Stickman Readers' Submissions January 10th, 2013

Thailand Trip Report 3 of 4

Day 1

The flight into Pattaya was on a propeller plane. 15 guys…two with Thai girlfriends on a plane that could easily seat 50. The Phuket to Pattaya Punter Express, I suppose.

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I grab a taxi service. 1000 baht. They had busses for 250 a head, but stuff that.

I check in to the Sunshine Hotel and Residences.

Go to beach road. Score weed. This time amazing.

Smoke and read Stickman's latest weekly and fall asleep by 9 PM LOL.

Day 2

It's fun to explore a new area so I decide to check out my home turf, Sois 8, 7 and 6.

Soi 7 had the Eagle Bar which had some loud, older ladies. Played some dice and bailed. Both Soi 7 and 8 are fun in early evening onwards.

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Over to Secrets for lunch. You can learn a lot about a place by being there right when it opens. See how things get started. I learned that the management is good and the employees look happy and act like a family. The food arrives, the girls start to file in. It's a new day in a never-ending cycle of sex, filth and fun.

I barfine a gogo girl from Secrets with a great smile and no English. Short time room. Fun session. I move on.

I get a second room at the Penthouse Hotel. Going to try the Kitten Club.

Around 8 I show up and buy a round for like 10 people. It is then that I realize that Kitten and Obsession are the same club. 2 doors, one club and the girls and ladyboys are all mixed up.

I filter through eventually and pick two for short time. 1500 baht each. Amazing sex again. Geeeeeeez.. Kitten Club is totally awesome. But man, the ladyboys are aggressive and I swear I could not figure out who was who at first. Tip. The ladyboys wear black and the girls wear pink.

Still early…what's next? I'm in Penthouse so I might as well max things out. I go down and pick two more girls for long time. 3000 THB each. I'm sure I could haggle it down but I really don't want to bother.

We go to the Ice Bar. I love house and trance but the music at Ice Bar is just commercialized poppy bass music. Not impressed.

We go back to the Penthouse and do what you do when you bring two gogo girls to the Penthouse.

Day 3

The next morning the girls take off and it's Christmas morning. Ho Ho Ho LOL. The Penthouse was an awesome experience. It was exactly as advertised on their website. Though I have to ask all the Thai plumbers out there. What is your issue with regulating the flow between hot and cold water? It has to be scalding then freezing..then the hot water is gone.

And just in general, could the entire country please update your AC? Penthouse had the hot cold water problem as well as barely passable AC and no AC in the elevator or hotel lobby. Those little details annoy but do not ruin a stay there.

Stickman mentions on his site that everyone should stay there once and that is certainly true.

I check out and do some shopping and find myself at Dicey Riley's Pub and restaurant. There is a Christmas buffet. Turkey, ham, stuffing. Everything. Wow thanks Dicey Riley's. They have a band with two female singers and awesome food and service. 5 stars, seriously! On Christmas morning when you are alone after banging gogo girls on Christmas Eve…it's a nice real home cooked style Christmas dinner was an awesome thing to find randomly and make it feel at least a little like Christmas.

Drinking, smoking weed and banging Thai hookers…Merry Christmas!!!

Before I forget, I want to mention that the Sunshine Hotel blows. Wireless down. Wireless not free in your tower. Can pay by hour or by week…but not by day. Totally hate it. Will never stay here again because of the wireless. The maid was nice and the staff did their job but nothing like the service at either the Dawin or the Safari Beach Hotel.

Today / Tonight I decide to keep it local. Let's see what I can get out of Soi 8. I hit all the little bars…one big one that has a band. Good band. Hot singer.

I barfine a girl who swear to God two weeks earlier was an office girl. How much for short time I ask her. "I don't know", she says. Lol. So I say 1,000 baht. She says Ok. Man. We go to my room and afterwards I give her 2,000.

Then we go dancing all night and come back. After the fun she gets up to leave and thinks the 2k was for long time and apologizes for leaving early. Lol. Ok, whatever.

Day 4

Body count at 18. Been drinking for 10 days…no hangover yet. Just drink beer and no hangover. No sugary drinks and no hard alcohol. With that recipe I can drink everyday and never feel like shit in the morning.

I barfine the cute hostess in the bar across the street from the hotel. No English whatsoever. Fun time though…body count 19.

Start drinking and running around. At this point I have saturated Soi 7 and 8. Plenty of hot women to be had on those sois during the late night.

At around 1 AM I head to Walking Street. Need to hit some hardcore gogo places. I try a small one or two and then go to Alcatraz. Ring the bell and get to see 6 or 7 girls file by and drink. Ringing the bell is a bit like speed dating. It gives you a few seconds with a bunch of girls and out of those 7 or so, one or more will always take a deeper interest in you…if your interest is mutual then you are off to a great start.

Such was the case this time. One of the girls….dressed like a cop started chatting me up. I ask her if she would like to go dancing…but please keep on the cop uniform. And with that I am off with my own security guard. 🙂

We go to Insomnia and dance. She is awesome. Super fun girl and mega ultra hot. Dammit she was hot! Great English, good in bed and as I mentioned so hot. We head back to my hotel and etc…etc..

Day 5

Body count at 20. One more day in Pattaya. Need to hit some more of Walking Street tonight.

My motivation for sex is down a bit. Not a mad dash anymore but a slow steady stream.

In the early evening I try the food at the Sunshine. Nothing special. I end up on Soi 7 all night again. That wasn't my intent but I found this girl, we'll call her number 21 because at this point I can not remember names. Pong? Bing? Dang? It all blends together. But anyway this girl has rocker style and is super sexy. I take one look at her and can tell she smokes.

So we smoke up and then go see some live music. Thais singing Pink Floyd never gets old. This girl's big smile and tiny figure is so alluring.

So more sex and we wake up next to each other.


As a recap for Pattaya, there are hot women everywhere. At bars, gogo clubs and freelancers at the dance clubs. Bar girls can be had for 1000 (500 if ugly) short time and 1500 – 2000 long time. Gogos seem to be 1500 short and 3K long. Again, if you negotiate everything can be lower but I just rarely negotiate. Spoils the mood for me. I want to spend as little time as possible talking about money. I can't believe I spent so little time on Walking Street…or I guess Walking Street gogos. Oh well, leave some for next year.

Now it's time for three nights in Bangkok. A black Mercedes rolls up, my ride back to Bangkok. The last part of the trip I go 5 star. The luggage is loaded and I hit the send button.

-American Ling

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