The Ploy Cowboy…
I am a 55 year old dude from California.
I've been spilt-up with my ex for almost three years now…two twelve year relationships that seem to have just ran their course.
No kids of my own, but I helped raise a boy and a girl…an experience for which I am truly grateful.
In the past three years, I have been on dating sites like pof.com and match.com…dating women my age or slightly younger…DOZENS of dates. I never came close to finding an acceptable woman…except for one lady seventeen years my junior, whom lasted three months with me…but she was younger…seventeen years is the widest age gap that is socially, or so I have been told, acceptable in the USA…any larger of a gap and it gets "wierd"…speaking of wierd…she was a bit of a hippie, building a house on the side of a mountain, her ten acres, made from cut trees and corrugated plastic, with no windows or doors…a ten minute hike up a steep incline….in San Diego.
I guess I wasn't "hippie" enough for her.
Older ladies have issues and baggage… older ladies have history…and any history, good or bad, is bad…to me at least. But the main issue I have with older ladies is: they make me feel older just by looking at them…and I don't need that right now…I know I look old and have history…but I like what I like. Maybe someday if I keep trying, I'll find someone, much younger, who will accept my looks, history, baggage and issues.
It is so difficult finding the right older woman…it is like looking for a needle in a haystack it seems…on the other hand, there is nothing more exciting than watching the eyes of a 23 year old darling playing her very first hand of blackjack at a casino….I live vicariously through them…it makes me feel younger.
Anyway, I realized I prefer younger ladies…aged 18-38, but when I tried to contact them via dating sites, most of them thought I was a dirty old man pervert or whatever…it made me feel sleazy…and maybe I am, but I just love hanging out with a pert 23 year old…sleeping, snuggling…dinner and breakfast.
But young ladies are no bargain…they have issues also…but different kinds of issues. They are just coming into themselves, discovering just who they are…they don't have the feelings of entitlement that their older sisters have. Young ladies: flaky, fickle, fun, funny and fabulous. Me: selfish, superficial, shallow, sluttish and self-absorbed…a match made in heaven.
…and so…for whatever reason, a last resort maybe… I turned to Craigslist. I felt bad …I had hit a new low. I said to myself: sleazy Craigslist…dirty and disgusting Craigslist…have you hit rock bottom, Angus?
My plan was to become a sugar daddy…"sugar daddy seeks sugar baby" the headline read… "one night a week or two weekends a month…friendship, fun, travel, shopping."
My plan was to find a long-term relationship via a different tactic…"daddism".
One ad was all it took to make my dreams come true…or so I thought…in no time I was dating young cute hard-bodies …actually, about 90% of the respondents where exactly 23 years old…I found that interesting…
and so… I became very familiar with the prostitute thing…that's basically all it is…but the girls rationalize being a hooker by thinking: I'm a sugar baby, a glamorous movie star in a relationship…
I had tremendous response from my ad…complete with pictures and promises of a good time. I had my choice of the best looking girls (some 8's…not bad for Craigslist) and dated them all: black, brown, indigo, yellow, white, red….all shapes and sizes…and they were all YOUNG…
I was dating up a storm and finally found the one I was looking for…pretty, with personality plus…who knew what it took…and mature…a shimmering diamond in the Craigslist rough…my long-term sweetie…an 18 year old pre-med student from SDSU…my first Asian as well…
Well that lasted only 4 weekends…in fact I couldn't get any girl to date me more than 4 dates…
I couldn't believe it! 200 for all night or 400/USD for a weekend…with meals, travel and shopping…most of these girls were quite desperate themselves economically…so what was up with that?
I think it was because I am an old dude….(and maybe because these girls aren't that desperate…yet)… average looks and build, full head of hair, a good heart… and fun. I have been told I am a good "catch"… but for these girls it has still gotta be pretty gross. I admit, it takes a certain type of girl…but this brought me to a newer low…I couldn't even pay for sex as a way of finding a long-term relationship.
Then, to rub salt in the wound, my search criteria had been limited by one of the dating sites…I could only contact women 41 years. or older now….wow…this is the email they sent me:
Hello, Thank you for taking the time to email POF.com.When Markus created POF, it was all about finding a relationship with the right person. For the first 7 years this worked really well, the site grew to 10 million users without any employees, and POF was generating a ton of relationships. Around 3 years ago, everyone started using the website via mobile phones. Today about 70% of POF use is via a mobile phone and unfortunately about 2% of men started to use POF as more of a hookup site mostly due the casual nature of cell phone use. In sticking with our vision that POF is all about Relationships, POF is going to make a bunch of changes to ensure it stays a relationship-focused site.1. Any first contact between users that contains sexual references will not be sent. Anyone who tries to get around this rule will be deleted without warning. This rule has actually been in effect since last month and it's made the site so much better.2. You can only contact people +/- 14 years of your age. There is no reason for a 50 year old man to contact a 18 year old women. The majority of messages sent outside those age ranges are all about hookups. Anyone who tries to get around this rule will get deleted.3. Intimate Encounters will go away in the next few months. There are 3.3 Million people who use the site every day, of those there are only 6,041 single women looking for Intimate Encounters. Of those 6,041 women, the ones with hot pictures are mostly men pretending to be women. Intimate Encounters on POF can be summed up as a bunch of horny men talking to a bunch of horny men pretending to be women. In short the vast majority of people will not be impacted. This is because the vast majority of people are not going around spamming women saying "let's have sex tonight". Markus can't change POF alone, we need your help to get the word out there that POF is all about relationships!
