Stickman Readers' Submissions November 6th, 2013

Why Western Men Fall in Love With Thai Girls

Before I begin I would like to clarify the ladies I am referring to in this article are not ladies from the red light areas of Thailand. I have nothing against them nor do I have anything against those who engage with such activities. On the contrary, I admire the courage shown by some ladies in the industry. However using them as a point of comparison with the ladies of the west is open for criticism as inaccurate analysis.

Contrary to what many believe, Thai girls are not all ‘working’. People who make such assumptions have either only been to the red light tourist areas of Thailand or have never even been and base their perceptions on the media. Unfortunately this reinforces many misconceptions. The reality is there are plenty of loving and caring Thai ladies who would have nothing to do with this industry. This article is about ‘regular’ Thai girls who make up the majority of the population. They could be girls going to work, those you meet, at a coffee shop, attending university or anywhere else.

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Like many men in the west, going to Thailand spoils us with the amount of choice we have. The sheer selection of beautiful girls is like being in a single man's heaven. But when we go back to the west, assuming we are not living in Thailand, the difference with what we have been used to is striking.

Prior to leaving for Thailand I knew what would happen. I knew I will be filled for a certain amount of weeks with smiles, laughs and sweet, feminine girls. I knew that returning to London would be a huge culture shock. The real culture shock would come when I interact with members of the opposite sex. Even though I had warned myself and would not go for a night out for up to 1 month after returning from Thailand, I still was not prepared.

In Thailand if I see an attractive girl I can easily go and speak to her. This is regardless of whether she feels attracted to me or not. The girls are more receptive to speak to. I do not need to fear social humiliation or embarrassment. The interaction is very pleasant. As a result I have been able to meet some lovely ladies. Back in London, speaking to girls is not a very straightforward ordeal. Approaches are often met with suspicion and contempt. Once again this is regardless of whether she feels attracted to you.

I remember after returning from the Land of Smiles to London there was an interaction I had with a girl. I did not by any means feel attracted to her. She was a girl that I would not look at twice in usual circumstances, but I figured I have been back from Thailand for a few weeks and I may as well get some practice to ease my way back in to the London way of speaking to members of the opposite sex. So I made eye contact with her.

She scowled at me.

It was the type of scowl that had put me off from speaking to girls before I had discovered Thailand. It is the same type of scowl that put many men off speaking to girls. The scowl has deeper meanings. It does not just mean “I am not interested in you”, it means “How dare you look at me, I am above you”. It is almost as though she took pleasure in doing this.

Prior to going to Thailand this would have affected me. I would think thoughts such as “Oh my God, if a girl who I feel no attraction to whatsoever is reacting this way to me, then what hope do I have with a girl I actually fancy?” This plays with a person’s mind. I am naturally a romantic. Such interactions completely crush any hope of romance I may have.

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After my experiences in Thailand my perspective had changed. When the girl reacted this way I had a momentary flashback of a particular interaction I had whilst over there. In this interaction I was trying to get away from an adorable girl who was deeply interested in me. It was in a Thai nightclub where the majority of the people were Thais as opposed to foreigners. She held my hand trying to pull me to dance. Why I was not interested boggles my mind today. As mentioned earlier, in Thailand the guys are seriously spoilt for choice with the selection they have of members from the opposite sex. Honestly… I just could not be bothered to get to know her as I had far too many other girls to see.

The flashback I had came at a perfect time. It was almost as though my psyche showed me this flashback to serve as a reminder of what happened as a reaction to the scowl I had just received. This caused me to uncontrollably let out a loud shriek of laughter that echoed throughout the entire shop floor of the large store I was in. I received a few stares but I quickly regained my composure. The irony of this girl's reaction was absolutely hilarious. After my laughter the girl's attitude changed and she started smiling and was more receptive towards me. I am not sure why she did this. Although she did not know of my flashback perhaps she too saw the irony.

This story highlights the difference between ladies from the Far East and the west. It also is an indication of the perception of men from each region. I remember one time I had food poisoning in Thailand and I was in the bathroom of my hotel room vomiting uncontrollably. It was absolutely disgusting. My Thai girlfriend at the time helped me to rest and played the role of a nurse. Perhaps in western culture this behavior is viewed as submissive and in direct conflict with equality for women. I do not view it as submissive behavior and I think it strengthens the family bond that is so absent in the west. This is regardless of whether a female enters the workforce of not.

Many may conclude the reason why people choose to date Thai girls is due to the fact that they cannot find a lady back in the west. In my opinion this is a very simplistic and dismissive response and it does not even come close to understanding the real reason. It is correct that many who go to Thailand to date or find love did have a hard time back in the west. But many people who go to Thailand are also socially well adjusted. I have dated many attractive ladies in the west. However when travelling to the Land of Smiles one can witness the difference in attitudes.

When I see the behavior of Thai ladies I understand why so many go there year after and fall in love. I believe there is a hidden romantic inside all of us – even in the most hardened man. Perhaps the west may not be the most ideal place to reveal this. But one thing is for sure… Thailand encourages and nurtures this aspect of man's personality and that perhaps explains why they keep going back. They feel an absence of the nurturing personality that is so prevalent in Thailand. The feeling that this is lacking in the west reinforces the impact it has when interacting with Thai girls. This has a profound impact where it is difficult not to be completely infatuated and in love. When I am out there it is sometimes hard to remember that love can really hurt. But perhaps nowhere near as much as the absence of it.

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