What’s Missing In The Farang / Thai Relationship?
There is a plethora of "sad sack" stories in the readers' submissions – and most of them follow the same route to the "train wreck". The journey normally begins in one or more Bangkok bars (or elsewhere) – usually run by a Farang (or, more frequently now, by an Arab) – so it hardly surprises anyone who knows a bit about the scene what the end result will be. It's a little like panning for gold nuggets in the tailings of a lead mine. Mind you, it may be possible to get lucky – but don't bet on it.
It's the same old story – a boys' night out on the town by tanking up first and then thinking it might be a good idea to try and bag a lady for the night. That's the first mistake – no! no! no! No woman in her right mind wants a smelly, drunken sod pawing over her and expecting her to pretend that she is enjoying the procedures. It comes down to reality checks on the part of the punter and putting oneself in the place of the girl chosen – and, of course, one has to know what it is that they expect to come of the encounter. If one is just after a quick screw and nothing more, then follow the above recipe – but I can tell you now that the result will be a foregone conclusion. It's the same old story – you only get what you put in (and that's not a pun).
So let's cut to the end-game, stop all the bullshit and get to the crux of the matter. I do not frequent bars run by Farangs and I never go drinking with Farangs because there is absolutely no point in doing so. I spent a lifetime working with them – why would I wish to socialise with them? You never know who you are drinking with – so you consequently never trust anyone else in the bar – and the whole exercise is a total waste of time. Buying a bar lease is the worst business investment that any Farang could enter into, simply because you are a Farang and will never get to know the "duck's guts" of what is really going on by only mixing with Farangs.
I agree with an opinion Stick expressed some time back that he really enjoys hanging out in establishments run by Thais when he is out to have a good time. I also think that Thais are much more fun to be with than Farangs, where the conversation is normally about criticism of the girls, the Thais and the negative aspects of The Kingdom. I don't want to hear that crap or the drunken ramblings of over-exaggerated conquests or fortunes they have made or that they still (supposedly) have.
Forget camaraderie because it is non-existent in a bar drinking with Farangs – and if you believe it is then you are delusional. I came to Thailand to be with Asians (Thais in particular) – if I wanted to drink or mix with Farangs, I can do that in any place in my country of origin – so what's the point in coming to Asia if that's all you want to do? Some of the most interesting conversations I have are with Japanese or Korean businessmen on golfing holidays – where you get to talk about real life – not just hearsay.
My basic nature is to be a lone wolf and to choose very carefully with whom I socialise – and I really do prefer the company of Thais because I was socialising with them for 16 years both in Thailand and in my home country. I understand them and respect their customs and expectations.
Trust is the key to success when dealing with Thais – and don't expect that to come without proving yourself. It also goes without saying that respect is very high on their list of expectations – if you don't know that (and show it) you will get nowhere in any dealings with Thais. I've said this before and I will say it again: "Trust is something that is not given lightly – it has to be earned, normally over a lengthy period".
My experiences in Thailand have always been in the company of Thais – quite often staying in their family home, right from the beginning – but, mostly, I choose to stay in one of the mid-range hotels (quite often Baiyoke Sky in BKK or Centara Duangtawan in CNX. My regular Thai female partner has been with me for a number of years and, since finding her, I no longer visit bars looking for casual sex – but, when I do go to a bar these days, it is only during the day for Thai companionship when my lady is working or attending to the needs of her family. She always stays with me in the hotel of choice when I am in Thailand.
I am the sort of guy who prefers to call a spade a shovel – and I do not suffer fools gladly, so I am not likely to ever be inclined to socialise with the normal Farang bar set. You are more likely to find me happily socialising with my partner's family in BKK or even, on occasions, with the family of my former Thai wife in BKK – accompanied on those occasions by my Thai partner. She is happy socialising with them as well. All of my other Thai friends are in positions of responsibility or retired from Government positions.
With reference to the recent sub by Bokbefok – "The Farangs of Thailand (16-08-2013)": This is a perfect example of why I
never mix with Farangs in bars – they are full of know-it-all bullshit but know nothing when it comes down to the crunch – and you will normally find these types hiding behind anonymity by never including a contact address. My advice would be
to do some proper homework on Thai history to get a real understanding of the Thailand about which you know so very little – and even less about the "Farathais" of which you write. Whether you own/lease a bar, have a Masters Degree,
a rich family to fall back on, or any other grandiose claim – I don't really give a rat's arse. It is obvious you are ignorant when it comes to knowledge of Thailand and the many and varied sorts who visit or live permanently in The
Kingdom. <I don't think Bokbefok was taking himself too seriously, yet at the same time some of his character descriptions were eerily accurate and I don't doubt he hit a nerve with some people who saw themselves in what he wrote and didn't like it! – Stick>
What's missing in the Farang / Thai relationship? Total ignorance by people like yourself of the basics when it comes to human interaction and understanding of the Thai culture. Do you speak, read and write Thai? I don't think so. Some people will never have it simply because they are not interested in anything but their own small world. Get off that bar stool and get a life.
While your positive attitude about Thailand and the Thais is to be admired, I can't help but feel you have the rosiest tinted set of glasses out there…