Life in Suburbia
I want to share the joys of living in suburban Chiang Mai.
I hear and read many stories from fly by night observers reporting on the highly trodden tourist traps. Let me tell you all very clearly that such reports do not typify life for average people living in the suburbs of Chiang Mai.
I think a lot of the reports are completely wrong and seem to be very biased against the expat men who live here. Many of these reports are written by Western woman who I suspect have had the experience of losing a husband or father to an Eastern lady.
The putting down of Western men by referring to them as “creepy old men” or describing them as “old, bald, fat and undesirable” only demonstrates the distain of the authors of such biased reports. <Alternatively it could be an accurate description of a person's physical appearance – Stick>
In all the time I have been here I have never heard a Western man reciprocate with similar vile descriptors. Most of the men have come here first and foremost to escape a life in Western culture full of such negativity.
Somehow some of us have managed to escape and have found a world with no yelling, no screaming, no demands, no put downs, no expectations, no sarcasm, no envy, no rivalry, no anger, no resentment, no comparison, no judgment, no walls, no barriers, no hypocrisy, no agendas . . . no stress! Maybe that is why so few Thais have grey hair . . . LOL.
Here a man can find himself a soul mate whose astounding outer beauty is surpassed by her inner beauty. This is a dilemma for Western women because they cannot compete on either basis. In all the time I have been here I have never met a single guy who wants to go back to a relationship with a Western woman.
Unfortunately both Western men and women are bombarded constantly by consumerist propaganda in a futile attempt to pump a few more breaths of life to the giant Poncy scheme of the West. The Hollywood propaganda machine is a most effective tool for this because it can do this subliminally. The movie “The Pursuit of Happiness” says it all, when Will Smith has lost his wife and is forced to sleep in a toilet in the subway, the movie portrays this as the lowest point of his life, and at the end of the movie when he becomes a multi-millionaire he is portrayed as successful having finally reached his goal. When in fact when having to sleep in a toilet, when having everything stripped away from him, he should have then been able to see he was actually a rich man as he had what really counted, his son by his side, they were together despite all the sh*t life could throw at them, that should have been the moment to celebrate and be joyous. This movie demonstrates Western culture is deeply sick and off track.
Most of the poor girls in the bars in Chiang Mai are not so young. They have put together their last few baht to buy a pretty dress and a bus ticket to travel a very long journey from distant provinces to Chiang Mai to try a find a husband. They may look young because of their slender bodies, a result of long hours toiling in sweltering rice fields, and zero exposure to Western junk food, but at closer inspection many of these girls are in their 30s and 40s. Most only have had very minimal schooling as they were needed in the rice paddy, so when they come to CNX they gained employment doing foot massage or selling drinks. They generally don’t have to wait long before a Westerner comes along who appreciates them and before you know it they are off living happily married in the suburbs.
I admire greatly the courage of both the Western men and Thai ladies to take such a brave step to go out there and have a look.
I am so appreciative of and in love with my most beautiful Thai wife. She grew up in the jungle in a house made from bamboo with no electricity, no running water and no toilet. Still she managed to get herself a very good education with two university degrees, with a work history in law enforcement and finance, and now over-sees several very successful businesses.
Although we have an age difference of 30 years, we get on amazingly well. From my observations whether it is a Thai / Farang or a Thai / Thai relationship, the age difference is typical for the culture in this area.
There are many very good Thai ladies out there, please treat them with the respect they deserve.
Stickman's thoughts:
It's nice to hear from someone so happy, although I have to say there's a real heavy tint in those glasses you're wearing!
It's interesting to hear you say that you left the West to ESCAPE – your word, not mine. I don't see the West as bad at all and if I could make a seamless move back today, I would.
We all came to Thailand for different reasons. FI came seeking excitement and adventure. There was nothing to ESCAPE from. Most of the ills of the West you mention I have never seen. Generally expensive? Yes! A little cool at times? Yes! A bit too PC at times? Yes. That's really about the end of my complaints.
Having a word with the other half, we both agree that much of what you complain about in the West is at least as, if not more prevalent in Thailand than in the West! Jealousy, anger, demands, resentment, the complaints you have about the West are all here! Thailand may be a better option for the single man, and one can have a great life here, about that there is no doubt. I do think, however, that you paint a rather negative picture of the West and a rather more positive picture of Thailand than is the reality.
