My Thai Nom
"Another cigarette on the kitchen table with a can of Leo in our new 1.2 million baht Pruksa Ville house, life in a Bangkok suburb is boring for me. It is true what they say about your bank account taking a nosedive when you get involved with a beautiful Thai lady.
Only 45 minutes from Patpong, Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza, the adult Disneyland where my sexual fantasy will come true. I’m talking about an hour long deep throat BJ. I’m lucky now if my Thai beauty gives me a 10-second BJ.
It was not always like that when I met Nom in a bar on Saphan Kwai. She wore sexy high heels, a tight black dress and damn, was she looking hot! Her perfectly shaped and sizeable tight apple bottom, legs and long silky hair. I was hooked at first sight.
The barfine was paid and Nom stayed all night. I came back to bar fine Nom every second night. An amazing experience every time, never a complaint, moan or lemon face. Nom was fully in to giving the best performance and all my requests were met with a happy smile. I would be working away at Nom’s apple bottom for hours into the night being satisfied multiple times.
I guess what got me hooked in the long run was her English skills and how good her bottom half looked in jeans. She would wear them so tight and with her tight sizeable apple bottom and legs with high heels. It was a killer look!
I’m 27 now and Nom is 24. I met her almost 4 years ago when I came to Thailand in 2008 as part of my tour in Asia with my best friend. I would like to say we have been together for 4 years but that would not be true. We only spend around 2-3 months together each year because I live and work in the UK.
We do Skype 1 or 2 times a day when I’m back home and Nom’s phone is answered every time without fail at any hour. I have no trust issues with Nom because I know her day is packed with work at the shop and school runs for her sister's children. (Smartphones and free wi-fi a gift to those in a distant relationship)
If it were not for my parents I would leave the UK in a heartbeat and move to Thailand. The UK as a whole is a complete shithole. It’s true to me and this is only my opinion of course. (I don’t mean to offend anybody reading my story.)
Anyway, back to the kitchen table…
I’m itching to get away, I’m at boiling point and I need to grab a cab and get out. I've been stuck in this suburb for 3 weeks now. Not one single night out.
But their she is, my beautiful Thai lady lying in bed 8 months pregnant. Expecting a little Thai baby girl to pop out anytime. (A secret that I will keep forever only to be revealed on Stickman) So no chance of going out tonight or any other night soon. <You mean that those close to you don't know your girl is pregnant and about to give birth to your child? – Stick>
I can’t even get out alone to the local Future Park or Tesco Lotus without her demanding that we go together. A number of fights and arguments over me going out alone.
My days in Thailand are spent at home working online, reading Stickman and spending hours sitting on a stool at Nom’s shop. The odd trip to MK, the cinema and 7 Eleven is exciting as it gets for me now.
When I first met Nom we would go all over Bangkok eating at the best restaurants, visiting bars, dancing at the disco and travelling together to Manila, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Singapore and even Shanghai. Basically we did a lot of things together and the sex was still amazing. Plus she always dressed sexy and looked good. I was aware of this fact because people would stare at her and heads would turn. Like I said, Nom is a beauty and her sex appeal was outstanding.
Things are different now. I get very irritated with Nom almost daily for numerous reasons, mainly her temper and at times her bad attitude towards my random (sensible) questions. I will not be in a long term relationship with Nom. Also there is the money issue which is part of the biggest problem.
I never did give Nom any money while she was working the bar. It’s safe to say there was no reason or requests made. It was only when she moved out of Bangkok city and opened a food stall that the requests started.
I was now another farang sending money to my Thai sweetheart out of pure 100% genuine kindness. 7,000 baht per month. I guess it was ok since I would live in her bedroom at her sister’s house when I was in Bangkok which saved me money on hotels.
However, this amount was soon to increase dramatically when I got the news that Nom was pregnant. I agreed to 10,000 baht per month but Nom wanted 20,000 baht per month. She kept pissing and moaning about all the things she would need to buy and money she would need to save for the baby.
