Stickman Readers' Submissions March 19th, 2013

I Finally Met One

I’ve consistently read about chaps who have been taken to the cleaners by Thai women and eventually hung out to dry. I’ve never met any of these chaps and always wanted to so that I can get an understanding as to what’s going on in their head. Well recently, I finally met one. Here’s what panned out from our meeting.

I was at my usual hangout in Sukhothai with two other English teacher friends enjoying a drink when suddenly, this man walked in who was known to both of my friends. He was invited to join our table and we were introduced to each other. He seemed to be over 50 years of age, short in stature, overweight (not morbidly) but was energetic and animated. He came from the U.S.

He Clinic Bangkok

After our initial introduction, the usual getting to know each other conversation took place. You know the usual questions: “Where are you from?” “How long have you been here?” “What are you doing here?” “Are you married?” “How long you been married for?” “Where did you meet your wife?” Etc. After learning he was married for 18 years with his wife, I thought “how great for a foreigner to have a successful marriage for such a long time”.

Then one of the other guys suddenly blurted “Hey you know he’s currently having a mansion being built?”

I said “No I didn’t. How big is it?” thinking it’s just another typical Thai style village house but just a bigger version.

CBD bangkok

Out comes his laptop and he starts showing me pictures of the house that is currently in construction.

Well it literally is a mansion! The floors are marble, the wood is teak wood (that’s what I was told but I’m not sure what that means. I just knew it was some really good quality and expensive wood) and it includes a pool, bar and so many other mind boggling features. The cost for the home eventually is going to be a little over 1 million US dollars! This chap was one hell of a rich bloke who was running some sort of a company back in the U.S.

Now after showing me all of this, I compliment his home and lifestyle and wish him the best with his new mansion.

He says “Thanks but he’s f!@#ed”.

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I ask why in a confounded way.

He says “Everything is in his wife’s name. I’m screwed”.

I replied optimistically “Well you guys have been together for 18 years so I think trust issues must have been solved quite a while ago and the both of you must really know each other very well. The likelihood of getting the boot after the mansion is completed seems very slim from where I am sitting.”

He replies “No, it’s not like that. From time to time I have to go overseas for business purposes and could be away for a very long time. Returning back to Thailand from one of those business trips, I was suddenly introduced to two kids. They’re not my kids. While I was away, she’s f!@#$ed some Thai guy and had kids with him.”

At this moment I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I am simply in shock. So the next obvious question I asked was “Well why on earth are you still with her?”

He answers “I don’t know. I feel sad for the kids. When they see me, they call me father and run and jump on my back and I piggy back them and play with them.”

It was very hard for me just listening to all of this. I am simply in disbelief.

Following on, I then asked him if his wife does eventually give him the boot, does he have some money to cover his backside to which he replied “Yeah plenty”.

“Phew” I said to myself. At least he has some money left for a rainy day.

But, and this is a big but, why on earth is he letting himself get completely trampled on? I then asked him what his wife’s response was when you confronted her about the kids.

“Well that all happened when you weren’t here so you shouldn’t be complaining”.

“The nerve of her” I said to myself. I’ve never slapped a girl or lady in my entire life but this lady definitely deserved a good belting for how she was simply shitting all over this poor fella. Then again, he also needed a good belting for allowing himself to be used like this. I merely cannot fathom the inept character and actions of a man like this. Don’t get me wrong, all night while we were eating drinking and chatting, he was the friendliest bloke you’d ever meet but obviously completely lacked machismo.

When I heard all of this, I was very thankful that I have a Turkish background. The reason for this is because Turkey is quite a macho, patriarchal, male-controlled and masculine society. A man has to be a ‘man’ no matter what and a woman has to be a woman meaning the sex roles of each are pretty clear where the man is the ruler of the house and family. He is ultimately responsible for the entire family’s welfare and the woman is ultimately responsible for the entire house (all house chores) and rearing of children. Although it has somewhat ‘relaxed’ today, it’s definitely prevalent.

Being raised in Sydney has definitely reduced the level of machismo in me but I definitely have a side that is masculine and throughout my life thus far has served me well. For example, when it comes to seducing women, I have sensed one of the reasons they like me is because of my (low level) machismo which most likely conveyed confidence. It probably also gave them a sense of feeling secure with me. Don’t think I’m trying to blow my horn here and make myself seem like someone who is a gift to women; far from it. All I’m saying is that being masculine has many benefits when it comes to girls and relationships and I have experienced these benefits throughout my life especially here in Thailand. Interestingly, most guys who criticize guys that are Alpha males are labelled as insecure and act that way to cover their insecurities. I’m sure we all have our insecurities but that sort of criticism smells of jealousy.

In the end, I simply cannot comprehend why any man would completely allow himself to get trampled on by some Thai lady. Thankfully, the guy I met hasn’t been given the boot yet and hopefully he won’t get it in the future. I’m sure lack of masculinity plays a role but I’m also sure it goes much deeper than that. Has the toxic ideology feminism reduced men in the west to emasculated buffoons? Has it got something to do with childhood trauma or the family environment he was raised in? I give up. All I can say is guys, it’s time to man up just a little.

Stickman's thoughts:

The guy is incredibly weak. Thailand does rather seem to attract a lot of guys like that…

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