Stickman Readers' Submissions March 28th, 2013

Recurring Theme In Submissions Which Is Beginning To Irritate Me

It seems that so many submissions on here have a recurring theme that will offend and annoy any farang in Thailand that does not exclusively date or befriend the lowest class of Thai society. That being that the terms ‘most thai girls’, ‘most thai men’ and ‘most thai girlfriends/wives’ are completely misused time after time. What these submissions mean to say is ‘most Thai prostitutes’, ‘most male relatives in Issarn of a bar girl’, and ‘most ex bar girls’. Not only would these unfair generalisations be offensive to many self-respecting Thai people (and myself); it also cultivates a false idea of the average Thai person, which farang believe they have to put up with by virtue of living in Thailand. This is incorrect; farang simply need to venture outside of Pattaya and Phuket and stop dating and interacting with the absolute lowest percentile of Thai society. I also feel this problem stems to generalisations about farang, by farang.

With regards to generalisations about the behaviour of Thai women, culturally, socially, intellectually and sexually, it is quite obvious that the readers making these assumptions are involved with low grade women. I would not expect a Thammasat graduate to force upon me years of debts to banks, as the author of ‘Advice on winning over a freelance escort – my answer’ seems to think is standard behaviour of Thai ladies who are ‘easy to win over’. The author does concede that he found his wife in Pattaya, however he should stress that this is behaviour typical of a Thai ex-prostitute, and not typical of a Thai woman. Though I will concede I have nevertheless encountered educated and well to do Thai girls who still expect an element of male support and gratification with material goods, but not to the extent of demanding the support of her entire extended deadbeat family who fail to express any gratitude to the farang for his support.

He Clinic Bangkok

Again, the countless submissions referring to Thai men being drunks, cheats and gambling addicts are again often referring to the lowest possible demographic of Thai society. A very small percentage of my male Thai friends ever gamble, and in fact look down on those who do. They drink socially and infrequently, and I could not name one friend who I would consider to be a problem drinker. However, I must concede that infidelity is a problem amongst my male Thai friends, many of which have gigs and find casual sex at nightclubs, or have no problem frequenting the massages of Ratchada, despite having a girlfriend. At any rate this could probably be attributed to them being 20 – 25 year old university students, behaviour that many of my friends back home partake in, minus the massages. I would probably attribute this purely to the demographic; cashed up and young uni students, perhaps not an issue that persists in more traditional Thai youth.

In relation to the stereotyping of farangs, by farangs, take for example, the recent submission regarding ‘90% Of Farangs Who Live In Thailand Are Despicable!’. The author talks solely about foreigners he has interacted with as teachers in a smallish Thai city (albeit historically rich), 5 hours from Bangkok. It is no secret that English teaching in Thailand, particularly at lower end schools attracts a lower level of teacher than many other professional options available to foreigners. He does not offer any reflections upon foreigners he met working in finance, engineering, personal training fields, or even teachers at high end schools in Bangkok. I have had many positive interactions with farang in Thailand, however, the negative interactions I’ve had have overwhelmingly been with two-bit English teachers in Chiang Mai who have no interest or passion in teaching children, only an interest in the 25k paycheck at the end of every month. Making these conclusions is about as accurate as a Thai person driving past Nana Plaza who concludes that all foreigners are sex tourists.

I hate to feel as if I’m on something of a high horse, but it really does bother me, particularly given the frequency of these generalisations, many of which do not go unnoticed by Stick. However, the fact remains in reader submissions, the term ‘most Thai girls’ refers to working girls. The effect of these generalisations is a false idea that we as farang, must tolerate these types of people whilst we live in Thailand. I’ve heard farang friends conclude they must tolerate their Thai girlfriend stealing money from their wallet, simply because this is Thailand. This is complete rubbish and it is encouraged by the aforementioned statements. Yes, perhaps it should be tolerated when dating prostitutes, but it most certainly should not be tolerated in reference to wider Thai society. The same applies to farang who feel they must settle for B-grade farang friends, simply because this is Thailand, and Thailand attracts a low class of foreigner. Once you venture outside of the backwater public schools, you will find that this is simply not the case, and there is no shortage of educated, interesting and ethically normal farangs in Thailand.

CBD bangkok

Stickman's thoughts:

Absolutely spot on. This recurring theme *is* becoming a problem and it's not just irritating, it's very disappointing insomuch that a lot of good advice has been given over the years but some are in denial and / or have their head in the sand.

nana plaza