At this point I could have changed my SIM card and email, never to be hassled again by Nom. But I was in love. Really in love with her but this love is diminishing each day or moment I get pissed and spat on and this usually happens almost every day we are together in Thailand.
I've been sending Nom 20,000 baht for the past 8 month. I bought Nom a 1.2 million baht 3-bedroom house 2 weeks ago (fully paid for and in her name) and before coming back to Bangkok I told Nom to save the money I’m sending her to buy furniture and other bits and bobs.
I also explained she is fully responsible for buying food, and other small shit like petrol for her “Skoopi I motorbike” that I purchased for 60,000 baht 2 years before.
I don’t want to be coming to Thailand and buying shit like washing powder, eggs, rice, noodles, papaya salad, fish, chilli powder and other day to day stuff. Nom should have taken care of all these trinkets.
Also having spent 1.2 million baht on a good house in Nom’s name I expect that Nom should furnish it with a sofa, beds, TV, fridge, etc. and because I have been sending 20,000 baht for the past 8 month and we spoke about this issue of saving money to buy furniture I expect Nom to have done this but none of this has been done.
When I question Nom why she has no money she gives me the most stupid answers!
“I need to buy towels, milk, I have to pay! pay! money not stay same, you think money stay same. I buy clothes for new shop, I buy mobile, I need fix bike, you don’t know I need to pay, pay”.
I tell Nom these accessories will never amount to 20,000 baht and you get 20,000 baht per month. Then Nom goes in to a rage “You check!, You check! You give me headache! You not live Thailand! You don’t know!”
I fxxxing know where Nom’s money is going. Probably she is paying her sister's mortgage just up the road and her sister’s husband's car loan and probably her sister's kids' schooling.
This Nom will never admit as I made it clear I’m giving her 20,000 baht for the baby / house and the money I’m sending her should never be going towards her sister's family. I’m not going to pay another man’s dues or help support another man’s family.
Nom has saved none of the money I sent. I arrive in Bangkok and check her card at the ATM and the only money in the account is the 100,000 baht that I sent for myself to Nom’s account. And even that amount was sitting at 70,000 baht. I told her not to touch that money. I only sent it to her account because my bank charges me a fortune to withdraw in Thailand. What is with that? That is Nom pissing on me. And so another piece of my love diminishes for Nom.
The house is fxxxing empty with one mattress on the floor, a couple of tables and a 10” TV. No fridge, no freezer and every day we need to go buy ice for the cooler. I am the one paying for the ice (again this is me getting pissed on and spat on)
When we go to Big C I’m paying for all the small shit I never wanted and should not be paying for. It’s a complete joke! Nom asked me today if I can give her 20 baht to buy sticky rice, one of many incidents to buy small random shit. Again, what is with that? That is Nom pissing on me. And so another piece of my love diminishes for Nom.
Last year she said her sister and her kids wanted to go to the waterfall so her sister’s husband drove us all to the waterfall and halfway through the journey stopped for petrol and I was asked by Nom If I had 1,000 baht to pay for the petrol.
It was never my idea to go to the waterfall so why would I need to pay? On top of this I’m supposed to be a guest at your home and should not be asked to pay for a trip your family planned and wanted to go on.
I understand I am the Farang (super human) in their eyes and the expectation that I will naturally pay. This would be fine if I was not sending money each month to Nom. I expect her sister's family to pay or at least Nom with the money I had been sending each month.
Also I am Nom’s peer, her generation. I’m not a 50-year old who needs to compensate her at each turn because I want to marinate my wrinkly 50-year old dick in her mouth each night. Or squash her each night under my 50-year old beer belly. I’m young, fit, clean, smart and there's only 3 years age difference between me and Nom.
I would have already jumped the boat by now as I have been preparing myself mentally to do this because of the following reasons.