Now I'm not a very good writer (as you can probably tell), but I was so upset I wrote back to Natasha to protest:
I am saddened and hurt that you consider me to be someone reprehensible or just looking for a "hookup" because I prefer younger ladies.
"There is no reason for a 50 year old man to contact a 18 year old women."
WHAT??…so in your discretionary OPINION an age-gap relationship must be a "hookup"??…
Granted, most age-gap relationships don't work out (how many "normal" ones do?) , but I assure you, I am NOT looking for a "hookup".
In the past three years I have had dozens of dates with women my age thanks to pof and I haven't found anything close to my expectations for a long-term relationship…the dates with much younger ladies are by far closer to working out than older women….these older women are mostly looking for hookups, IMHO, and basically are "damaged goods" with issues and baggage…and they know it.
"+/- 14 yrs" …what kind of BS is this? why is this the "magic number"…sounds to me like an opinion of a prudish old puritanical lady. this is the 21st century you know?
I am in Thailand as I type this (I wasn't really), and have lost contact with a couple of very good prospects (which is true) for a long-term relationship…but thanks to your arbitrary and delusional thinking, you may have ruined a perfectly average and normal age-gap relationship.
if you check any of my emails you will find nothing crude, socially unacceptable or immoral in regards to me looking for a long-term relationship with a young lady AND I have never had contact blocked by any lady …if ladies don't want to be contacted by older gentlemen they can filter me out for goodness sake….geez, that's what filters are for, correct?
I suppose I will have to delete my account, find a more specialized website, and let everyone I know how backwards the mentality of your organization is.
Needless to say, I received no response…
It was then that I realized that my dream was not going to happen…another new low…how low could I go? I stopped dating and started to masturbate more…coincidentally, my bank account started to rise also…but then I found sticky bro's blog: http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/ …it gave me hope.
It made me happy knowing that I am not a pervert and there are open-minded people just like me out there. I felt much better reading about guys with basically the same story… wrinkled, old, fat, ugly, desperate, romantic, lonely hearted dudes trying to live their fantasies and to recapture their long lost youth…while in their pursuit of happiness: a long term relationship.
I discovered a place where they don't judge age-gap relationships…where young girls are open to dating an old dude….a place where people are open-minded and accepting: THAILAND !
I made immediate plans for the trip…
Ok, now you know a little about my background, I will try to make the Thailand story short and sweet.
My first day in BKK was a jet-lagged drunk…second day I set out to find some fun…I don't usually use maps and generally get lost wandering…I like wandering…makes me feel free…I like freedom.
Hit a couple of bars and before long I was twisted again…hangover gone, replaced by a new drunk…I was tired of walking so I thought I'd get my first massage.
She was a nice lady, not special to look at…took me upstairs, showered and had a nice massage…fell asleep a couple of times. then the happy ending came…a very talented bj.
Walked out of there feeling like jello…buzzed, tired and spent…walking slow like a REAL old man. It was hot and humid… I had the farang sweat thing going on…dripping.
Only one block away I discovered the famous Soi Cowboy street and ambled down it. It was 3 o'clock in the afternoon and nothing was really happening. I made it to the end of the street and was thirsty again…stopped in the bar on the corner and met the mamasan.
I was the only person there except four average looking bar girls, which mamasan offered me.
I explained my situation and offered that I would be back later that night…then fell asleep head down on the table…
Somehow got back to the Dream Hotel (a very nice place btw 55/USD with a great breakfast included) and slept until 10 PM…
"woke up got out of bed, dragged the comb across my head…found my way downstairs and had a smoke…somebody spoke and I went into a dream"—Lennon/mcartney
Before I go any further I must tell you about a certain fetish I have….I like bangs…I mistakenly thought that was how Bangkok got it's name…there are a lot of girls with bangs there ya know…
BANGS: A fringe, or bangs, is a shaped cutting of the front part of the hair so that it lies over the forehead. A classic fringe (bang) is cut fairly straight at or above the eyebrows, but they can also be ragged or ruffled, spiked up with hair gel, swept to one side or the other, or cut longer to fall over the eyes.—-Wikipedia.
The bang fetish came after three years of looking at pictures of women on dating sites…I figured out that I'd rather look at hair than a forehead…simple as that…but then it became an obsession.
