Readers' Submissions

Thoughts On Being Done Over By A Filipina

  • Written by Anonymous
  • January 24th, 2013
  • 4 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok


Phnom Penh guesthouse
Guesthouse Phnom Penh Cambodia


I read with interest the article in relation to the writer's experiences regarding marrying Filipino women. My experience could be considered some what different. My wife is Filipino, I'm an Australian. We were introduced through friends some 25 years ago in Manila. My wife came from a very good family and from the first meeting I felt they were a very decent and loving family. In the early days of our relationship I would visit two or three times a year, so it wasn't a short affair, in fact we communicated over a two-year period even before marriage was even considered.

When I felt it was right I had a very long conversation with my now farther in law in regard to marrying his daughter. It proved to be quite an interesting conversation indeed and he pointed out many aspects of married life to me that really I had not even considered before. Anyway, he gave his approval along with my mother in law's love, so it was then decided that my new to be wife and I would marry in the Philippines. As expected it was a spectacular affair. We married in the Catholic Church in Paco, Manila, and the service was very long. I didn't ever think we were going to finish, it went on and on!

The reception was beautiful with 200 guests so it was a big deal. It all went off very well.

After the wedding I decided to stay on in the Philippines for 3 months just to give my new wife the time she needed to finalise everything before we headed for Australia.

My wife's early introduction to Australia wasn't a happy time for her. She missed her family terribly and that caused many anxious times for me. I would go to work early morning only to return later in the day to find my wife hadn't even done anything. She would just sit staring into space. I needed to do something and do it very quickly as I could see that the isolation was starting to affect her. I approached the Multi Cultural Centre in our town and asked for their advice. They were wonderful to my wife and immediately got her involved. Before long she was talking and getting involved in some of their social events.

Don't get me wrong, this was a very hard time for both of us. My wife couldn't cook when she came here and I joke now about this. I remember I asked her to make me coffee one day and she boiled the kettle dry in the process.

The reason she had never learnt to cook was very simple. She had worked in the Philippines in a very good job, and her parents had maids in the house so there was no need. She would come home from work and everything would be done for her. So coming here was quite a culture shock for her. Anyway, I taught her the basics of cooking and before long she was cooking for both of us, and became very good at it.

In her first 12 months of being here I asked her mother to come and stay with us. That proved to be my saviour. Her mother is a beautiful person who cares and loves all her family very much. Even today, in her later years, she has never lost that aspect of her personality. At this time my wife gave birth to our first child. We have four children now ranging in ages from 22 down to 8 years. So she has been very busy.

Of course it hasn't always been beer and skittles in our relationship. My wife has the worst temper I have ever seen on a woman and she tends to fly into rages that last a few hours. I really think it's a combination of a few things. They tend to have a very high blood, they say it's to do with the mix of Spanish blood. Who knows?

I find the best thing to do is just walk away when she is like that. Don't get me wrong I'm no woos. If I feel she is wrong about something I'm always the first to let her know. We have been married now for 25 years. It's had it's ups and downs, but over all it's been a good marriage. She can be a very loving person my wife, full of compassion, but just look out if something upsets her. And I really think that's where a lot of men come undone in their relationships with these girls.

They make very bad choices. Firstly, they don't have the finances to embark on this type of adventure. You can't really expect a woman to be with a person who has nothing, and the time frame they have known these women is too short in my opinion. Then there is the ultimate mistake of marrying someone from the bars. That's just suicide in my opinion.

I've read many stories in relation to these girls. Some could be true, and some I really think are an accident waiting to happen.

Like the old saying goes, it takes two to tango!

On that note I will wish you all well. Get to know your partner, don't make promises you can't keep and above all be true to yourself.



Stickman's thoughts:

Simple but spot on final paragraph. Br true to yourself – that is the key in most of life, in my opinion.