I Might Only Marry A Working Woman
It still gnaws at me, Thailand. Of course…how could it not? Thailand promises to help the frustrated male forget past attempts at romance, attempts spurned by fickle Western women, for a small fee.
I was a fat kid in school, and always new, to more schools than grades finished. 11. So in addition to not being considered physically attractive, I was also always the new kid in class. Not the best way to begin a life, or develop social confidence.
Once an ugly duckling, I'm now good looking, fit, young, and attractive to women, but part of me never learned to use my new found privilege. Sure, I have flashes of confidence. But I can't shake the nagging suspicion that confidence, like oil, money or gold, is a finite resource that must be taken from somewhere or someone to be had elsewhere by another. I feel the pain, from personal experience, of the blokes who because of genetics or lack of social IQ fail to get much attention from women.
The most honest relationship, I believe, very well could be that between a prostitute and her customer. A pure, simple, honest relationship. It puts everything on the table and I consider it an honest way for a woman to make a living.
And before a feminist cries 'exploitation' I must ask, if the working girl is turned on and lubricated, shall we still consider it 'prostitution' at all, or could there exist a grey area? Personally, I'm not much stimulated unless the gal is too, so I always make sure it is a pleasurable experience for the woman whether I pay for sex or not.
Yet we always pay for sex, one way or another. A woman can take it or leave it, for the most part. For guys we experience drive as an imperative. Lack of sex in our lives can cause more despair than lack of sex in the lives of women.
Case in point: nuns break their vows less than priests, and gay male couples have more sex than lesbian couples. Sure lesbian couples may cuddle and make physical contact as much or more, but they certainly don't break out the vibrator or even stimulate the clitoris as much as the typical male likes to whip out his tool. I mention this because double standards and the assertion that women have different sex drives than men get frowned upon by modern liberal Western society.
Sometimes I do wonder, if I might only ever marry a working woman. Not the Anime-cute caricatures that are young fresh from Isaan bar girls, but more like my soapy massage provider I wrote of before. She was truly amazing just to talk to. A woman of great emotional depth and nuance. I felt I was in the presence of my intellectual equal (probably helped that she was a few years older than I).
I wonder because more than a year back in the States and I have yet to engage in conversation with a woman who presented an intellect on par with the masseuse. Yes, a prostitute, in Thailand. Smarter than these sheltered, consumerist middle class ladies I typically meet. (I want to iterate, this masseuse spoke English very well…couldn't envision myself with a woman with poor English long term…I like conversation too much.)
Even educated women who studied liberal arts and can speak multiple languages seem to be unable to interact with the opposite sex here. It's bizarre. They avoid eye contact, seem oblivious to the concept of tact, flirtation or social grace. I'm frustrated, and now I feel if I ever get married, I will either marry a virgin, or a (former) prostitute.
Prostitutes, particularly older ones, have much going for them. They know men well. They are realistic. Smart. They have the potential to connive, yes, but they can surely recognize their match in wits. They have a wisdom, not just of men but of the world. An unsheltered wisdom.
Virgins, chaste virgins, women with innocence intact and romantic aspirations, are much less likely to harbor hatred for men. If you show them loyalty and patience with their immaturity, they can love you forever for being their first and not letting them down.
I remember a Stickman entry or reader's submission somewhere where someone said that most working girls were dumped by the guys who took their virginity. That they all used to have hope for romantic love. There's something in this I value, and while a part of me does like a fresh, youthful body, in my experience there is always a guilt that accompanies a sexual encounter with a naive young woman who wants something more, while I do not.
In my last relationship with a Western woman, I got the impression that she was not entirely over her first either. He behaved pretty callously to her. It makes me think, how much better the world would be if virgins (of both sexes) lost their 'cherries' to experienced, gentle but passionate lovers.
It saddens me that for most people, the first time is nothing magical at all. How very tragic. But then again, perhaps I rate sex too highly in importance. For me, it can be a spiritual experience, when the chemistry works well.
I have issues. My issues have issues. 'Madonna-whore' complex, Freud called it. I just feel that average middle class Western women, spoiled by sheltered lives in a corporate consumerist culture, have no bearing on the world as it is. They don't understand power dynamics.
I love working girls. Ones here too, in the States. I have fallen in love with a few. And I might still be with one of those I fell for today, if she had expressed interest in cleaning up her act, getting off drugs, making a life.
And working women, they know their way in the bedroom. How to get a guy turned on. And many of them, yes, they have learned how to enjoy sex, they know more not just about men, but about themselves.
I will never forget one particular (older…I much prefer working girls in their early to mid 30's) bargirl I had on Koh Samui. She teased me into a frenzy, and I got her hot and bothered too. Sure, I paid for it, but her attraction to me was real. It had to have been. She was gushing.
It was a chemistry I have rarely felt with a woman here at home. And when I have, as soon as we started dating it died down. Like they lured me with sex and then expected a return on their investment, even though I never expressed desire for more than sex.
That is why I believe going to prostitutes a fine way to meet women. It gets a lot out of the way. Breaks the ice. But doesn't leave anything up for imagination.
Like an old-fashioned arranged marriage. 'You marry me, I will support you'. A fair trade, a business arrangement. But shorter… 'You have sex with me, I will pay you.' I like to communicate clearly, make clear my expectations. It wastes time to 'date' without speaking of what one is looking for in a relationship.
I envision the scenario like this: I spend the next decade building my career and bedding as many women as I can, any way I can. Around the age of 45, I find a working girl 10 or so years my junior, one with no substance abuse problems and a good head on her shoulders. She must be aware that her ability to make a handsome living verges on expiration.
She will have good genes. I think about genes when I think about procreation. I want my child, should I decide to have one, to have the advantages in life afforded people with decent looks and height. My bar girl will thus be above average height for her demographic, physical fit and healthy, and have good teeth. This may sound exploitative but good teeth are attractive to everyone.
The world is full to excess of people. If I do procreate, the only way I can resolve myself to do so is with careful planning, almost like sculpting.
This is not to say I expect perfection. Au contraire, I like IMPERFECTIONS. No woman is perfect in every way, needless to say. A little cellulite or a little excess fat around the mid section I can handle, so to speak. This (now exe-) bargirl is no longer 20 years old, remember. No, she is fit and healthy but not perfect. Perfect I consider almost synonymous with boring.
This woman, from a third world country, will be happy with less that he average Western woman. I like a simple, quiet life. Not into loud music, fast cars, and luxury. So, this ideal working girl will want to just have a baby and spend time with family. Live a modest lifestyle.
Of course, my plans might fail. I have never been successful in relationships, while at times I have wanted to. And the best predictor of a failed relationship, is prior failed relationships.