Stickman Readers' Submissions January 15th, 2013

My Story With a 10+ Freelancer

Melly Chlistmasss from Thailand!

I trust this finds you all well.

He Clinic Bangkok

Following is a quite interesting true story about myself in a relationship with a 10+ freelancer which turned to be a complete new situation for me & a different lifestyle proposal… At the end you will find my take and conclusion of the situation and I hope to hear some share of thoughts through new postings here on the website or at my personal e-mail. I'm really interested to know how you guys would react in the same situation.

I trust this particular case can make all of us rethink some of our in deep Western principles and values. And especially how far we can (or cannot) stretch our boundaries…

I thought about attaching a photo of the beauty protagonist of this story but then I remembered that Stick may not allow it and also because it would be not fair to her.

CBD bangkok

Anyway, you can imagine a 27-year old Thai woman, 6'1 tall (yes, they exist and not a ladyboy!) with hips, long shiny black hair, impeccable teeth, that peach soft touch white skin and the sweetest personality I have ever seen in a Thai woman. In addition a shy and discreet type of person who does not drink, smoke or have any tattoos and is the lowest maintenance woman I ever had. She is a sex professional! Her rates are 2,000 for short time and 3,000 for long time. Not negotiable! Let's call her Ola.

The first time I saw her in a disco I was so impressed that I had no choice but to approach her directly. For some reason she was not interested in me at all and did not even bother to talk to me until I said the magic words :5,000 THB short time & I will not leave this place with any other girl but you!

Well, I took the beauty that night and from then onwards I meet her regularly for short time encounters, mostly in the evening before she goes to work for a much reasonable “long term customer” rate between 1,200 – 1,500 baht per encounter. In terms of the sex itself I have to recognize that she is not in the top 10 of my life, however just to see such beauty in all those different naughty positions makes my mind go wild!

I come to Thailand often and due to my work privileges and I can always stay between 2 and 3 months. I have budget to make it quite comfortably but it also does not allow me to spend 3K – 5K / day as if I would go out partying every single night.

wonderland clinic

For this reason I tend to be picky in selecting “my girls” and I do repeat them often. Not only to get a better price rate, but mostly because after some time they know what I like and vice-versa, there is something to talk about, and this also creates a sort of friendship between us that is good for me and perhaps for them as well.

Obviously this 10+ freelancer was on the list and I used to see her every two or three days.

It happened one day that at the usual time she did not reply to the SMS message and later she did not answer the phone. I thought she was “busy” with another customer and did not get too worried about it. However around 11 PM that same day she messages me saying that she had had a motorbike accident. She was at the hospital and wanted me to see her.

I went to the hospital and met her. Nothing was broken but she had a few bad injuries on her arms, legs and foot that would make her unable to walk properly and to “work”. There was no bill to be paid and I offered her to stay at my place for a couple of days so I could take care of her until she gets better and she agreed.

During the days she was staying at my place her girlfriend failed to pay the rent of their shared room and as a result the landlord called her to take her things out. Here again, she did not ask me for a single baht to clear her debts, but only to go with her and help her bring all her stuff into my place.

From that day, she stayed with me for 15 days and it is from this period of time that I could learn something about her. Also the wounds from the accident fortunately did not interfere much in our sexual life that was usually around 4 times a day. We used to wake up around noon, have lunch together, than a bit of computer work for me while she was reading a book or watching TV, a bit of beach walk, sunsets and a bit of love in the evenings. At nights, dinner in a cheap but savory food market or restaurant followed by wonderful nights of good sleep. During this time she never asked me for a single baht, however I gave her around 1,000 baht every two or three days with the excuse that she was unable to work and I understand everybody likes to have some money in their pocket.

During this time I also learnt that in fact she is from and lives in Bangkok and not in Phuket where we usually meet. That she works there as a baby sitter for a foreign couple, not because of the money which is low but mainly because it is a nice well located place to live, there is free housing and meals for her and she avoids of being alone. She told me that in Bangkok she mainly goes to Thai only places and does not “work”.

She told me that her family lives close to Bangkok. Her father got physically sick last year and cannot work anymore. Her mother works doing diverse stuff making 400 baht per day. She has a 17-year old sister who is about to finish school and is planning to come with her to Phuket next year and a young 9-year old brother. Also that she normally spends the weekends with them.