1. I cannot go out alone when in Bangkok when I’m with Nom. The tears and screams this creates on Nom’s part is just not worth it I would rather just lock myself in a cupboard for the day. There is absolutely no rational answer given to me when I simply want to go out alone for a few hours in the morning, afternoon or evening. Yes, I have been pussy-whipped to some degree.
2. I told her to save 5,000 baht per month for our baby and she could do responsibly as she wanted with the other 15,000 baht, keeping in mind the house that needs to be furnished when I come to Thailand.
3. Nom’s attitude is bad! She gets annoyed very easily. Today, for example, I told her I need to call my parents (a 5 minute call) and she says “You go alone! I not wait for you!”. What the fxxk was that for? Absolutely no reason to speak like that to me. I always speak kindly and sweet to Nom.
4. I’m completely ignored by Nom when she is in a bad mood and this could be because she had an argument with her sister. That is very annoying to me. If you, the reader, could only witness when this happens. It makes me want to punch her face continuously until it disappears.
5. I am not respected and my money is not respected. And this I take very seriously because I work my ass of every day back home in the UK to earn this money. I should have put this at the top of the list.
6. I am dumb-founded, completely at a loss with no words to describe how a broke woman selling drinks for 15 baht under the hot sun all day took everything I have given her for granted. If she does appreciate what has been given it does not show.
But what really tips me over the edge is Nom asking for chump change to buy small crap which she should easily be able to afford but for some reason claims she has no money.
Any normal person would rationalise and think the one who has given me a house, motorbike, 20,000 baht monthly. I’m asking that person for 20 baht to buy sticky rice, 100 baht for oil, 10 baht for ice.
Surely she should feel awkward asking!
Surely she should think this person who supports me must think I’m a loser!
Surely she must be shy in making such requests!
My conclusion is that such a person has no respect for themself, their partner or provider.
None of this “she is a bargirl” bullshit excuse. We have known each other 4 years, I have given her many things, diamond rings, gold jewellery etc. We have travelled together and lived together. So now there must be some level social etiquette, integrity, decency (but it all goes to shit when I’m asked to pay 450 baht at the clinic).
“YOU DUMB BITCH!! I BEEN GIVEN YOU 20,000 BHAT FOR THE PAST 8 MONTHS. WHY THE FXXK ARE YOU NOT PAYING THIS BILL. WHY YOU ASKING ME!!” “I WANTED TO GIVE YOU 10,000 BHAT YOU WANTED 20,000 BHAT FOR BABY EXPENSES – SO NOW PAY THE EXPENSE”
Don’t you understand! (I will get the same bullshit non sense answer) I’m fed up.
It seems that my thoughts, feelings and opinions do not count or do not matter much because I am not Thai.
I’m tired of all the shit she tries to pull. I’m tired of her bad mood. I’m tired of her temper that is unforeseen and strikes suddenly. She is pushing me away and does not even realise what she is doing. In her small mind she feels everything is ok.
I can see that in her eyes, but everything is not ok and I’m fed up. Nothing has changed in the last year despite my attempts to explain to Nom and give examples to Nom of her attitude and behaviour. And the money issue which I think will never click in Nom’s small mind.
She has ruined any potential future we could possibly have with her.
The palm of my hand moves around your mother's big belly each night. I feel you moving so much some nights it seems as though you are dancing. I love you the most when you kick your mother and she shouts my name to come and feel you.
I tried my best but I won’t be sticking around.
Stickman 's thoughts:
Ultimately we all crave happiness in life and it's hard to see how you could be happy with Nom as you've described her.
Nom would appear to be like a lot of those from rural areas who entered the bar industry and suddenly found themselves making more money than they could dream of fast. No matter what they do, the money just keeps coming. As such, they do not every really understand that there is no guarantee that the money will keep coming forever.
I don't have any advice for you because it seems as if things are too far gone. I'd love to suggest something but I just don't have any ideas that I think would work. Hopefully some readers can come up with something and email you directly.