There are many kinds of bangs…I happen to like straight bangs, right at eye level.
Types of bangs:
Straight: Hair combed straight down with no interference.
Blunt: Hair cut straight across the forehead in a blunt manner.
Sideswept: Hair is cut longer than a normal fringe and swept across one side of the face.
Pin-up: Hairs are cut in a short "U" shape above the brows, which was made famous by Bettie Page and is now worn by many pin-up girls.
V-shaped: A type of fringe where the cut is such that the fringe is longer in the center and gets shorter the farther it goes out from the center
Parted: Hair parted down the middle or off center slightly
Choppy aka Piece-y: Hair cut uneven and choppy finish where a set of individual strands stand out, feathered-like
Brow-Skimming: Hair that hits below the brow and can look "heavy" or "light" on the face
Wispy: Hair that "sprinkles" over the forehead lightly.
Power: Sometimes referred to as power bangs in the U.S., a hair style in which the hair is unusually large and protrudes from the top of the scalp near the forehead to up to great lengths
Short/baby: Hair which is usually cut above the brows, it is normally bluntly cut across the middle of the forehead and can be shorter.
Shaved: The hair at the front (the part that makes the fringe) is shaved off. It can also be used to undercut fringes or bangs. ——Wikipedia
Anyway, I take a motorbike taxi back to the bar on the corner, where I find a live band playing. I sit outside watching the old men with young girls walking by and I smile…
I hear the band playing in the background…not too loud…perfect.
Mamasan sits down next to me asks if I want a drink and can she have one too…then the four girls from the afternoon sit down…they are thirsty also…I oblige. The other girls are standing on the curb offering their charms to passers by…I instinctively look for girls with bangs first of all, and at the end of the line I notice a little girl with bangs acting nonchalantly. I can't see much of her, but she definitely has bangs…straight bangs. I took a swag of my Singha and smiled.
Once again, the girls at the table did not hold my interest and I starting glancing at the girl farthest away more and more…
I go into my spiel about bangs…and the girls are entertained….have another beer, then I ask about the girl at the end of the line…
I walk over to her and ask if I could take a picture of her bangs…they are spectacular…it was love at first sight.
her name? hint: it rhymes with SOI.
…she was 25 years old, looked and acted like 18…very cute…and I'm a sucker for a pretty face…the makeup she wore made her face look rather white…like a China doll. She had the most awesome bangs, which sent me over the top… I was totally gaga.
She previously had held eight jobs, none of which paid much, and none of which she was particularly good at…from dental assistant to office worker, factory work to a reception job in a hotel…so her aunt talked her into working at the bar…she said that she had been a bargirl for almost a month (I later found out that this is a common theme).
I suppose she wasn't too bright, but I couldn't tell…I'm no Einstein myself…I was just trying to communicate. Her English was ok…better than my Thai anyway…. she was cheerful, enthusiastic and fresh.
She was from the Isaan… (are there any girls left there?). Her skin was darker than most Thais…and unlike the USA, having tan skin is not considered beautiful, sexy or desirable…maybe this is why she used the lighter makeup.
Anyway, she seemed to truly like me…unlike most of my sugarbabys in the USA. I paid the bar fine of 700 baht…I call it a rental fee… (if it flies, floats or f**ks—then rent it)… my little girl wanted 2000 baht for an overnight visit…we said goodbye to mamasan and quickly caught a cab to the Dream Hotel.
The night was incredible and I have rarely been treated so well by a lady…so tender and caring…and loving?
I can usually tell how much a girl likes me by the way they kiss on the lips and her full lips fit my rather biggish lips perfectly…there was such passion in her kisses, I felt like we had just gotten married and was on our honeymoon…that's what I told her.
Once you go Asian, you'll never go Caucasian. Jesus, this girl put them all to shame…for a fraction of the price…
The next day we went to breakfast and hung out all day, doing the tourist stuff…the temples, Khao San road, walking by the river.
We talked and she was very sincere, honest and openly affectionate….I told her that she didn't belong in the bar, she wasn't that type and I warned her about what it would do to her brain over the long-term…cynicism and jadedness…unable to truly love again. I didn't want to see that happen to her…I wanted to rescue her from the bar.
She agreed to spend another night with me, so I booked the hotel for another night, paid the bar fine…and she was mine again…and oh, it was so nice. Dude, I was really falling for this girl. I love that special feeling when bonding with someone.
"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame in an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."— Albert Schweitzer
But I had basically just got in to town and was falling in love, just as planned, but I had also planned to go to Chiang Mai to check out the city as a place to retire…
So reluctantly, I told my sweetie I had to go the next day but would be back in Bangkok in about a week…I hated to leave, I could have stayed…I could have taken her with me, but I had a future to plan…or maybe I thought I could find someone better? …or maybe it was that little voice in the back of my head reminding me to heed the warnings of most of the authors on this blog…thanks comrades!
to be continued?
Very nicely put together and I love your frankness and honesty!