Then she told me that she only “works” as a freelancer in Phuket, and that she comes here every time she runs out of money in Bangkok or by request (which was my case). She said that here in Phuket she usually makes around 40 – 60K a month that allows her living in Bangkok for the rest of the year but that this amount is not really necessary as she is a frugal type of person (which is absolute true!) and has no big dreams to her life being her only real commitment to send 5,000 baht to her family every beginning of the month.

In addition, she openly said she is in fact a lonely person, proven to be true as I we spent her birthday together and most of the people in the party were friends of mine. That day she received very few phone calls, only 6 messages on Facebook and obviously birthday gifts only from my friends.

One day I asked her about what she wanted in life and she said to find someone nice who could understand her, someone who she enjoyed to be with, who could take care of her frugal needs and be responsible for sending 5K to her family every month.

As she knows I am not a newbie here. I trust she was sincere in everything she said, however I also felt that after so many Thai girls in my life I was now finally falling in the oldest Thai trap… Anyway I was happy with her answer and she seemed very happy that we had an agreement!


1- She does not speak English well which leads to almost only very basic conversation, if some.

2- I could not find anything that she is interested in besides watching Thai music programs on the TV. She does not like going to the beach, to the movies and the sex as I said at the beginning is not that amazing.

3- I have with me that she suffers from depression. She hardly gets excited with anything or laugh or smile.

Plus sides:

1- She can eat Farang food and enjoys it! Yes boys, she is definitely not a girl from Isaan! Even pizza she likes.

2- She is discreet, does not look at other men when with me, has a highly balanced personality and does not take any drugs.

3- She is a frugal person and does not feed any high dreams to her life.

Well… days went by and the wounds started to heal. One after another the bandages were taken off at the hospital and she was getting better.

As she was getting better she started saying that she wanted to go back to the clubs of “Bangla Road” (the red light area of Phuket) only for a few hours, even though she was happy living with me…

As I did not like too much the idea in the beginning so she said that she knew I would stay in Phuket for a quite long time, that I didn't have big money to make it properly and that she was just going to “work” in order to bring some more money home…

It was hard for me to take, however I thought I knew she was “a snake” and well…snakes must behave like snakes! It was also me who offered her to stay in my place and let the “snake” in. So, after a few days I said she could go for a few hours and we agreed she would be back by 3:30 AM but she seemed not sure about making the deadline…

Around 10:30 PM she started opening her suitcase and taking off different clothes that she was normally wearing. Different shoes, a large set of makeup, special soap, creams, powders and also an enhanced bra.

I watched her to get dressed for almost an hour and a half…and around midnight she was a killer! She gave me a kiss, said good night and left. I asked her to message me when coming back so I could open the door.

I was calm. I took a sleeping pill and tried to elaborate in my mind that now I have the very best of the two worlds. I have a 10+ living with me and doing me for free, who is also happy to go “work” and bring the lunch home. And on top of that, from now onwards I will also have some free hours to meet whoever I wanted.

Well, boys, it did not work. The sleeping pill did not have the expected effect and around 2:00 AM I was drinking whisky and reading Stick.

Around 3:00 AM I decided to go out. I thought that when she messages me I would be around and could bring her home…

Well…I ended up going to different places where she uses to “work” but could not find her…

At 3:50 AM I message her telling her to sleep wherever she was as I didn't want her to sleep on my bed anymore. She replied saying she was on her way back to our room and wanted me to go as well. I manage to send her a few messages asking her (not politely) to leave my place, to sleep with whichever customer and to come back tomorrow around 10:00 AM when I would return her belongings. She replied saying that she did not have any customer but if I wanted her to leave she would do so, but straight away and for that I needed to get back to open the door so she could get her stuff out.

I was now drunk. I was emotionally hurt and confused and I was angry. I had entered in one of those good happy places around Bangla and (as always happens at the wrong timing) met one of my friends from the past. She has a completely different personality from Ola. This one is communicative, cheerful, was looking hot and definitely more than willing to make a man happy! I joined her on the fun for one hour or so and then we headed home.

Arriving home I met Ola patiently waiting on the door steps. I opened the door and through her suitcase out. I then let her in shouting at her to collect any missing items and she left crying, on foot, around 6:00 AM carrying all her stuff.

The other girl seemed not surprised at all with the “show” and as soon as the door closed started to perform her bit. Maybe because of the that night went quite well in terms of sex, as pretty much nothing had happened just a few minutes ago..

