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A Massage Girl Asks Me For Money…

  • Written by Anonymous
  • December 31st, 2013
  • 5 min read

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Here is a real life Thai encounter I thought you might find interesting. You have heard similar ones no doubt. If you are so inclined you might reply to the questions at the end.

A man meets woman for a Thai massage. He sees her several times and they have a good experience together. He likes her and she seems to like him. There is a significant language barrier, though. During their encounters she tells him about
money and medical problems related to her son and a land mortgage problem back in the provinces. He is concerned and generously compensates her for services. They exchange emails.

After departure from Thailand they communicate. She quickly escalates her distress by telling him she has been having abdominal pain and gynecological bleeding. She took a leave of absence to go back to the provinces where she saw a doctor
who told her she may have a tumor of the uterus and needs surgery. She is in now in very serious financial situation because she cannot work and is she emotionally stressed on multiple fronts. He wants to help, and of course, she needs the
money. She asks and he repeatedly agrees to help by wiring her money. How much? She surprises and shakes him by the large amount requested. He asks questions, she gets a bit defensive; he backs off and foolishly agrees to send the money. The
man really wants to help someone who he believes is truly in need, who has serious financial problems, and with whom he has bonded, but he is confused and has no clear picture of where a relationship could possibly lead other than a friendship
strained by circumstances, distance, and language barriers (most communications are via Google translation which is mostly literal and faulty). He becomes anxious, and concerned. After talking with a friend the man starts thinking more clearly
and he realizes:

1) He has obligations elsewhere.

2) He cannot openly provide assistance to the woman without serious risk to himself by leaving trails of communication or unexplained transactions.

3) He is generally inclined, however, to help someone in need with whom he felt he had had a meaningful encounter, if she is telling the truth.

4) He recognizes there have been several red flags.

a. He has asked her on several occasions to provide the name and number of the doctor so he can find out directly what her medical condition is and assess the potential impact. She did not comply either due to misunderstanding or for
other possibly more nefarious reasons

b. He asked for her home address and she provided a specific village and house number in the provinces that were not detected by Google search.

c. He asked her about these things and she seemed to become somewhat defensive.

d. He is concerned about how fast and how much money she requested given the limited duration and nature of their friendship.

e. He responded that she should not worry – and that he fully intended to send her money. He liked and cared for her, but begins to regret over commitment. He feels a bit foolish and manipulated – even if it was not her
intention. In the end he clearly led her to believe that he will send her money. And truthfully, he does not want to disappoint her, if she is telling the truth.

The first analysis is that the man has nothing to gain and potentially much to lose (peace on the home front or worse and less importantly loss of a significant chunk of change.) He is in a no win situation except for potential of fulfilling
the need and having the satisfaction of helping someone who he liked and cared for in the limited context of the encounter.

She could be lying (scamming), in which case not sending money would be a preferable and more just ending. One way to learn if she were lying would be to call and see if she were at work and not in the province as advertised. The other
way would be to talk to the doctor. He is not sure it is worth trying to find out.

She could be telling the truth in which case he would emotionally want to send her money, but rightly fears the consequences of discovery. A friend has advised him to disappoint the woman by telling her he has reconsidered and he cannot
help her, which would, abruptly, end the interaction. This course of action is the cleanest, but it seems unkind, counter to his desire to help her, and it is emotionally painful for him. He would like to be a man of his word and send her
something, if possible.

Questions should you wish to consider them:

In the context of your experience in Thailand, what is your reaction? Should he try to find out if she is not at work as advertised? Should he insist on talking to the doctor (only if it is assumed he would proceed to do her some financial
favor). Do you see any way to resolve things happily (i.e. some money to her and some satisfaction to him for having done a good deed)? Can there still be some kind of friendship without this financial pressure?

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Stickman's thoughts:

There are many variants of this story used by Thai sex workers to extract money from their (former) customers. They may say someone close to them is ill in hospital or has been in an accident. They usually say it's a close family member such as their child or mother, and occasionally even say the family buffalo is ill (don't laugh, this is sometimes used). Then there is the version where they say that they owe money to some money lender and they will lose land / family home if it is not quickly repaid. Then there is the version where a family member (usually a brother) has been arrested on drugs charges and a large amount of money is needed for bail or to somehow get them off the charges. In 99% of cases, these stories are a ruse to extract money from the guy.

If you want to know for sure, asking for hospital reports, documentation including some sort of report as to her condition as well as the contact tails i.e. the name of the doctor and a land-line phone number at the hospital (which should be able to be verified using Google) where the doctor can be reached. If none of this is forthcoming, well, it seems rather suspicious, doesn't it?