girls. It was the exoticness of a foreign country and immersing yourself in a new culture and the joy of finding out how to survive here by yourself. I am a proud Australian, always will be, even though I live in Thailand now and have done for 8 years. The problem is the lower tier of tourist coming here now who couldn't find their arse with both hands and a flashlight. Unfortunately forums tell them which bus to catch, which plane to get on, which hotel to stay at, and for those with absolutely no imagination at all, even which number girl in which bar to grab. Where is your spirit of adventure? No wonder the scene is going to shit! Boring, boring, boring! These slack-jawed cardboard cutouts wandering around are a disgrace! No wonder we farangs are staring to get a bad name. Just because something is tolerated, doesn't mean it is accepted. So those of you in your thongs and 100-baht singlets flip flopping around in the nation's capital get a bit of pride in your appearance, and for those of you who must walk around with your new ladyboy friend, try and be a little discreet. Believe me, you may not care but you are noticed by many!

Going back to bar girls though, there was nothing better than finding a little diamond in the rough somewhere and you could guarantee all your mates wouldn't be hanging around as they would be out finding their own, then bowling down to breakfast the next morning for some good natured and well deserved bragging rights. We never really considered chasing after each other's girls as there were far too many to choose from. Also the tickets they put on themselves. Let me tell you my mates would be the first to say that none of us would win any modeling competitions. We do however take care of ourselves, have pride in our appearance and treat all the girls we meet whether they are bar staff, gogo girls, cleaning ladies, students or women in the street with a level of care and respect. That is because we actually love women and don't blame them for our shortcomings.

This new breed all seem to be universally good looking, attractive, super fit demi gods with great jobs and plenty of cash, which raises the question why can't they get girls at home? Is it because they treat all women like prostitutes, mother issues perhaps, no real relationships with females or is it just like in the case of our friend the Pretender that they are just raving closet homosexuals who haven't realised it yet?

Truly the funniest part of the Pretender's submission is where he has come to Thailand not for the beautiful women, which is what you would expect, but instead for men dressed as ladies and then wonders why Russians are looking at him when he is arm in arm with a 6 foot 2 bloke in a dress walking down beach road. Classic! By the way, you weren't holding his / her hand, mate, you were only holding his… "not that there is anything wrong with that." Seriously, mate, grab a mirror and have a good look in it! The problem isn't with the women in your life – it's with you! Then again it could be the part where he describes that no women he has met are his physical or financial or wealth equal, those trannies ya letting belt one up ya khyber must be real good earners then. Why you would think anyone would want a hyperlink of recordings of your ex-girlfriends is beyond comprehension and more than a little creepy. You got more issues than Time magazine, champ. Then there is the nice little box you try and put "sex tourists" in to justify your actions. Sure, there are guys that like grabbing a different girl every night but there are also many that have a small stable of regulars that they see time and time again. I also have friends that basically see the same girl every time they come back as they are comfortable with them and are genuinely good fun to be around. There are also plenty of "sex tourists" that have ended up in loving, permanent relationships, even marriage.

Some guys like younger girls, some like older with more experience, some tall, some short, some from Isaan, some from Bangkok, you get my point? Don't try and stuff us all in one box. The reasons we come here are many and varied but we do have a common interest in the bar scene. Please do me a favour though and get off your high horse "choose a path of freedom in the face of tyranny instead of shutting up and being a dutiful slave to women" WTF??? and "I can honestly say that I have fxxxed better-looking and more spiritually beautiful men." If you believe that nonsense, champ, then you seriously haven't been around enough women.

There must be a God or Buddha or true justice in the world though, as just as I sit down to write I observe another submission by the Pretender and, oh, how I laughed. The simple poetic justice of his ass getting busted up is sheer comedy gold. I still get the giggles thinking about it. Truly no-one is more deserving of a hearty SOM NAM NA than you, my friend. So go back to sucking pricks and letting your date getting ripped apart and leave the beautiful girls of the world for those of us that know how to deal with them, and enjoy being around them. My friends and I thank you whole heartedly.

I could go on and on about this topic but I think I have made my point. I won't be hiding behind an alias either so those of you who think I am wrong, feel free to give me both barrels. ame goes for any of you who may share my views for at the end of the day that is what is all about. Lao tie khun, my friend "up to you" and may it forever stay that way.




Stickman's thoughts:

I think the point of Pretender's article was the discovery of what he terms "door #4" – that you can live life by your own rules without feeling like you have to follow one of the paths society likes you to choose.

Yes, I agree that some go a little far in their criticism of women in the West, and I have to admit that Pretender's lifestyle choice raises eyebrows but hey, it's his life and if that's how he wishes to live it, good on him!