In the morning however I felt a big emotional hangover. I felt like I have done something very bad and maybe one of those big mistakes one makes in life. I took the girl to the nearest taxi, paid her and went back home. From home I messaged Ola. I apologized for the last night. I said I shouldn't have treated her that way and that I hoped she was fine.

For my surprise she replayed. She said she was not well, that I have caused her a big problem with nowhere to go in the morning with her suitcases and that she was very sad about the other woman. She also wrote that she did not understand why I reacted that way as we both agreed on the plan before. She did not go with any other man and in fact she was only a few minutes late. She then asked me with her kind personality what I wanted to do next..?

I replied that I wanted her to be happy and to do what she needed to do, however that I am a Farang man and not a Thai man and maybe because of this I could not hold the situation of living this way. That I still like her, but that I cannot not sleep / kiss her after she has been with other men. And this was our final communication.

My take:

From long readings of serious research books about Thai people and from my own experience I understand that most of the girls on Bangla Road, Nana Plaza or any other red light district area you can name have kids and sometimes these kids are boys.

These boys are raised usually by a grandmother in the villages while their mothers are “working” in the big cities.

When these boys get teenagers they fully understand what “Mama” does for living and to bring food home and this does not disturb them at all as most of their colleagues live the same situation and this is in fact not a big deal or problem for anyone ( exception made for the ignorant Farangs), but maybe the opposite. More money means more goods and so on… More likely than not they will see their sisters at the age of 15 or 16 on the villages f@#$ing their school mates for little money but this will in the end increase the level of comfort in the household as a whole. After that, they will follow the older sister’s steps to the big cities. From this will come better clothes, electronic games, a trendy new cellular phone and finally the motorbike!

It is my opinion therefore that this type of behavior from women in Thailand is not reprobated but encouraged if not to say pushed. And this is happening for so many years that it is now a deep cultural trait of the country. <This type of behaviour is only viewed that way by a small number of the poorest people in the countryStick>

Linking the ends I can think that what Ola did and offered me was not an insult or a disrespectful attitude, but maybe the opposite. Perhaps she was offering me all she got to offer, which is, by the way, the same she offers to her father and young brother. Having very little to offer, maybe even unconsciously she wanted that sort of feeling a westerner man has when recently married and he manages to give her wife with a brand new car… Maybe she was really only looking for the money or maybe she just needed to have some fun, in her ways. I don't know and probably I will never know as the situation of having your woman sleeping with other men still not solved at my side.

There is also something about these women that must be taken into consideration. For an unknown reason it seems to me that they have in their blood the urge to please men. It is something as a strong instinct as they came to this world to perform this role, something similar to the pleasure one gets after a job well done, a well deserved promotion and the happiness coming from the professional side of life! And whoever has been with any Thai woman knows what I am talking about…They simply don't sleep before having their mission fully completed and some of them will in fact double check the condom on the floor before saying good night. The problem is: No matter man and as many as better! On the other hand, this unique female behavior is also what brings us to this land and makes us stay.

Well this girl was offering me what she got and following her instincts. I think about this as watching a beautiful bird on the wild. It is happily singing and full of colors. Bring it into a cage, even the most luxurious cage you can find and it will slowly die.

My personal conclusion:

The bedrock of a relationship between a Farang man (no matter age, appearance or money) and a beautiful young Thai woman will only be possible if, at first, the man is capable to completely ban the possession feelings out of his mind and to leave his bird fly wild wherever she wants. And then, when the bird comes back, to treat her as you would like to be treated after a hard but winner month at the office. I firmly believe that if you are able to take them in this way, their Thai ways, these birds will come back, and back and back. And in reality no money will be required whatsoever. Hard bit to take…? Well…for me, unfortunately it was…

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Sawadee Krupp

The Seaman

Stickman's thoughts:

You tried to create a relationship on your terms with a woman who wanted a relationship on different terms and it was never going to be able to work.

A good friend of mine had a similar situation to this back in the late '90s when he had a working girl living with him who went out, did short-times, maybe even a long-time and then would eventually return to him. Amazingly, he was faithful to her and gave her money. It was a really sad situation and something he should not have ever got involved with as he was a young, good-looking guy who was simple down on his confidence. It eventually all went pear-shaped and he left a number of messages on my answer phone with me pleading to go over and help after she had flipped out…

Bargirls aren't relationship material at the best of times, even more so when they're still working as bargirls!

nana plaza