Ghost Made Her Cheat, Clarification and Update

I wanted to start by apologizing about my writing incompetence. English is not my first language, and I have attempted to do the best I can with grammar / vocabulary and editing (3 hours). So bear with me as I believe someone out there may learn a thing or two with my story.

But before I begin, I would like to thank all that replied to my original post. Some of you asked for more details as well as an update. So here it is. I owe it to you and Stickman for the support and wise words that I have received. You all, readers and posters and Stickman have saved me from going back and loosing everything that I have worked for in the last 30 years. I was a few inches from going over the cliff when I found this website! My heart is still empty and wounded. THANKS from the little I was able to save.

So here it is, friends:

I am a 42-year old man and work as a chef, and at times travel overseas to teach culinary skills — hence my trip to Pattaya in September 2012.

I hope my story will make a difference in someone's life and bank account. If not, then at least I feel little better by putting my story out there and sending it to the ghosts out there!

A year ago (September 2012) on business I met a nice looking girl in a market in Pattaya. It was my first time in Thailand and I was warned about the Pattaya girls, but she was different since I met her in the market and thought she was a good girl heading down the wrong path. I felt the need to step in and rescue her from the vicious grip of prostitution — and she was very grateful. All she needed was for me to help her with rent back home for 3 months (1,500 baht per month) or until she finds a job.

Even though we slept together I had no intention of making her my girlfriend. So back to Seattle I missed her, and we began long conversations over the phone and I began sending her a monthly allowance of 10,000 baht so she didn't have to go to work at all and take care of her 4-year old girl.

But the daily conversations and her misfortune in life prior to meeting me made me fall hard and pity her even though I was sending her a monthly allowance. I felt so sorry and wanted to help her so much to get out of this predicament that I removed all entertainment out of my life in order to save every penny and began eating only rice and vegetables so I could save enough to buy her a business. But before giving her money to start a real business, I wanted to test her true intentions. So I asked her what kind of business she would like to have and, to my surprise, she said she would like to sell water / soda from a cart — the cost was 50,000 baht (I thought this girl is definitely not after my money). She eventually set up a small cart and began selling soda for about a month. She couldn't make any money out of it (I went to Thailand in a surprise visit during this time to verify this for myself and true indeed she did have her little cart and was not making any money).

Now, I've fallen even more in love with this beautiful Thai girl sitting on the side of the road selling beverages and not making any money (besides the 15,000 baht I was sending her) that I offered to buy her a cosmetic business on the spot for 150,000 baht! I had to borrow the money but G was so different, she really wanted to do something with her life and she had proven it in these last 2 months.

After we shopped and found a rental space for her I came back to Seattle and I would call her every night, and at times in the very early AM and she always answered the phone and was always sweet and loving, talking for 2 hours at time — she was SO happy to have her own business and I was so happy to have made her dream come true. This reinforced our love, commitment and pursuit of a bright future together.

This of course led to another increase in the monthly allowance to 15,000 baht. All seemed to be going wonderful. To show my true intent and loyalty to G, I separate with my wife (living in separate rooms) and was awaiting the final divorce. G and I begin talking about marriage and kids. She is so happy about my divorce and wants me to take my 2-year old son to Thailand so she can raise him and I can keep on working in the USA and visit whenever I can and / or she can move with me to the USA – "up to you dalin'. What make you happy, me happy same same".

A couple of months ago we begin talking about buying a house for us and her grandparents who are old, ill and who live in a shack. So, we begin building a house for them on some land they own in Surin. At first I could swear she had told me the cost would be around 200,000 baht and the house would be finished by the time I come to Thailand in 2 months. So I send the first 20,000 baht to level the ground and also pay 60,000 baht for 2 bins of building material. Now the work has began and she sends me daily pics of the house being built. Then, a few days later she informs me that she placed another order for building material which would cost 200,000 baht. So, I tell her I don't have that kind of money and I was under the impression that it would take 4 months to build and that we could make payments. I'm shocked with what she tells me next:

G: I already placed the order for 2 more bins and I need 200,000 now. Man and uncle angry me too much!

Me: But, you said the complete house would cost 200,000? And now you're asking 200,000 for 2 bins..I'm confused.

G: Darling, I don't know too much number same same you. Is 2 plus six zero.

ME: (gasp) 2 MILLION BAHT!!!!

G: yes darling, but no pay together. Every month is ok.

So, I tell her this is going to be much, MUCH more than I can afford and maybe we should take our time building this house. So now I get a second job and tell her I'll begin sending her 60,000 baht a month starting September 15th. She agrees and I begin working my ass off not wanting to break my original promise of building a house (but, I could swear she had originally told me only 200,000 to build the house).

