Readers' Submissions

Can I Save Her?

  • Written by BM
  • October 11th, 2013
  • 6 min read


After spending the past couple of weeks reading so many other posts I had to put my thoughts down about the bargirl that has sent me into a spin.

Having landed in Thailand and having no prior experience I set out on my own, checked out Bangla Road albeit still early in the night and most of the bars were still setting up. Didn’t take long before I found a first port of call and started chatting to a couple of girls. After our short conversation I left and decided I'd start my slow trek back to hotel stopping at a few bars I had walked past earlier.

A few more bars later and more then a few games of connect four I reached the last bar on my trek just around the corner from my hotel. It was very quiet but the name of the bar was that of my favourite restaurant back home so I had to stop and have a drink. I was the only customer there and the moment I walked in I had two girls on my arms.

I sat down and started talking to one of them, before noticing that the other girls were all playing this dice game and drinking shots. It didn’t take long before I was at their table and joined in their game and before I knew it, we were all doing shots (thankfully not out of my pocket) and I was having a great a time, and that’s when I crossed eyes with her.

Up to this point in time I had been mostly laughing and joking with the more experienced girls that had conversational English, then as I was being passed the dice one slipped out of my hand and she grabbed it and handed it to me. Her smile had me in an instant. I asked her name and in a very shy voice she told me. I was then informed that she was 22 an had just arrived in Phuket a couple of months ago and knew very little English. I changed seats and sat next her, and we started a very brief conversation with the little English she knew. After our short conversation one of the other girls jumped in and started to tell me how cute and shy she was. I agreed and as I did I placed my hand on her leg to witch she pushed off and gave me this soft smile and blushed. I was hooked! I could have stared all night in to her eyes and after a few more rounds and a lot of shots I decided to take her back to my hotel (first and only time we talked about money). We stopped at a convenience store and grabbed a couple of drinks on the way. Once we got back we sat and talked and had a fantastic night. In the morning we had a brief conversation, I gave her money and as I headed out she went home.

Later that day as the sun started to set and I was getting ready to head out when her smile came to mind. I stopped at her bar first but was disappointed as she was not feeling well and was at home sick. The other girls thought it was funny and kept asking me what I had fed her (unsure if she had all ready been barfined but doubt it as it was still very early in the night) so I left and hit the bars and met a lot of nice girls but didn’t feel like taking any back.

Saturday and it was the semi-finals of the football and I had organised with the owner of the bar to put the football on for me. As soon as I walked in to the bar there she was sitting there. She immediately came up to me with her smile and asked how I was. We sat down and watched the football before I left to grab some food and freshen up. I returned later that evening to watch the formula1 qualifying and soon after barfined her out of the bar. We went for a long walk along the beach and found a nice place to sit and have a drink before heading back to the hotel for another great night.

The next morning we woke up rather earlier due to the sunshine, but decided to stay in bed and talk. She left to get changed as I jumped into the shower to get ready and as planned she arrived back after an hour and we went and grabbed coffee and lunch before I walking her to work.

Sunday night Grand Prix night and I was there again in front of the TV with her by my side, after the race I we left together and went out for a nice dinner followed by a walk and couple of drinks on the beach.

Sadly Monday was to be my last night so we spent our day relaxed by the beach. It was the owner of the bars birthday that night so they were having a party at the bar and I was asked to come for dinner at the bar, it was a great night and we didn’t leave until rather late.

I had an 8:40 AM flight so had planned to leave at 6. I took her back and had gone out and brought her a bunch of flowers and a little keep sake, as soon as she noticed them on the bed she started to cry and held me so tightly. We stayed up most of the night in each other's arms. (I had placed money on the bow on the flowers and in the morning noticed that it was on the floor so I placed with her bag, she never asked once for or about money after the first night.)

5 AM arrived and I decided to walk her home. The entire walk she didn’t let go of my hand and held it very tightly. That was the hardest goodbyes I've ever had and could see a tear roll down her check as I turned to walk away. Se didn’t move until I was out of sight and just stood there for about a minute as I stopped to see what she would do.

Let's just say by the time I had arrived back home I was a mental wreck and couldn’t stop thinking about her. Since then we send messages to each other every day and photos now and we have also started video and phone calls. I have spoken to her about the reasons for why she is there, same story as all girls to support her family back home. We also talked about her education to which she has a diploma and I asked what she would do if she had help to look after her family. Her response was to go to university.

I haven’t offered her any financial assistance nor have I been asked for anything yet. At this point I’m planning a trip back again in 2 months to see her again.

At this point I think I’m looking to fellow readers for advice here, as to whether or not I can save this girl?

Can I take her out of the bars and help her to better herself?

Cheers for any advice.




Stickman says:

Whenever I am asked this question, I refer to this article, How to make it work with a Thai bargirl. I may have written this some 8 years ago but I think most of it is just as relevant today's as it was back then.