The Ethics Of Relationships With Thai Girls
Sometimes I have trouble reconciling the motives and execution in how we form sexual liaisons with young Thai girls working in bars or escort agencies. Perhaps it's as I have gotten older that I tend to look back and examine the morals of what has gone before – and there is often a twinge of guilt that I wish was not there. It's hard to put any particular event in the frame that could lead to these feelings being present – maybe just a general appraisal that something, somewhere, was not particularly kosher.
We know that these young girls (and some not so young) are engaging with us for the reward of money – and it is their choice to do so (in most cases) but that does not make the feelings of misgiving stop hovering around in the memory banks. Well, that's how it is for me – and I would guess that there are quite a number of us who would have to admit that they have had similar feelings.
The thing that triggered these feelings this week was an ad that runs on Stick's pages for an escort agency that I will not identify. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with the ad or the agency that owns the ad – but I always click on all the ads to see what's inside each of them. The girl in the ad caught my eye and I identified her. She is 20 years of age and cute as cute can be – and I thought how I would feel if she were my daughter working in a job that I see as way below what is probably her potential.
Her lovely face is synonymous with so many that have gone before and, OK, she is working up-market – but it is the same set of circumstances for all girls working in the industry in so many bars and gogo establishments throughout Thailand. I wonder does the thought ever cross our minds that we have "spoiled" something perfectly beautiful for a fleeting moment of self-gratification? I am as guilty as anyone in this – but that feeling often flashes into my consciousness.
I wonder if there should be some moral code that we should all live by as "mongers" where any female under 25 is off limits to us for sex – but, by all means to take to dinner or wherever she wants to go so that she is not cut out of the earning cycle and is remunerated as if she had provided sex. Wouldn't that make us feel better as men, to know we had done something decent? I know, for myself, I really do prefer women older than 25 because they are more likely to have things in common with me that we can share. The ones older than 30 are my favourites.
Quite often, I look back at all the 20-year-olds and the ones in between there and 25 – and I wonder where they are today and if their dreams were made reality. Many of them would have been university students, moonlighting for the extra money and perhaps dreaming of a farang to take them back to his country so she can do a master's degree in whatever subject she graduated with in Thailand. Perhaps she did that and is happily married in that country – maybe even with a couple of kids and working in her chosen profession as an IT consultant or in medicine, even. I like to think that has come true for them – I do sincerely hope so.
I was always brought up to see time as money – and, as innocuous as it is in what I often do by sitting and chatting to girls in a bar, I am aware that I am very likely wasting their time when they could be earning money doing something else. OK, I buy them drinks – but that's all. It's not really hitting the jackpot for them, is it? Sure, if another customer comes in and wants one to go short-time, they are free to go. I just hope that is how they see it. I always do tell them I have a lady and really only want to share some time chatting over a few drinks with them – and that is always fine by them.
Sometimes I wonder what Thailand would be like if there was no sex industry – would we still have Farangs coming to BKK or CNX, or to Pattaya and Phuket. Would they still come to see the wonders that there are in The Kingdom – or would they change their destination to The Philippines or only go to Cambodia?
Going back to my times in music, one song has always stuck in my memory – and from that song I guess a strong bond was forged with "hookers". The song was "Bed Of Roses", made popular by American group The Statler Brothers.
BED OF ROSES
She was called a scarlet woman by the people
Who would go to church but left me in the streets
With no parents of my own, I never had a home
And an eighteen year old boy has got to eat
She found me outside one Sunday morning
Begging money from a man I didn't know
She took me in and wiped away my childhood
A woman of the streets this lady Rose
This bed of roses that I lay on
Where I was taught to be a man
This bed of roses where I'm livin'
Is the only kind of life I'll understand
She was a handsome woman just thirty-five
Who was spoken to in town by very few
She managed a late evening business
Like most of the town wished they could do
And I learned all the things that a man should know
From a woman not approved of, I suppose
She died knowing that I really loved her
From life's bramble bush I picked a rose
CH x 2
I really do love that song – and, if I am honest, I really do love all "hookers". Where would we be without them? We should always treat them well and show them respect at all times – perhaps even protecting the younger ones by our hopefully-wiser instincts.
It's just a thought that could turn into reality, if we tried.
If it's a relationship as opposed to be a bit of fun, I simply cannot understand why guys go for women so young. Even if it is just fun, I wouldn't want to be around a Thai lady aged under 25. Around 30 would be much more preferable.