The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

I love this site and enjoy most submissions here and I just feel it's worth sharing a few of the experiences that I have had here in Asia but primarily in Thailand, Vietnam and the Philippines.

The first visit had been in 2006, the typical story of a 45-year old guy from London, divorced, adult sons etc. I found myself somewhat impoverished with a few significant health issues which restrict my working. I first visited Asia for 12 months after a problematic relationship with a skunk fueled 30-year old English woman.

I had very little knowledge of Asia and for all the wrong reasons decided on a year out. The first port of call was Bangkok…

I wasn't really interested in the bar scene and had seen most of it before in Europe. (I do admit that Thailand is an exception). What I mean is that I have always been able to scratch my itch in Europe.

I had no preconceived plans of what to do and where to go. I just needed a year to get my head straight. Hindsight is a wonderful thing as they say.

My first hotel was adjacent to the Arab quarter, a few hundred yards from the skytrain and a few hundred more yards to Nana Plaza.

I spent my first week getting acclimatized and every day having a meander around, venturing a few hundred yards further every day, taking it all in.

I found it very interesting that during my walks along Sukhumvit I would see many freelancers hanging around but was never approached or hassled at all. During frequent visits to a nearby sports bar, girls would approach me but would never stay long when I explained that I was only there for a beer and the football on TV.

During my time people watching on the terrace outside the hotel I would get to know the hotel staff and a few traders etc and a guy in his 60s was invariably hanging around trying to get fares into his well used Mercedes. Once I had become a bit more confident I would talk to the staff and the taxi guy and go somewhere on my own everyday – the parks, markets, malls, temples and the like. One of my excursions was to a carp farm and during this trip about an hour or so outside central Bangkok I spotted a local market and stopped for a wander around. I had noticed a hair salon near where we had parked and I seemed to have been noticed by a few of the girls working there and decided to pop in for a haircut. One particular girl caught my eye.

Golf was 27 very shy and very cute. She worked on the reception and spoke reasonable English. I asked her out for a coffee but she was having none of it.

When I got back to my hotel I was having a beer and chat with the barman. He had heard via the grapevine that I had asked a girl to go for a coffee. He told me that if I returned with a Starbucks take out and a muffin the following day she would say yes. He was right. She did agree and I had my first date with a Thai girl.

We were chaperoned by an aunt on our first lunch date and again on our second date. After that we would meet as a couple. We spent many hours talking about our lives and Golf went out and bought a electronic translator which became invaluable during those moments of confusion in our conversations.

As you know this is not anything out of the ordinary in Thailand but during the process, I found it fascinating.

During those weeks together in no particular order she would in true Thai fashion try to take care of me and infiltrate and control my life – and I was loving it.

I was living the moment and had no agenda about what was going on and no plan to do anything other than enjoy my time with a sexy, cute, funny, attentive, educated and normal girl from the sprawling suburbia of Bangkok.

We would meet most of the time on the terrace of the hotel. She would drive to pick me up or she would get the sky-train. After 3 weeks, out of the blue over coffee she asked if she could see my room. When we got to the room she was all over me and the sex was passionate but not that fantastic. Sex was always initiated by her and could occur at anytime in the car or at the hotel. Within 2 days of having sex for the first time I was relocated from my hotel near Nana to another nearer her home. The sex got better and better and better. She had a substantial itch which required at least a twice daily scratch. We never had full sex in her home and she would never stay overnight. Every Sunday we would spend all afternoon in bed and she would ride me every time I was able or plant herself on my face, bless her heart.

We were together for 4 months and during this time she had 3 weeks away from work and spent all her time with me. I met all her family and friends and would stay over at her home in a separate room. We never had full sex there. Golf would not use a swimming pool and would never allow intimate contact outside of the car, the hotel or her bedroom. She was a limpet everywhere we went, clamped to my arm and was always looking at me with those dark, deep and hypnotic eyes.

Golf was never demanding financially and lived in a middle class area with her mother and grandmother. She always had a smile on her face and she was very proud of Thailand and very happy to live the rest of her life in Thailand. She asked me only once if I wanted a Thai wife and I said I didn't know. I asked her if she wanted a farang husband she said no. She wanted a Thai husband.

She would not allow me to waste money and she would wash and cook for me most days. If she found that I had used a dry cleaner's she would tell me that I had hurt her feelings.

She loved to take me on days out. She was so proud of her culture and her country.

I fully understand why foreign men fall for these wonderful Thai women and I fully understand why some of these women take advantage of these men, men like me. Under different circumstances or at a different time of my life I could have fallen in love with Golf. She told me that she agreed to a date because she was very curious about farang men but had never really been attracted to a farang.

We parted on very good terms and understood that I wanted to travel and I understood that she wanted a Thai man. I know that we both enjoyed our time together and remain good friends seven years after we first met.

To follow, THE BAD.