One week into my second job I began to suspect something was not right with her. Her phone seems to run out of battery quite often, and our late conversations are much shorter than usual. But, she blames this on working on the house and when she comes back to the her business she's exhausted. I can understand and I don't make a big deal about it. But, my suspicion leads me to the Stickman website and I began to look further into her past and all that she said that made no sense. So here they are:

When I met her in Pattaya, she was wearing very low cut / sexy shorts. She replied: "Everybody in Bangkok wear these."

She had a long floral tattoo on her stomach. She replied: "her friend had similar tattoo and she wanted the same."

3 months ago I couldn't get hold of her for 2 days. Then she called me from the hospital and informed me that she was ill and needed 40,000 baht. She sensed that I didn't have the money and she said she was going to take care of it with credit card that she had with Bangkok Bank. (A few days later she admitted to lying and that she went to the hospital to open her tube so she can get pregnant) – This is when she met Tone who was a car salesman and brought her milk and cookies.

5 months ago she asked me for 100,000 baht which she needed as a downpayment to lease a new room in Surin for her business – I declined, and she apparently borrowed the money from street lender 'mafia'.

I know that she doesn't make this much money to be able to repay the 2 big debts of 140,000 and she never mentions them again. And, I don't mention anything as well.

As I'm going through all of this in my head, and working all day and night. I find time to read some more of Stickman's submissions and decide to be a little smarter about this situation.

I get hold of one of her previous Facebook friends from before (before I met her). And he pretty much spills the beans and asks me if G still works at a the gogo bar in Pattaya.

I had my suspicions but now it is confirmed that she was in Pattaya working as gogo dancer. So, I call her immediately and confronted her with this. She is calm and tells me that she now wants to terminate the relationship since she doesn't want her boyfriend and future husband (me) to know that she was a prostitute at one point in her life. So, I convince her that I understand and that I still want to be with her regardless of what she did in the past…as long as she is good now, this is all I care about.

As I'm going through all of this in my head (again), 10 minutes pass and I get a text message from Tone (I don't know who this man is. That is until I recall the hospital incident where she said she met a man by that name who later brought her milk and cookies).

Actual SMS:

Tone: I love G. Something you not know about me and she. I know you love she. I know about you everything. You are good man. But I want to tell you I love she to much.

ME: What you do with she?

Tone: She love you. I love she. She wait you. I wait she. You have money much. I not have much. I sleep with she. You call she. You know I so sad. I love she. You know.

ME: Why you sleep with she? When?

Tone: Throughout the month. And month. We live together very often. She said you have to wait for the divorce the wife, I love her as a person as well.

ME: I call her every night and every morning. You lie! Why you want to break us?

Tone: I now regret. No. She chose your money. But she said it is because she has children. She says that you are a good person. Acceptance and forgiveness in her had.

ME: You sleep with her at your house or she business?

Tone: The evening we were together, you always come early and often, when you call the better part of the morning, I hear you calling chicken was at my house. You take her to see. She said the battery will run out and no internet, I slept with her and listening to you talk to her to sleep almost every time. (I remember that day. I asked her where she was at, and she said she was at grandma's house).

Tone: She come to me at my house. And hotel some time and bring her daughter. She know my mother too.

So, I immediately call G again (I had just called her few minutes before about the gogo bar and how she managed to lie to me about it).

She of course denies it and says "he is just a friend". I then tell her that I have all of their SMS together. She sobs and she said that she can't remember sleeping with him and that her friends told her that he had done some sort of black magic on her. And that a ghost had invaded her body — hence not remembering anything.

At this point not knowing how much Tone had told me, I pressure her into telling me everything.

Well, for the last month she (or probably even before that with other men) she has been going to his house at night and pretending to be in her business. Since he was a car salesman he was helping her buy the building materials and finding the journeyman to build OUR house. She swore that she never loved him, and she wanted to only be with me. And if I didn't want to be with her, she would never want to be with him (she was sleeping with him. And she actually accepted a ring from him). A couple of weeks ago I stopped answering her phone calls as she still needed the 250,000 for the last bin.

I told her to ask Tone, It is now time for him to start paying for the remainder of the house. Two days ago, he posts their pics together in a hotel.

If Tone could hear me, I would like to tell him thank you! Thank you for waking me up. Thank you for making it easy for me to remove her from heart. But, most importantly thank you for stopping me from sending her thousands and thousands of dollars to complete the house.

She did tell me that she attempted to stop seeing him before but he threatened her and she kept on going back to see him. I must admit, if this man was devious he would have kept a low key and be the boyfriend on the side and enjoy all the dollars from this stupid farang in Seattle – I'm baffled on why he chose to tell me all about it!

Any thoughts?

Stickman says:

Don't look back!