Stickman Readers' Submissions March 18th, 2013

Do Thai Women Care If You’re Married Or Not?

This submission is the result of an internal musing that’s been going on for a while due to a string of ‘interactions’ I’ve had with Thai women up in the Sukhothai / Phitsanulok region. What follows are my reflections.

Recently, I have met quite a few ladies that I have ended up sleeping with but the difference with these ladies is that before I even laid a hand on them, I told them straight out I was married. After being made aware of this fact, they still happily wanted to begin a sexual liaison with me. Now I don’t want to turn this into an ‘I saved this much to have sex with her competition’ but no money or ‘gifts’ were ever given for the sex. The main expenses were for the hotel room, foods and drinks. Occasionally, some of the ladies paid for the hotel and other expenses including petrol. So the question is why? Why would a woman have consensual sex with a man knowing beforehand he was married? There were no financial gains from the liaisons so again, the question is why?

He Clinic Bangkok

Here is a possible answer. The sex ratio of women to men is slightly higher in Thailand in the adult category. This is important and must be kept in consideration. More importantly, from the available pool of men, there is a significant number who are either gay or tranny. Add to that the number of men in jail and this would result in a slight increase in the sex ratio of women to men. So looking at it from a numbers perspective, it’s fair to say women simply don’t have many options to choose from as opposed to men. Now this may provide one reason as to why women might knowingly have sex with a married man. Maybe they have run out of choice from the available pool of men and when the ‘itch’ arises, they’re willing to settle for a married man to ‘itch’ their ‘itchy area’. Keep in mind I am talking about Sukhothai and Phitsanulok where the population is miniscule compared to Bangkok and the amount of foreigners available is negligible.

Other than the sex ratio argument, another possibility could be the fact that I’m a foreigner and that these ladies could simply be curious about how a foreigner is in bed. But I don’t find this argument compelling because no matter what, there has to be some sort of communication and if the foreigner is unable to communicate in Thai or the girl unable to in English, then lack of communication is going lead to a quick fizzle. However, and this brings me to another more compelling argument which is having the ability to speak Thai.

It’s been about 11 months since I moved to Thailand and I have made a very strong effort to learn Thai and I could confidently say that my Thai speaking abilities fall into the intermediate level. Some of the ladies I have bedded hardly spoke a word of English and all communication was in Thai. This I believe is a key factor with most of my liaisons in Thailand in the last few months.

CBD bangkok

Besides the sex ratio and language abilities arguments, there is also something else all these women had in common which is a lack of receiving affection. Now here are some examples of how I ended up sleeping with these ladies to highlight this.

Let’s begin with the first girl whose name I’ll change to Gop. After meeting with her in Sukhothai Big C, she kept on telling me how she felt lonely and hardly had any friends. I told her I was married and that if she has a problem we could cease seeing each other then and there. She said no it was alright. Next two days met up and walked around the historical park and strolled around the markets. Third day we went to a waterfall in Tak province which was completely empty as it was a weekday. Once we were in the water we started making out. Now on the way back to Sukhothai, I was sitting in the front seat in my boxers and suddenly she asked me if she could see my ‘member’ to which I said “yeah sure”. She then asked if she could ‘play with it’ to which I replied “yeah sure”. She then pulls into a service station, I buy condoms and she proceeds to a secluded place, parks the car and we proceed to do the deed. From that day I am still seeing this girl regularly and most of our sessions have taken place in her car in that same secluded area.

The next incident occurred in Phitsanulok. We’ll call her Aum. Aum is an anaesthetist in a major hospital in Phitsanulok. I make the 50 km drive from Sukhothai and we meet in Starbucks Central Plaza. She comes in her nurse’s uniform. We sit for 10 minutes and proceed to my car about to head together to a different place when she gets a phone call from her boss saying she needs to be back at work within the hour due to an emergency operation which needs to take place. She is very upset that she must go back. I say no worries and she says she’ll direct me to her hospital. She directs me to Naresuan University (which is about 20 km outside of the city centre) in Phitsanulok which has a major hospital and I assumed she worked there. Instead she directs me to a huge Buddha and tells me to take my shoes off and follow her to which I replied my beliefs are completely opposed to worshipping idols and I politely refused. She said no problems and to just wait for her to finish her prayers. I said no problems. I thought she was praying that the operation she’s about to enter into goes smoothly and for the well-being of the patient. So once she’s done she says she’ll direct me again.

Back in my car we go and we are now again heading back into the city centre and in a bemused manner I asked her “don’t you work in the university hospital?” to which she replied no she just wanted to pray at that specific Buddha. Now here’s when it gets really bizarre. She tells me to pull over on the side of the freeway leading into the city centre. I ask what for and she says she still has a little time and that we could talk a little. I say ok and pull over on the side of the freeway. She takes her glasses off. This is what the conversation consisted of. “Eric you love me forever ok. Promise me please”. I say “I’ve already told you I am married and can’t promise you anything”. She then starts playing with herself and grabs my head and starts kissing me. After a few minutes of heavy kissing she pulls her underwear off and jumps in the backseat of my pickup truck where we do the deed. I thought there was no need to go Tak to see a waterfall as there was one in the backseat of my pick-up truck. All of this took place within 40 minutes after meeting with her. She kept on telling me how she literally has no time for a social life and works like a dog at the hospital (although she makes good money) and is very lonely.

wonderland clinic

I’ll give just one more example to make the point. Met up with the lady at Kong Krailat which is 20 km from Sukhothai. Before that we had been chatting on the phone for nearly 2 weeks almost every day. We’ll call her Gip. She works in Phuket as the primary caretaker of an elderly Swiss lady and came to her home for a short holiday. After we meet, we go straight to the hotel in Sukhothai and proceed to do the deed quite a few times. She knew I was married 2 weeks ago but that didn’t stop her from sleeping with me. Again, the lack of intimacy she had experienced for a long time was a huge factor constantly stuck at work taking care of her patient. These three examples including the rest of the ladies made it clear to me that lack of intimacy and affection in their lives was part of the explanation for sleeping with a married man knowing very well beforehand.

But there has been one lady for example who we can call Fish who refused flat out to sleep with me once I told her I was married but said it would be ok to be friends only. So not all the women I came in contact with slept with me knowing I was married beforehand but the overwhelming majority did. Furthermore, I felt that if I put in the ‘effort’ with Fish and be her ‘friend’, things probably would lead to a sexual liaison but I couldn’t be bothered putting in the effort.

So I don’t know. I’ve pointed to three possible explanations as to why a large number of women would sleep with a man knowing full well he’s married. Is it because of the sex ratio numbers of women compared to men? Or is having the ability to speak some basic Thai the tipping point? Or is it lack of affection and intimacy which pushes them to sleep with a married man because that’s what’s mainly available? Who knows? One thing I do know is that I have had some of the most bizarre experiences these last few months up around these parts of Thailand.

Stickman's thoughts:

There does rather seem to be a willingness amongst local lasses to overlook one's marital status. I'm not criticising here, but it will be interesting to see how long you can get away with this without your wife knowing. Be careful! There really could be hell if she finds out – and don't expect the ladies you're sleeping with to keep it a secret!

nana plaza